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That was my experience. I just was dumped by a boyfriend of 10 months. I am divorced over a year and met him four months after my divorce. I have two daughters, one with autism. This guy overwhelmed me with promises and love. After two months, he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and my special needs daughter. I came to love his two boys. Then after taking a "family" vacation with all the kids two weeks ago, he called me and said he had never loved me. Over the course of the relationship I found him to be a ridiculously jealous, ego-centric, hypochrondriac. Still there were moments of sweetness, especially as he was kind to my daughters. Interestingly enough, he preferred my autistic daughter because she worshipped him ( her dad is not good with her). Sometimes he would fly into rages over my talking to a waiter, etc, even my finding a movie star handsome, saying I didn't make him feel special. Then he would say I was abusing him. He always had to be right, considered himself smarter than everyone else. And I think tried to fake empathy, but it never seemed to have depth. He is a very responsible father but mostly courts his kids worship. He has a hard time disciplining them and talking to them personally because he wants them to see him as perfect. They are like little prototypes of him, still he is a good caregiver to them. Is he a narcissist? The way he left me was so sudden and detached. He does not wish to speak to me, and I expended so much energy trying to be so good to him. It was the promise to love my daugther that really hooked me. Do you think he knew that, or liked the idea of himself as being wonderful enough to love her? He has an enormous ego, is a fastidious dresser, and exercises constantly. I have since found out that he has a history of women he has suddenly left since his wife left him 8 years ago. I spoke to her and she said she felt he had no feelings for her, just like the "services" she provided. Still he wouldn't have left her, but was chronically unhappy with her. He told me he never fell in love with her, the same line he used with me and all the other women he has hurt. I was very vulnerable when I met him. MY Ex was emotionally abusive. Does he sound like a narcissist? Oh, yes, he also never wanted me to talk and say "I love you" during sex. Sex was great, but kind of mechanical. He would mostly keep his eyes shut and if I talked at all, he said I took him out of the moment. Kind of like he was doing it with himself. He told me in the past, he has had sexual dysfunction problems but it was because the women was untrustworthy. Anyway, when I called him on his coldness about the breakup, he said I was abusing him. He is just done with me, like a switch turned off. What do you think?

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17y ago
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12y ago

No. Narcissists see people as objects and they discard people when they are done with them liked used tissues.

They may try to recycle you weeks, months or YEARS later. Institute absolute NO CONTACT, get therapy and stay far away from them.

answer 2: No. You are an OBJECT to be used, discarded and replaced. They will quickly, if not instantly, find a replacement for you in time. My belief is that Ns constantly keep an 'active' pot of easily available stand-bys in case you dont work out or when they need more than their dose of supply from you. They are ALWAYS on the prowl for new readily accessible narcissistic supply. You will always be expendable.

Dont waste a moment of your precious life on this most useless of pursuits with such an abuser. BELIEVE ME, there are FAR better people out there.

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12y ago

Because they don't care about you. As much as you think they loved you or were into you they really couldn't care less. They don't have the ability to care. They honestly don't know how because there is a disconnect and no empathy exists. There's a hole where their heart should be.

Picture yourself as a fresh clean paper towel and the narcissist has just cleaned his muddy hands all over you and threw you in the trash. You were just an object. You have served your purpose and are no longer needed.

Most likely you are being ignored because they have found a new supply source and all of their time and energy is going to that new person. They are in "love" with the new supply. You have been forgotten (at least for now).

Consider yourself lucky to have been dumped.

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11y ago

Well it is not clear..after 10 years and many trials i dumped my N...first he was struggling and asking not to do that with him , when he noticed how determined i was , he started to offend the way am behaving and tried to devaluate me by attacking my behavior...told him to meet for a 10 min coffee cup ..with grandiosity he mumbled that hos coffee cup lasts two hours and that i cannot throw such a decision anyhow..blabla....now after 3 month...he still behave same ... Though no contact with him ...but can see he checks on me on whatsapp each two min if i don't open it for days ...when i do... He stops and act indifferently and even dont open it at all...i think twisted as they are ... There will come the time they will regret or wonder why u took that initiative..they are simply perfect and did nothing wrong ... They will come back...bewaree snd be ready...mine after teo years of relationship...split and xame back after six years tortured me for two bew years....he will be back when he runs out of supply

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10y ago

There is no definitive answer to your question since we do not know the parties involved. It could mean that you were not a good source of supply. Perhaps you thought too much of yourself to devote your life to the narcissist. Perhaps you were too strong and not nearly as passive and adoring enough to help the narcissist maintain their alternate reality. It could mean that the narcissist found another person or situation to exploit. Narcissists often move on to different pastures once their present group of contacts begins to recognize their lies and deceptions. Use the experience as a life lesson and if you didn't learn enough from the experience then read up on Narcissism so you don't make the same mistake again. The Mayo Clinic has a great website. See link.

There is no definitive answer to your question since we do not know the parties involved. It could mean that you were not a good source of supply. Perhaps you thought too much of yourself to devote your life to the narcissist. Perhaps you were too strong and not nearly as passive and adoring enough to help the narcissist maintain their alternate reality. It could mean that the narcissist found another person or situation to exploit. Narcissists often move on to different pastures once their present group of contacts begins to recognize their lies and deceptions. Use the experience as a life lesson and if you didn't learn enough from the experience then read up on Narcissism so you don't make the same mistake again. The Mayo Clinic has a great website. See link.

There is no definitive answer to your question since we do not know the parties involved. It could mean that you were not a good source of supply. Perhaps you thought too much of yourself to devote your life to the narcissist. Perhaps you were too strong and not nearly as passive and adoring enough to help the narcissist maintain their alternate reality. It could mean that the narcissist found another person or situation to exploit. Narcissists often move on to different pastures once their present group of contacts begins to recognize their lies and deceptions. Use the experience as a life lesson and if you didn't learn enough from the experience then read up on Narcissism so you don't make the same mistake again. The Mayo Clinic has a great website. See link.

There is no definitive answer to your question since we do not know the parties involved. It could mean that you were not a good source of supply. Perhaps you thought too much of yourself to devote your life to the narcissist. Perhaps you were too strong and not nearly as passive and adoring enough to help the narcissist maintain their alternate reality. It could mean that the narcissist found another person or situation to exploit. Narcissists often move on to different pastures once their present group of contacts begins to recognize their lies and deceptions. Use the experience as a life lesson and if you didn't learn enough from the experience then read up on Narcissism so you don't make the same mistake again. The Mayo Clinic has a great website. See link.

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10y ago

There is no definitive answer to your question since we do not know the parties involved. It could mean that you were not a good source of supply. Perhaps you thought too much of yourself to devote your life to the narcissist. Perhaps you were too strong and not nearly as passive and adoring enough to help the narcissist maintain their alternate reality. It could mean that the narcissist found another person or situation to exploit. Narcissists often move on to different pastures once their present group of contacts begins to recognize their lies and deceptions. Use the experience as a life lesson and if you didn't learn enough from the experience then read up on Narcissism so you don't make the same mistake again. The Mayo Clinic has a great website. See link.

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14y ago

Sometimes yes.

Sometimes they come back - do NOT take them back! No Contact!!

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11y ago

Yes. They "keep coming back" like a pesky gnat.

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Q: Do narcissists forget you after they dump you?
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