Does marriage work when married at a young age?

Answer 1

There are two ideas at work here. First, what is "young?" and second, how do you define a "working marriage?" A young person can be defined by a) "legal age," b) in relation to another person's age, or c) in relation to one's own future. Assuming that you don't mean "legal age," then that leaves us with an age 1) relative to someone else's and 2) relative to one's own future. If you mean relative to someone else, then how "young" you are depends on the other person. Generally, when someone says, "they're too young to be married," that person means in relation to what he or she thinks is appropriate. Taking such advice should be based on your confidence in the source. An advisor such as Dr. Laura would certainly advise you to wait until 24 or 25 so that your own mind will be mature enough (in her opinion). If you mean relative to your own future, then how do you mean that? If you yourself think you are at a "young age," perhaps you have doubts already as to the appropriateness of marriage at this time. If you have some dreams which may be at stake, then you must measure (somehow) what you are giving up vs. what you are getting. As to what a "working marriage" is, there are many views. To a "young" mind, especially a female's young mind, a working marriage is somewhere between bliss and Heaven. This is a worthy goal, but is it attainable? Is it even desirable? Perfection is temporary at best, and those with experience know this as a fact. In that respect, being young means being inexperienced. Experience, however, doesn't always make us mature or wiser. Often, real life leads to disappointment. In this society of instant gratification, disappointment does NOT lead to a greater work ethic; it leads to surrender. In marriage these days, this generally means separation and/or divorce. The old ways of working through problems and accepting what you have are alien to the get-'er-done modern boys and girls. But perhaps you have more down-to-earth goals. Have you considered premarital counseling? This can be as easy as talking to a pastor, minister, rabbi, etc. He (or she) will ask you how you both view Spending Money, Saving Money, Sex, Children, In-Laws, Holidays, and more. There's no way to solve every issue beforehand, but if you have the major ones in agreement, you are more likely to succeed. Plan well. The question is, do young people have the fortitude, wisdom, and faith to make it work? After seeking wise counsel, you should have the answer. Good luck!