Do you get a 17 month old baby to sleep?

Answer 1

First answer:

Give the baby a warm bottle and rock them until they fall asleep

Another option:

It sounds like you're asking how to teach a 17-month-old baby how to go to sleep on his or her own, without you being there to make them fall asleep?

This answer is long, because teaching your baby to fall asleep a different way is a process that isn't simple. But it's possible for anyone who is willing to be patient and not give up.

This writer is a stay-at-home mom to four children, ages 16 months to 9 years, and two of my children have special needs. This is what has worked for us. Other people may agree or disagree with it, and that's fine.

Our family breastfeeds and co-sleeps with our children, so they initially start falling asleep while I nurse my children. They don't remember me leaving them, so there's no fussing. But when they're older and weaned from the breast, they must learn how to fall asleep on their own without being nursed, and since we choose not to start this when they're tiny babies, our children must be taught this when they're older. 17 months is a good time to start. Understand that you don't really "put a baby to sleep" -- no one "goes to sleep". What really happens is we relax enough that sleep can overtake us. It is helpful to stop thinking in terms of "Go to sleep!" because no one can *make* themselves sleep. It just happens when the situation is right. This can help you stay more patient with your baby as you both learn how to do this.

First, it will help you greatly if you can tell the difference between your baby's different cries. You should be able to tell the difference between angry cries and frightened cries, and cries from pain. If you can't yet, it's okay, it's easy to learn -- start listening for the differences through the day as your baby reacts to things. Knowing what kind of crying your baby is doing will help you while you teach her to fall asleep on her own, because you'll have an idea what she's trying to tell you. It can be very painful to listen to your baby cry but if you don't want to raise a brat, you're going to need to know which cries are just a temper-tantrum that should be ignored, and which cries are a genuine need that should be responded to. And if you have been raising a brat -- here's good news -- you can always change what you're doing and make things better.

As you learn, or if you already know her cries pretty well, start a nap-time and bedtime routine that you can use every time. The benefit to this is your baby will know exactly what you're doing, and will know what's expected of her, every day when you start. It helps to have a pretty tired baby when you start this. We feed them if they're hungry (because it's hard to fall asleep if your stomach is growling :) ), then we say "night-night" and sign it (by putting our palms together by our faces, like a pillow), potty our daughter, put on a diaper (while still saying "night-night" and signing for her), then lay down with her and sing to her while stroking her hair (or if she's in a crib, lay her down and sing to her. Don't sing to her while holding her, or all your wonderful attention ends abruptly when you lay her down, and you'll upset her worse). Then we say "night-night, I'll see you again when you wake up" and sign it for her again, and then we leave. Through this consistent routine she gets a pretty good idea that we are putting her to bed and it is time for her to sleep. Since we've done it this way for a couple months now, she knows I'm going to leave and that I will not come back if she cries. She cries anyway sometimes, but gives up and relaxes after a minute or two.

The first time we did this, of course she cried A LOT. Yours probably will too. Don't give up. When you walk out of the room, don't look guilty, because you don't want your baby to know that's how you feel! You're not hurting her, you're actually teaching her an important skill that will help both of you, so smile and stay calm and gentle. And don't stick around a long time, just go out of the room as though what's happening to her is no big deal. Because it really isn't.

Now you can choose how you'll react, and now is the time to discern those cries. If it's just anger, it could last 10, 20 or even 40 minutes. It could last hours, actually. The first few times you do this are the roughest, because it's a big change for both of you. If you feel like you *must* go in to comfort your baby, it's okay, because you're a loving mother and it is rough to change like this. Go ahead and go in smiling (walk, don't run), but do NOT pick up your baby. You can sit by her (she'll crawl into your arms-- don't let her) or just stand by her and touch her (preferable) and in a firm, but loving voice tell her she needs to go "night night", and sign it for her. Then leave again. She'll probably scream in anger even more, but remember, it's okay for her to be angry. Do your best not to get angry yourself, though -- this isn't her fault. It's not your fault either. It's just change.

If your child has a special blankie by all means let her have it. If she's attached too long, peer pressure will make her get rid of it when she starts Jr. High :) .

Now if your baby crawls out of bed, you can still do this, but you're going to get some exercise. Hold her hand and walk her back, or carry her back to bed, facing away from you (you can hold her close and lovingly, but don't snuggle her or love on her and reward her for getting out of bed). Tell her it's "night night" time and she must stay in bed, firmly and lovingly. Lay her down, say and sign night-night again, and leave. Do this as many times as it takes to make her understand that you mean it and will not change your mind, and it could last all day, literally. Remember, the first week you do this will be the hardest because it's such a drastic change, but it's not a harmful one as long as you stay calm. If no matter HOW often you take your child to back to bed, yet they keep getting out of it, you have the option of holding them down by laying beside them and putting your leg over their hips (not their stomachs, but on their hips). Expect a fight, but in time, they eventually give up. Just do not give in, or they'll learn that if they fight you long enough, they'll get their way. Since YOU are the parent, you must decide what the rules are and enforce them. I did have to hold down my first son with my leg on his hips because he fought staying in his bed so much.

If you have to stop the work to keep your child in bed and let them stay up, tell them why you have to leave so that they know they didn't win the situation by being naughty. "The phone is ringing and I have to answer it." tells her you have to take a break because of the phone, and that she didn't get what she wanted by crying and throwing a tantrum.

Do not give in to the temptation to have your child fall asleep watching TV every night. This is bad for your children's sleep cycles (staring at a bright screen before bed disrupts natural melatonin production in the brain, and melatonin is what helps your brain shut down for sleep naturally), it makes them NEED the TV to fall asleep (what will you do if the power goes out in a storm?) and it would be an act laziness on your part. Save it for emergencies when you can't give as much personal care, or when your child is sick and you need them to lay quietly. You'll be glad when you're children are older if you have already taught them how to sleep on their own without the TV on.