answersLogoWhite

0

Does a Narcissist ever feel empathy?

Updated: 9/7/2023
User Avatar

AlwaysLearning

Lvl 1
13y ago

Best Answer

Of course they do. All humans have emotions. It is how we choose to relate to our emotions that matters. The narcissist tends to repress them so deeply that, for all practical purposes, they play no conscious role in his life and conduct, though they play an extraordinarily large unconscious role in determining them.

The narcissist's positive emotions come bundled with very negative ones. This is the outcome of frustration and the consequent transformations of aggression. This frustration is connected to the Primary Objects of the narcissist's childhood (parents and caregivers).

Instead of being provided with the love that he craved, the narcissist was subjected to totally unpredictable and inexplicable bouts of temper, rage, searing sentimentality, envy, prodding, infusion of guilt and other unhealthy emotions and behaviour patterns. He reacted by retreating to his private world, where he was omnipotent and omniscient and, therefore, immune to such vicious vicissitudes. He stashed his vulnerable True Self in a deep mental cellar - and outwardly he presented to the world his False Self.

But bundling is far easier than unbundling. The narcissist is unable to evoke his positive feelings without provoking his negative ones. Gradually, he becomes phobic: afraid to feel anything, lest it be accompanied by the fearsome, guilt inducing, anxiety provoking, out of control emotional complements. He is thus reduced to experiencing dull stirrings, dim movements in his soul, that he identifies to himself and to others as emotions. Even these are felt only in the presence of a subject capable of providing the narcissist with his badly needed Narcissistic Supply.

Only when the narcissist is in the overvaluation phase of his relationships, does he go through these convulsions and convolutions that he calls "feelings". These are so transient and fake in nature that they are easily replaced by rage, envy and devaluation. The narcissist really recreates the behaviour patterns of his less than ideal Primary Objects.

The narcissist knows that something is amiss. He does not empathise with other people's feelings. Actually, he holds them in contempt and ridicule. He cannot understand how people are so sentimental, so "irrational" (he identifies being rational with being cool headed and cold blooded). Many times he finds himself believing that other people's behaviour is fake, intended to achieve a goal, grounded in ulterior, non-emotional, motives. He becomes paranoidally suspicious, embarrassed, feels compelled to run away, or, worse, experiences surges of almost uncontrollable aggression in the presence of genuinely expressed emotions. They remind him how imperfect and poorly equipped he is. They threaten him. Constant nagging by a spouse, colleagues, professors, by employers - only exacerbates the situation.

The weaker variety tries to emulate and simulate "emotions" - or, at least their expression, the external facet. They mimic and replicate the intricate pantomime that they learn to associate with the existence of feelings. But there are no real emotions there, no emotional correlate. This is empty affect, devoid of emotion. Being so, the narcissist fast tires of it, he becomes impassive and begins to produce inappropriate affect (remain indifferent when grief is the normal reaction, for instance). The narcissist subjects his feigned emotions to his cognition. He "decides" that it is appropriate to feel so and so. "Emotions" are invariably the result of analysis, goal setting and planning. He substitutes "remembering" for "sensing". He relegates his bodily sensations, feelings and emotions to a kind of a memory vault. The short and medium-term memory is exclusively used to store his reactions to his (actual and potential) Narcissistic Supply Sources. He reacts only to such sources. The narcissist finds it hard to remember what he felt (even a short while ago) towards a Narcissistic Supply Source once it has ceased to be one. It is difficult for him to recreate the emotions, which were ostensibly involved. In his efforts to emotionally recall - he encounters a void, draws a mental blank.

It is not that narcissists are incapable of expressing what we would tend to classify as "extreme emotional reactions". They mourn and grieve, rage and smile, excessively "love" and "care". But this is precisely what sets them apart: this rapid movement from one emotional extreme to another and the fact that they never occupy the emotional middle ground. The narcissist is especially "emotional" when weaned off the Narcissistic Supply drug. Breaking a habit is always difficult - especially one that defines (and generates) one's being. Getting rid of an addiction is doubly taxing. The narcissist identifies these crises with emotional depth and his self-conviction is so immense, that he mostly succeeds to elude his environment, as well. But a narcissistic crisis (losing a Source of Narcissistic Supply, obtaining an alternative one, moving from one Narcissistic Pathological Space to another) - must never be confused with the real thing, which the narcissist never experiences: emotions.

There is much more here.

Based on "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

(c) 2003 Lidija Rangelovska Narcissus Publications

The narcissist finds it hard to remember what he felt (even a short while ago) towards a Narcissistic Supply Source once it has ceased to be one. It is difficult for him to recreate the emotions, which were ostensibly involved. In his efforts to emotionally recall � he encounters a void, draws a mental blank.

THIS IS EXACTLY RIGHT! With the woman in my life, we went from being bosom buddies to, when I exposed her to people on the internet, her saying "You don't understand. Things will never be the same. They can never be like they used to be between us again...not that I don't want them to...it is what it is."

It's as though, now, when we talk, there is no familiar warmth that used to be there. It's cold, calculated, like she is examining me and figuring out how to fix me, but the old feelings of friendship that I thought I used to feel...it's like she forgot them LITERALLY!

User Avatar

Wiki User

8y ago
This answer is:
User Avatar
More answers
User Avatar

Wiki User

13y ago

That depends om how severe the disorder is. If you look at clinical signs that are present, most people with personality disorders, unless severe, will not fit all of them. So a narcissist could feel a degree of empathy for others. However, when it comes down to a choice between someone else's feelings and their own, they will choose their own every time. Empathy without action is pretty useless. They are also capable of feeling guilt - and this can be confused with empathy because they can present themselves however they want to fit a particular situation.

New Answer_I really don't think so...I think they fake empathy to lure you in when they need you for something and to make you believe they are good and trustworthy.My ex N kept that mask for a year and some them the cracks started to show,he got impatient ,could't keep it anymore i thought was because we were at different continents,he begged me to hurry up and be with him,idi,but when i got there,2 days later he dumped me,withdraw affection but didn't want me to leave...was sheer hell,i nnever saw somebody change in such short period of time,is just Horror movies stuff...Dr Jekill and Mr Hide is not fiction,i did live it! I don't think they feel guilty either,they just don't like getting caught ....Then they act out but normally they will try to blame somebody else saying that the person they hurt or molested caused them to do whwt they did,it is disgusting i saw this many times and i am glad i left this person.

This answer is:
User Avatar

User Avatar

Wiki User

15y ago

I had a relationship with a narcissist. We were together for 4 years. He left me for another woman and then after 5 years came back saying how he had missed me and my family. I was still so in love with him that I jumped at the chance to have him in my life again. He visited for several weeks, moved back in and stayed 16 days, then left me for the same woman. The whole time he was here, he talked about how his life sucked and he had not gotten where he wanted to be in life and he was unhappy with the woman he left me for. Well after being gone back to her for about 2 weeks, he stopped by one day to tell me he had made an mistake and the only reason he went back to her was because being there was a "habit" but he realized he really wanted to be back with ME. Well, he stayed 3 weeks. The last week he was here, I had a suspicion he had been with HER and questioned him about it. He flew into a rage and told me to quit questioning him about it that he was through with her. Well that weekend he went to work on Saturday and I did not hear anything again until he called me on Monday. He had HER car and wanted to come pick up his stuff at my house. This was after we had made plans to go to Michigan for Christmas to see his ailing mother that he was estranged from for years. Also, all my children had bought him Christmas presents. Again, the whole THREE weeks he was here, I heard about how his childhood was awful, how he was abused, how he hates his twin sister because she is a NARCISSIST - GO FIGURE!! NO - I DON'T THINK THEY ARE EVER HAPPY!!!

This answer is:
User Avatar

User Avatar

Wiki User

13y ago

Yes. Great big crocodile tears. If you know anything about crocodile tears, you'll run quickly in the other direction.

-------

If a narcissist is decompensated, usually after you break up with them (not the other way around) or they have lost a significant source of secondary narcissistic supply, then the facade can come tumbling down, and what is left is the despondent, depressed child that put up the narcissistic self so long ago. Then, they can shed very real tears, and they can be very forthcoming about "the facade" and how deep down they just want to be loved. But before you can bat an eyelash--usually a day or more, depending on how severe the narcissistic injury--the false self is reconstructed and the tears are gone, only now the narcissist will violently devalue you because you know what they are...

This answer is:
User Avatar

User Avatar

Wiki User

12y ago

no

This answer is:
User Avatar

User Avatar

Anonymous

Lvl 1
3y ago

No

This answer is:
User Avatar

Add your answer:

Earn +20 pts
Q: Does a Narcissist ever feel empathy?
Write your answer...
Submit
Still have questions?
magnify glass
imp
Related questions

Will a narcissist husband feel the guilt if you will be separated?

NO. Narcissists' brains have been shown to lack the capacity for genuine empathy & emotion. No matter what he SAYS he won't FEEL a thing


How can we reduce narcissist behavior?

Adding empathy and integrity to your character.


Do narcissists or people with PDs try to rekindle relationships even if they've been dumped?

A "true" narcissist will always, without fail, attempt to hang onto any relationship in which the narcissist gains "narcissistic supply." A "true" narcissist will not be deterred! They will do what it takes, say what it takes and follow-up with whatever actions are necessary to hang onto narcissistic supply. They will attempt to rekindle the broken relationship because they do not accept the fact that the relationship is over. If you respond in any manner...ie...phone calls, text messages, letters...etc...the narcissist accepts this as proof that he still holds some interest in your life. He will remain relentless in his attempt to gain any attention whatsoever from his supply...ie...you! You may find it flattering that someone seems so attached to you that they will do anything to keep you around, but just know that you are not a human being in the sense that we are human beings. People, to the "true" narcissist", are simply objects in which to gain the attention they so desperately crave. If you can accept that fact (and it is a fact) feel free to continue a relationship with a narcissist. However, if you ever wish to have a meaningful and intimate relationship, you should search out and find a healthy human being. The narcissist will always be a narcissist and there is nothing in the world that will change that fact. Nothing! It is unfortunate because, generally speaking, narcissists are talented, charming and successful people. They simply do not possess empathy or compassion for any human on the planet. Those emotions are not present in the narcissist nor will they ever become present. The part of the psychological make up found in normal-healthy minds is absolutely missing in the narcissist. EXAMPLE: If a person were born without legs, that person could have artificial legs attached. However, the artificial legs will never "grow" naturally. A person born without empathy or the capacity to love does have the ability to observe the behaviors of others who feel empathy and love. The narcissist can learn to mimick the behaviors of empathy and love. The narcissist will never have the ability to "grow" feelings of empathy or love. That simple!


Example of empathy?

When you feel empathy for someone you in a sence feel bad for them or feel how they feel.


Would a narcissist empathize with his victim?

No, they could care less what they do to you. They don't have empathy! They could care less what they do to you or how they hurt you.


How do you act with empathy?

Having empathy is knowing how someone feels, and acting accordingly. If you feel empathy toward someone who is sad, you are more likely to be nurturing and compassionate. If you feel empathy for someone who is happy, you are likely to crack a smile.


How would you define empathy in your own words?

to have empathy is to have the willingness to out yourself in the position of another person in order to feel what they feel


How does empathy make one feel?

Empathy is the ability to understand, perceive and feel another person's feelings. It's usually negative feelings like sadness, emotional pain etc. Without empathy you can not feel compassion.


What drives a narcissistic abuser?

Narcissist lack empathy lack of feeling heard our feeling sorry for them who are narcissist they feed on pitty the insecurity in relationship drive conversations regarding trust imagnine living it.


What is the meaning of the word empathy?

To be able to feel what others feel.


What is the difference being a narcissist and an introvert?

An introvert is turned inward and away from the world as a defence against abandonment and/or rejection.A narcissist is turned inward and away from the world also as a defence, but additionally, turned towards the love-object of the self.ADDITIONALLY:An introvert possesses empathy as any rational human being; a narcissist has no empathy and no capacity for developing empathy. A narcissist cannot experience compassion for another human being. A narcissist intellectually understands that empathy and/or compassion are true emotions that human beings experience and they do realize that these emotions do exist. A narcissistic person can never truly experience the emotions themselves.Example: A virgin intellectually knows (due to media and others personal testimonies etc.) that a sexual experience would more than likely be a gratifying one; However, the virgin cannot "know" how sex "feels" until they actually experience a sexual interaction themselves.Likewise, the narcissist is aware that the emotions empathy and compassion exist (due to media and others personal testimonies etc.) but they will NEVER know what it feels like to have these emotions. They lack the hardware necessary for these emotions to become realities for them. It is sad, really.


Why would a narcissist not want you considering that you were their main supply having got a four month contract job?

The narcissist only wanted needed you to supply their need at that time. Now they have the contract job they don't have a need for you until you have something else that they want that is when they will need you again. If you don't have anything they want to nourish their narcissist supply the have no problem writing you off and forgetting that you ever existed. They have no empathy RUN do not stay in contact with them they will destroy you.