Does a narcissist improve after the age of 55?

Answer 1

The narcissist ages without mercy and without grace. His withered body and his overwrought mind betray him all at once. He stares with incredulity and rage at cruel mirrors. He refuses to accept his growing fallibility. He rebels against his decrepitude and mediocrity. Accustomed to being awe-inspiring and the recipient of adulation - the narcissist cannot countenance his social isolation and the pathetic figure that he cuts.

As a child prodigy, a sex symbol, a stud, a public intellectual, an actor, an idol - the narcissist was at the centre of attention, the eye of his personal twister, a black hole which sucked people's energy and resources dry and spat out with indifference their mutilated carcasses. No longer. With old age comes disillusionment. Old charms wear thin.

Having been exposed for what he is - a deceitful, treacherous, malignant egotist - the narcissist's old tricks now fail him. People are on their guard, their gullibility reduced. The narcissist - being the rigid, precariously balanced structure that he is - can't change. He reverts to old forms, re-adopts hoary habits, succumbs to erstwhile temptations. He is made a mockery by his accentuated denial of reality, by his obdurate refusal to grow up, an eternal, malformed child in the sagging body of a decaying man.

It is the fable of the grasshopper and the ant revisited.

The narcissist - the grasshopper - having relied on supercilious stratagems throughout his life - is singularly ill-adapted to life's rigors and tribulations. He feels entitled - but fails to elicit narcissistic supply. Wrinkled time makes child prodigies lose their magic, lovers exhaust their potency, philanderers waste their allure, and geniuses miss their touch. The longer the narcissist lives - the more average he becomes. The wider the gulf between his pretensions and his accomplishments - the more he is the object of derision and contempt.

Yet, few narcissists save for rainy days. Few bother to study a trade, or get a degree, pursue a career, maintain a business, keep their jobs, or raise functioning families, nurture their friendships, or broaden their horizons. Narcissists are perennially ill-prepared. Those who succeed in their vocation, end up bitterly alone having squandered the love of spouse, off-spring, and mates. The more gregarious and family-orientated - often flunk at work, leap from one job to another, relocate erratically, forever itinerant and peripatetic.

The contrast between his youth and prime and his dilapidated present constitutes a permanent narcissistic injury. The narcissist retreats deeper into himself to find solace. He withdraws into the penumbral universe of his grandiose fantasies. There - almost psychotic - he salves his wounds and comforts himself with trophies of his past.

A rare minority of narcissists accept their fate with fatalism or good humour. These precious few are healed mysteriously by the deepest offense to their megalomania - old age. They lose their Narcissism and confront the outer world with the poise and composure that they lacked when they were captives of their own, distorted, narrative.

Such changed narcissists develop new, more realistic, expectations and hopes - commensurate with their talents, skills, accomplishments and education. Ironically, it is invariably too late. They are avoided and ignored, rendered transparent by their checkered past. They are passed over for promotion, never invited to professional or social gatherings, cold-shouldered by the media. They are snubbed and disregarded. They are never the recipients of perks, benefits, or awards. They are blamed when not blameworthy and rarely praised when deserving. They are being constantly and consistently punished for who they were. It is poetic justice in more than one way. They are being treated narcissistically by their erstwhile victims. They finally are tasting their own medicine, the bitter harvest of their wrath and arrogance.

Based on my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

� 2003 Lidija Rangelovska Narcissus Publications

They are shallow and do not accept age well. And no, their attitude doesnt get any better either. It gets far worse, especially if they have any addictions.

Answer 2

The Narcissist is about control and even though they enjoy that control they don't respect the person they are striking out at. The longer the couple are together the more the Narcissist detests their mate for "being weak" in their eyes. If the mate tries to stand up for themselves the Narcissist will become enraged or at least argumentative and everything is their partner's fault. The best thing to do is walk away from this person. Another thought: I am not an expert but have been associating for several years with someone who consistently exhibits N traits. I think their treatment of others goes steadily downhill (after they're confident they've got you in their web) mostly because of their control needs, yes. However, these people suffer from constant restlessness and are always seeking relief from whatever is eating at them on that day. Boredom is a great enemy of theirs, so they feel plenty ok about treating "friends" badly in order to move on and get new Sources and activities in their lives. Remember: it's always about THEM.

Answer 3

Absolutely. I've seen it with my own eyes, coz my grandma is one. when people grow older, they want their loved ones to get closer...but things are just the opposite with her. Whenever we visit her, we can see the irritation on her face, as if all love for her own family & relatives are now lost. On the other hand, she wants me or anyone from the family to sleep beside her at night, coz she's afraid no one's gonna be their if she dies at night. The more days pass by, the more she tortures people emotionally & makes people cry. Everyone wants to stay away from her, including all her children but my father. Dad says, she's gonna pass away anytime so why not keep her happy till then. I can never convince dad how impossible it is to keep her happy, no matter how much we try. She's becoming worse day by day in terms of attitude, selfishness, feelings etc. She's the most heartless person I've ever seen in my entire life & I'm never gonna forgive her for hurting my family.i m ashamed to call her a family.she was never a good mother nor wife, let alone a good grandma or a person.

Answer 4

Narcissism seems to get progressively worse with age/experience -as the more experience with manipulation, deception, charm, tantrums, twisting communication etc...the more entrenched the disorder. Most likely, treatment will make a Narcissist worse because it provides a means for learning more manipulative skills. My Narcissist X Husband of 15 years went to therapy for a year in order to "win" me back after just walking out on me for no reason the first year we lived together. For the next 6 years he modified his behavior...rather than resorting to covert abuse, he resorted to very subtle but very consistent manipulation. During the last 4 years of the marriage, he resorted to every form of abuse imaginable to unbelieable extremes. One of his last comments to me was a references to the therapy he attended after the first year. He told me he spent the sessions talking about what a Narcissist his wife was (me). True? Who knows, he lied so much I will never know the truth. But I'm sure he gained some ego-stroking from the therapy on top of the new psychological manipulation tactics.

Answer 5

With most personality disorders, including and perhaps especially the narcissistic one, the onset begins in early adulthood and pretty much sustains itself with each passing year.

So with every year that goes by, the pd, (personality disorder) which in this case is the narcissistic pd, (if left untreated and unacknowledged by the narcissist or any other pd individual), ends up getting worse and so deeply ingrained that it would in fact be almost impossible for it to just magically disappear or even become less of a problem as time elapses.

However, there is a method of therapy called psychotherapy, that the treatment of narcissism is said to be generally centered upon.

However it involves seeing a psychotherapist and being willing to communicate and develop insight into one's own condition. Not just turning 55-years-old without seeking any kind of professional help or even realizing the need for it.

Answer 6

The pathological narcissism associated with narcissistic, borderline and antisocial personality disorders is believed by the profession to actually worsen with age. The mirror cracks, so to speak.

Answer 7

alone, i doubt it, because narcissist sometimes evolves into a sociopath, but with the help of a psychologist, then it can help, but i don't think time will help,but grow.

Answer 8

Unfortunately it get's much worse. They have had decades of using and abusing others and most will continue until the day they die.