Do women who appear depressed and worthless on talk shows where the topic is abuse feel that it is easier to feel depressed than to show the abuser that she is not afraid of him?
They have been abused for quite a while and start to internalize it. Most abusers are verbal as well as physical abusers. They manage to convince their victims that it's all the victims fault, and that they disserve what is happening to them. By the time many of them $wake up$, they have lived with it so long and feel that they are so trapped that they become depressed at the thought that they will probably have no other future possible. You probably can$t understand it unless you$ve seen it happen to someone that you care about. It$s a great relief to see someone you care about finally kick the bum out and take control of her life again. Answer Stalkers and the Borderline Personality The Borderline Personality In recent years psychologists have learned about and done case studies on a new personality disorder which the DSM-III-R classifies as an Axis II disorder- the Borderline Personality . This classification includes such personality disorders as the Anti-social Personality, the Histrionic Personality and the Narcissistic Personality. Several psychologists (including myself) diagonosed my stalker as afflicted with the Borderline Personality. Characteristic of the Borderline (derived from research done by Kreisman & Straus, 1989) are: a shaky sense of identity sudden, violent outbursts oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection brief, turbulent love affairs frequent periods of intense depression eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone Not much research has been done on the Borderline Personality, and for many years it was difficult to diagnose- and to treat. A Borderline often feels as though his/her life is marked with a distinctive emptiness; a void in which a relationship often acts to fill. Many times the Borderline is a victim of an early dysfunctional family situation and/or emotional/physical abuse by those he/she trusted early on in childhood. The Borderline is psychotic , in the original, psychological meaning of the term: he/she is not in control and not in touch with reality. To the Borderline, a softly spoken word of advice can be construed as a threat on his/her emotional stability. An outsider's viewpoint that the Borderline is not in touch with reality often ends in a bitter and irrational dissassociation from the outsider on the part of the Borderline. Often, the Borderline ends up very much alone and victim to his/her disillusions. The Borderline stalker is very apt to see his/her actions as perfectly justified; he/she has paranoid disillusions which support these-often with disturbing frequency. The Borderline often has brief love affairs which end abruptly, turbulently and leave the Borderline with enhanced feelings of self-hatred, self-doubt and a fear that is not often experienced by rational people. When the Borderline's relationships turn sour, the Borderline often begins to, at first, harass the estranged partner with unnecessary apologies and/or apologetic behavior (i.e. letters of apology 'from the heart', flowers delivered at one's place of employment, early morning weeping phonecalls, etc.). However, the Borderline does not construe his/her behavior as harassment- to the Borderline he/she is being 'responsible' for his/her past behaviors. The next phase of the Borderline Personality develops relatively quickly and soon he/she feels suddenly betrayed, hurt, etc. and seeks to victimize the estranged partner in any way he/she can Strangely enough, this deleterious behavior is always coupled with a need to be near or in constant contact with the estranged partner . While sending threats to the estranged partner, it is very common for the Borderline to begin to stalk his/her estranged partner in an effort to maintain contact. This effort is motivated by the excruciating fear that the Borderline will end up alone and anger that [the estranged partner] has put him/her in this position. We are finding, in many cases, that a great deal of stalking behavior is associated with Borderline or related personality disorders. Earlier research did not incorporate the Borderline Personality in stalking profiles; research now is beginning to focus on the Borderline in such disorders as Erotomania, etc.
14 people found this useful
After you have left an abuser how do you get through the feelings of depression and embarrassment and humiliation and get on with your life?
I would suggest going to see a counselor or therapist. It can really help to work through things. Abusive relationships are traumatic. Many people suffer from post-traumatic …effects, such as stress and flashbacks. After the ending of my emotionally abusive (amongst other abuses) I found myself depressed, feelig guilty (like "what if" I would have done such and such as he wanted), ashamed of what I allowed to continue and happen and then finally angry for the abuse that occured in my life. My greastet dependancy (and I am not lying) is constant going to my Lord Jesus for strength. Not only that, but I also finally broke the "silence" (cuz silence is of the essense to the abuser) and told my church family, my immediate family, my friends and co-workers what I lived through. Each and every one of them (although some have been tougher on me than others) have been there for me and "knew" I was being abused. I have had to seek some counseling for the flashbacks and horrible verbage said to me for 2 years...but ultimately God has been my greatest support. Prayerfully seek Him and don't be ashamed of what happened to you. Your are not to blame for their behavior and frame of mind, so don't continue to believe that lie. Go to your friends...you'll be amazed at how supportive your friends will be even when the abuser tried to eliminate them from your life. You can do it!!!!!!!!! First of all, you need to constantly remind yourself that the abuse WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT. You need to remind yourself that you are a special beautiful person who deserves to be loved, respected and cared for. I know that breaking up from an abusive relationship is very hard but you can get through it one day at a time. Be with your friends and family, surround yourself with loving ,supportive people. Try new interests and pursuits, pursue an old hobby. Get out, meet new people and have fun! You deserve to be happy. And lastly, always pray for strength and guidance to help you get through this difficult situation. Take each day at a time and soon you'll see you're better.
Is it justifiable to be reading books on abusive men visiting abuse websites watching talk shows where the topic is abuse when things are going well as opposed to when the abuser is raging?
Answer . It's not a good idea to even entertain the thought of staying with an abusive man. Why are you bothering with all of the books and other efforts? RUN!
Do women who appear depressed and worthless on talk shows where the topic is abuse deep down feel that it is easier to feel that way than to show strength thus starting another fight?
Answer . \nDon't ever underestimate an abused women. They are not weak! Until one has walked a mile in their shoes none of us have the right to ever consider they are stu…pid or weak. It isn't as simple as walking out the door on your abuser. I suggest you read the "Teresa Suldana" story. She was an aspiring actress and left her abusive mate. To make a long story short he followed her and before a crowd of people in broad daylight stabbed her over 19 times! If it weren't for a male jogger going by and tackling the abuser, she wouldn't have survived her wounds. The fear abusers can instill in their victims is horrendous. They are constantly looking over their shoulder, afraid of conflict even when they have family or friends around for support because they have to go home with their abuser and suffer the consequences. There are numerous women in prison for killing their mate, and as far as I'm concerned they should be released! In fact, some are. \n. \nAbused women are depressed. They have been brain-washed and had their self confidence and dignity totally stripped from them. \n. \nWhat is the point of fighting with your abuser? Trust me when I say, if a woman, you won't win and you'll get the beating of your life or, the silent treatment that also reflects on the children as well (if there are any.) Sometimes the silence is the worst because the abuser is like a time bomb waiting to go off.\n. \nI volunteer for an Abused Women's Center and I admire these women a great deal. I've been to the hospital and seen some pretty terrible sights. Women who have had their throats actually cut (but thank God, they survived); blackened eyes, teeth missing, bones in their face crushed, not to mention ribs, arms, legs, etc., and that includes children and the elderly. \n. \nBelieve it or not there are a lot of men out there that are mentally and physically abused by their mates. Good men are brought up to not hit women and thus, an abusive woman can either brain-wash him into thinking he's useless, or she can kick, throw things at him, scratch, bite, and cause all sorts of problems for him at work. Men, in a way have it worse because how do you talk to your buddies and say, "I'm abused by my wife." Men are considered the stronger sex. So, the poor guy remains silent. There is help out there for them as well.\n. \nMerry Christmas\nMarcy
Are bodyguards available to accompany the victim after talk shows where the topic is abuse so that she can ensure that the abuser won't give her hell for what was said on the show?
Answer . Talk shows aren't the best place to discuss your abuser. Some talk shows will provide you with a bodyguard while at the show and perhaps escorted back to where yo…u are staying, but after that, it's no longer their responsibility. If you want a bodyguard service you will have to look them up on the website in your area, or, look them up in the yellow pages of your phone book.\n. \nIf you really want some help with the abusive situation you are in then contact your local "Abused Women's Center" and they will help lead you in the right direction. They will put you into a "safe house" (aka: Transition House.)\n. \n. \nGood luck\nMarcy
Do women who appear depressed and worthless on talk shows where the topic is abuse subconciously train themselves to act that way because it can save them from the abuser attacking them on camera?
Answer . It truly makes me amazed always, when I see people spilling their guts on a cheap talk show. Think of this ... What abused woman would go on a talk show in front …of millions of people and talk about her abuse right in front of her abuser? Unless you are watching Oprah (she does not pay the people that come on her show and it's a relatively honest talk show) or Montel Williams then the rest are junk and often a set-up. Many of the other shows with shouting matches and abusive language are set-ups. People DO get paid on these shows to make complete asses of themselves.\n. \nTo your question ... NO! Women are truly depressed after years of abuse and are terrified of their abuser, so I'd hardly think (unless they leave that show and have some arrangements to go to a "safe house") would they dare to tell their story, for that same woman would be going home with her abuser and all hell would really break loose.\n. \nAbusive women are not stupid (many smart ladies and famous ladies out there are abused) and they come from all walks of life and are from all different cultures and races. The abuser is a foxy chap, that hides his abusive nature well. He may often come off at the beginning of the relationship as this wonderful person who brings the girl flowers, gifts, and treats her like a queen, so later, when he has slowly, but slyly ripped away her dignity and self worth by beatings or verbal abuse, family and friends just can't get into their heads that indeed this jerk is an abuser.\n. \nPut it this way .. If a child came to you and said they were sexually abused or beaten would you turn a blind eye? I think not. So, why turn a blind eye to a woman that would speak up about her abuse? If you were beaten or mentally abused for years you begin to believe what the abuser is telling you and it's called brain-washing.\n. \nMarcy
depression can be caused by stress which is caused be not coping with everything.
Males and Their Feelings Many boys, as well as when they grow into men, are focused on other important things in life that when it comes time to exert time and energy on emot…ions find it troublesome and wasteful. Although it may be healthy to release built up emotions (both good and bad), doing so may hinder one's social status, friendships, and personal self worth. Unwritten Rules The moments of showing feelings should be limited to no more than one time per day and in the privacy of the home. In addition, it should also be during a time when energy is abundant and not when it is time for bed, or before an activity, or during a sporting event. When asking "How do you feel about..." or any other rendition of the question related to feelings must not be asked in such a way that it can be answered incorrectly my the boy or man. Suitable times periods for discussing feelings must be limited to 5 minutes, with the acceptable extension of an additional 20 minutes when a death in the family has occurred. When asking about feelings, the topic must be only asked once, and only once. There is no indefinite time period for this rule. For example, if the topic is regarding a troublesome experience while driving, this may never be discussed again. Once the feeling are expressed, this topic is closed. The acception to this rule if that the boy, or man, may decide to open the topic for discussion again. Answer B (Personal Point of View) It all depends on the guy and occasion. I'm a 18 year old guy who gets a tuff time opening to women because I've had terrible brack ups when a girl who I really like dumps me and after that I feel that if I open up emotionaly to a girl I feel vonarable and fragile, afrid to be hurt again by a girl or woman I like. It's pretty hard for us guys to say the truth about there feelings and emotions cause deeply when we feel and emotion we feel fragile to an exposer to a terrible feelings like; sadness, love-sick, melincoliny, ect. But we will never tell that to anyone too look like we're strong. Women usally say that they like a guy who crys, but women also say that the want to feel safe next to a guy, now my question to all women is; Would you feel safe with a guy who crys and sobs?
This is a very complex and difficult question. But the fact that you even ask the question is extremely important. Please, do not take what follows as "blaming the victim"…; that is not the intent. Stay with me. He wants her to stay around, because he is looking for proof that he is a man, and doesn't really need to abuse a woman to be a man. But the conflict is very deep, and doesn't ever get resolved . The conflict comes from an infantile wound, and he's dealing with it in an infantile way--- by playing it over and over . He isn't going to break out of this cycle. She wants him around because she is looking for proof that she is valued and loved. But like him, her wound is deep and goes back to a very early wound. The conflict for her is never resolved either, because she goes back to that child place, and plays it over and over, just like him. The question means that she is beginning to think. She is beginning to realize that she is stuck in a senseless cycle. She is waking up. He will never prove to her that she is valuable. He will only keep proving that she has to keep seeking proof . The child in her can't see any further. but the woman can, and she needs to get some help to break away. It's called brainwashing. It is a form of torture. Abusers repeatedly drill it into you that you are worthless, stupid, etc..often puncuated with threats and physcial violence. Abuse is about domination and control and an abuser exherts that over you. Of course this type of relentless message will affect you. The abuser gains control and domination over you. It is a form of brainwashing. Pure and simple. Prisoners of war have experienced such brainwashing and it is the same modus operendi. It is torture and it is brainwashing. The abuser is FORCING you to feel that way. Quite literally. In every human way possible. That is how you change someones mind and self-view...by inflicting psycological abuse, repeatedly. Thats what brainwashing is.
\nDefinitely go seek professional help. A psychologist or counsellor. You should go to your GP aswell, as you probably have depression, and he may put you on anti- depressants…. It sounds like you have alot of issues to talk about. The most important thing to realize is that help IS out there!! so much of it. Good luck with it all.
1. Sit down at a peaceful place. You probably should sit alone, because when you sit alone your able to let all your anger out. 2. Write a song expressing all your feelings. … 3. Listen to music. 4. Think positively about the future. 5. You should know that you have your family and friends and there people who love you a lot. 6. Play a sport that you really like. Playing a sport will help you to focus on winning rather than focusing on your sadness. 7. Read a comedy comic. This will help you to laugh and be yourself. 8. Watch your favourite TV show.
How does illegal Adderall abuse effect parenting How does it make you feel when your are depressed Does it help you not to think about your problems?
As far as parenting goes... I'm not too sure about that one. If you are taking your child's medication that's pretty $hitty of you, but otherwise I dont suppose it would affec…t your ability to parent, if not possibly increase it. It doesn't make you feel depressed when you are experiencing the drugs effects per se, but it will cause depression and anxiety upon withdrawl. It does in fact lighten your mood, make you feel a little bit better, give you increased energy amounts, and even decrease appetite, but don't forget it can become highly addictive.
Many times if you're depressed you feel lethargic tiered and hopeless. It depends on the severity but sometimes if you're depressed you don't even want to get out of bed. You …also don't find joy in things you used to. Depression can take out a lot out of you. If you suffer from depression frequently, I suggest you find someone you can talk to and listens to you.
I'm not sure whether you're looking for a textbook type answer or a personal experience, but i can give you some information on the latter. to keep things simple I'm going to …leave out the physical symptoms and focus primarily on the mental anguish. it goes without saying that depression sucks, but one positive aspect of my depression was that i did become more religious. a metaphore for what i felt is that depression is like being in an environment without gravity. no matter how hard you try to do something, regardless of how simple, you can't. something as trivial as changing your clothes seems impossible. some of my relationships deteriorated not only cause i felt lethargic, but also because in a alot of situations i did not know how to react/respond. i guess a simple way of looking at is like this: isolation + fatigue + hopelessness + suicidal thoughts. hoped this was the answer you were looking for and if not i apologize.
Abusive relationships make women feel insecure, alone, afraid, and devalued. They can also make a woman feel hopeless, helpless and sad. Other feelings can be angry, outrage…d and suicidal. Abused woman should seek help for the abuse they have suffered.
an emotional reck........... :) or even just trying to get attention.... its not always it just counts on the situation.... so ask another web site.... te-he
In Child Abuse
Depression is very common. It affects people of every age, economic situation, and race. Confronted with some of life's upsetting experiences - marriage breakdown, unemplo…yment, bereavement, failure of any kind - many people become depressed. A person who goes through experiences like that and does not get depressed has a measure of what in the psychiatric trade is known as "resilience". According to Manchester University psychologist Dr Rebecca Elliott, we are all situated somewhere on a sliding scale. "At one end you have people who are very vulnerable. In the face of quite low stress, or none at all, they'll develop a mental health problem," she says. "At the other end, you have people who life has dealt a quite appalling hand with all sorts of stressful experiences, and yet they remain positive and optimistic." Most of us, she thinks, are somewhere in the middle.
Make a list of everything that makes you happy, and people that make you happy. Eat sugar.