Do narcissists try to turn the tables when confronted?

already exists.

Would you like to merge this question into it?

already exists as an alternate of this question.

Would you like to make it the primary and merge this question into it?

exists and is an alternate of .

== =
yes! Anything they are accusing you of, they are doing themselves  
In the narcissist's surrealistic world, even language is pathologized. It mutates into a weapon of self defence, a verbal fortification, a medium without a message, replacing words with duplicitous and ambiguous vocables.
Narcissists (and, often, by contagion, their unfortunate victims) don't talk, or communicate. They fend off. They hide and evade and avoid and disguise. In their planet of capricious and arbitrary unpredictability, of shifting semiotic and semantic dunes - they perfect the ability to say nothing in lengthy, Castro-like speeches.
The ensuing convoluted sentences are arabesques of meaninglessness, acrobatics of evasion, lack of commitment elevated to an ideology. The narcissist prefers to wait and see and see what waiting brings. It is the postponement of the inevitable that leads to the inevitability of postponement as a strategy of survival.
It is often impossible to really understand a narcissist. The evasive syntax fast deteriorates into ever more labyrinthine structures. The grammar tortured to produce the verbal Doppler shifts essential to disguise the source of the information, its distance from reality, the speed of its degeneration into rigid "official" versions.
Buried under the lush flora and fauna of idioms without an end, the language erupts, like some exotic rash, an autoimmune reaction to its infection and contamination. Like vile weeds it spread throughout, strangling with absent minded persistence the ability to understand, to feel, to agree, to disagree and to debate, to present arguments, to compare notes, to learn and to teach.
Narcissists, therefore, never talk to others - rather, they talk at others, or lecture them. They exchange subtexts, camouflage-wrapped by elaborate, florid, texts. They read between the lines, spawning a multitude of private languages, prejudices, superstitions, conspiracy theories, rumours, phobias and hysterias. Theirs is a solipsistic world - where communication is permitted only with oneself and the aim of language is to throw others off the scent or to obtain narcissistic supply.
This has profound implications. Communication through unequivocal, unambiguous, information-rich symbol systems is such an integral and crucial part of our world - that its absence is not postulated even in the remotest galaxies which grace the skies of science fiction. In this sense, narcissists are nothing short of aliens. It is not that they employ a different language, a code to be deciphered by a new Freud. It is also not the outcome of upbringing or socio-cultural background.
It is the fact that language is put by Narcissists to a different use - not to communicate but to obscure, not to share but to abstain, not to learn but to defend and resist, not to teach but to preserve ever less tenable monopolies, to disagree without incurring wrath, to criticize without commitment, to agree without appearing to do so. Thus, an "agreement" with a narcissist is a vague expression of intent at a given moment - rather than the clear listing of long term, iron-cast and mutual commitments.
The rules that govern the narcissist's universe are loopholed incomprehensibles, open to an exegesis so wide and so self-contradictory that it renders them meaningless. The narcissist often hangs himself by his own verbose Gordic knots, having stumbled through a minefield of logical fallacies and endured self inflicted inconsistencies. Unfinished sentences hover in the air, like vapour above a semantic swamp.
In the case of the inverted narcissist, who was suppressed and abused by overbearing caregivers, there is the strong urge not to offend. Intimacy and inter-dependence are great. Parental or peer pressures are irresistible and result in conformity and self-deprecation. Aggressive tendencies, strongly repressed in the social pressure cooker, teem under the veneer of forced civility and violent politeness. Constructive ambiguity, a non-committal "everyone is good and right", an atavistic variant of moral relativism and tolerance bred of fear and of contempt - are all at the service of this eternal vigilance against aggressive drives, at the disposal of a never ending peacekeeping mission.
With the classic narcissist, language is used cruelly and ruthlessly to ensnare one's enemies, to saw confusion and panic, to move others to emulate the narcissist ("projective identification"), to leave the listeners in doubt, in hesitation, in paralysis, to gain control, or to punish. Language is enslaved and forced to lie. The language is appropriated and expropriated. It is considered to be a weapon, an asset, a piece of lethal property, a traitorous mistress to be gang raped into submission.
With cerebral narcissists, language is a lover. The infatuation with its very sound leads to a pyrotechnic type of speech which sacrifices its meaning to its music. Its speakers pay more attention to the composition than to the content. They are swept by it, intoxicated by its perfection, inebriated by the spiralling complexity of its forms. Here, language is an inflammatory process. It attacks the very tissues of the narcissist's relationships with artistic fierceness. It invades the healthy cells of reason and logic, of cool headed argumentation and level headed debate.
98 people found this useful

Should you confront a narcissist about the way he treats you?

If the relationship is over....leave it and learn from it and grow and fullfil you life without them. If you are still in the relationship....I would find it hard to conceive

Is a narcissist likely to return to someone who figured them out and is not afraid to confront them about it?

Narcissists are addicted to narcissistic supply (attention, admiration, adulation, being feared, etc.). They don't take well to criticism and disagreement. They are easily sli

How can you stop a narcissistic ex-wife from turning your daughter into a narcissist?

Answer . \nNarcissist is just a label and there is no law preventing it as long as your wife is not abusing your daughter. The best you can hope for is when you have your

Why do narcissists try to isolate their partner?

For the same reason cult leaders do. They don't want any "voices of reason" undermining their plans or their quest for control. They don't want any family members, friends, cl

Should you confront a narcissist?

yes u should Answer From a different perspective, why bother? All it does is give him/her an opportunity to be defensive and turn it all around against YOU again. You alrea

How do you deal with the anger stage of healing from a narcissist if you do not want to confront him?

\n. \n Answer \n. \nProbably the best thing you've done is to rethink going directly back to the source of your anger. Nothing that you could possibly need (apology, expla

How do you confront a narcissistic rage?

Answer How to deal with a narcissist. . First of all, remember the rage is not about you, it is about the narcissist. Everything is always about the narcissist. Once you op

How do you confront a narcissistic person?

With great difficulty. They become enraged, deny everything, call you a liar, turn everything around blame you and play victim. (Sob, sob.) The best you can do is learn from t

Can you confront a narcissistic mother about being a narcissist Can you let them know how narcissism damaged you?

If you want them to know exactly what gets to you and how to do it and how hurt you feel when they do it then go right ahead. Think about that before you allow the person who

Will narcissist try to get revenge if you hurt them?

Yes\n. \n By any means necessary \n. \nThey won't wait for you to offend them. They will INVENT offenses that never even entered your mind so that they can exercise thei

What happens when you confront a narcissist?

They go into a rage because they believe they are beyond reproach and will not accept any discussion or criticism or accountability for their actions. If they think you have t

How do narcissists handle being confronted about their narcissism?

They won't except it or even listen to you in the first matter, everything is all about them. Even if what you say is very true, a narcissist will take it personal and claim t