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Do abusive men use the attractive appearance of other women as a form of emotional abuse to their partners?
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
Abuse is quite polymorphic, in that, it can assume many different forms depending on the circumstances, the cultural background, the history, and ofcourse, the individual quirks of the abuser. The bottom line in an abusive relationship is that the abuser says things that make the victim uncomfortable, confused, routinely unhappy, sad, and, most importantly, that lower the victim's self-esteem. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, cliched as it may sound. If a guy loves you, you are more beautiful to him than Cameron Diaz or Catherine Zeta Jones. And if he is an abusive ass, he will humiliate you even if you look like either of them. Occassionally reminding you that you need to trim your tummy is part of the constructive criticism constituting a healthy relationship. Comparing you unfavourably with other women just means he is out to humiliate and insult you. Don't put up with it, honey. You are a very attractive woman, I am sure, and there are enough guys around to appreciate that.
Comparing you unfavorably to other women is a form of verbal abuse. It is meant to hurt you, to prevent intimacy, to exert control, to make your relationship unpredictable.
Abuse is about controlling the other person. What better way to control a woman than to chip away at her self-esteem by comparing her to other women.
Some examples:
- 1. Almost every time you go to a movie together he tells you how stunning-beautiful-breathtaking he thinks one of the actresses is (this example doesn't mean an occasional mention of an actress, this is ongoing, repetitive behavior). When he talks about the celebrity, he will overembellish - she's not just "pretty" she's "gorgeous". The less you engage, the more he will try to get you to agree with him. If you finally mention that this talk makes you uncomfortable, he gets defensive or angry, but the behavior never changes. Or, he will make a joke about it and dismiss your feelings. Think about it - if he wanted you to feel special, he would be saying telling you how beautiful you are, not fixating on Julia Roberts or Halle Berry.
- 2. When you are in a public place or at a restaurant together, he is frequently and easily distracted by attractive women. If you are talking he will break eye contact to look at the other woman. Sometimes he will actually turn his neck to watch her walk away. If you comment on his behavior, he will tell you that it's "nothing," or that "all men look at other women," or that you look at other men, even if you never or seldom act this way, or he will get annoyed with you for catching him at his "game".
- 3. He asks you to cut your hair like a certain actress or celebrity. This is usually someone that he has referenced before in other conversation. Instead of accepting you as you are, he is trying to change you. To see how ridiculous this is, imagine yourself telling him to color his hair like Brad Pitt's or style it like Nicholas Cage.
Another sign of this type of abuse is that if you bring up his abusive behaviors, he will tell you that you are being too sensitive - in other words he twists it around so that it's your problem, not his.
If he truly loved and respected you, he would change the behavior.
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
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You are 6 months pregnant with your abusive boyfriend's twin boys these will be your first children together you both have no outside children should you stay with him?
Not if he is abusive...physically, mentally, or emotionally. Those boys will eventually get the same treatment from him as you do, he can be the father...but that doesn't mean you can't raise them without him. Get out of that relationship before you or your unborn children are hurt. And if you can't see yourself without him...at least try. It never hurts to try, especially if he is already hurting you.
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It is estimated that about 22% of intimate partners are abusive.
Are some people abusive to certain partners but then not to others?
no they well be like that fot the rest of ther life Abusive people are abusive to whomever will allow it. They are elusive and once in their realm, they start abusing...not matter who the partner is.
How does a mother become abusive to her children?
a mother becomes abusive once she begins to harm her children, or put them in any sort of physical or emotional danger
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A high emotional intelligence is required for effectively dealing with abusive customers. The capacity to identify and react to others' emotions while controlling ones own is essential while managing a high tension conflict.
What are the possible reasons a woman would seek out a relationship where she is being controlled and why would she view that as love?
Usually women do this because it is all they know. Many women will pick partners that are abusive because they've had abusive fathers, etc.
Is a guy who constantly calls to complain about his health problems being emotionally abusive?
I'm not sure if it's a full-blown emotional abusive relationship, or even on the road to becoming that way, but I do feel taken advantage of him at times.
What type of woman does an emotionally abusive man seek?
An abusive man (emotional,physical, etc.) will seek insecure woman.Woman who are not independant. Someone to take care of their needs.And that is it, someone to satisfy their needs. An abusive man can not change, a woman can not change him. He has to change himself. He had to do it all alone, if he really wants to recover.I really wish all the ladies in abusive relationships strength. That is what they need to leave.
Where are there groups to help people in abusive relationships. Emotional abusive. living in fear where personal boundaries have been violated for years?
first family church in albuquerque has a program called celebrate recovery for lifes HURTS habits and hang ups What kind of group is it? male and female. Emotional abuse only? Are the couples still together? Do any couples have children?
How do women get in abusive relationships?
Most women who become involved with abusers were raised in abusive households -- as were practically all abusers -- and thus find the non-abusive aspects of an abuser's personality familiar and attractive. That is often because they unconsciously seek a person similar to one in their past in order to complete a "good" relationship. Then, as the relationship develops, both fall back into their old patterns. That is also why children of alcoholics often marry future alcoholics. Therapists call it "speaking the same language."Answer2: Unfortunately and not surprisingly, some grow up in hostile surroundings where emotional and physical violence were a normal part of everyday life.
Should you leave your alcoholic mate he only gets verbally abusive if you nag him?
Absolutely! The only reason why I am still with my alcoholic is because he is not verbally abusive even when I nag him... However, emotional abuse is still an issue in the end and it's about how long you are willing to deal with it. My 2 cents
Can emotional abuse turn physical how long does it take before the abuse gets physical?
Emotional abuse can sometimes escalate to physical abuse, but not all cases of emotional abuse lead to physical violence. The timeline for when emotional abuse may turn physical varies and is difficult to predict. It depends on multiple factors such as the individuals involved, the severity of the emotional abuse, and the underlying dynamics of the relationship. If you are experiencing emotional abuse, it is important to reach out for help and support as early as possible.
When dealing with an abusive boyfriend how can you tell the difference between standing up for yourself and using emotional blackmail or even becoming abusive yourself?
Standing up for yourself is simply saying that you will no longer tolerate abusive behavior, and backing it up by leaving it if does not stop. You cannot "deal" with abusers. If they refuse to get counseling, you need to get away from them. Untreated, abuse almost always gets worse with time.
