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Does wanting to get even with your narcissistic ex make you a narcissist?
Wiki User
∙ 15y ago
The idea of revenge is not trait exclusive to narcissists. The desire for revenge is actually a normal healthy response to injustice. It's a self protection trigger that indicates enough self love that you are aware your feelings are worthy of consideration. It must be tempered with the knowledge of the reality that life is not always fair, and not all people are "good". Generally the best course of action is to to greatful this person has shown you their true colors, so you know better than to cast your pearl before this swine in the future. Enjoy the revenge fantasies in your mind as long as they provide a source of comfort, but know that acting on them only keeps you engaged in an unhealthy situation. Narcissists are so deeply entrenched and committed to in their own denial that they are doomed to spend eternity as empty shells with no soul and no real emotional bonds with anyone. Be glad you escaped, and focus your energy on something positive that will have lasting value for yourself. (P.S. While only a qualified professional could diagnose Narcissism, i think asking if you are one is a pretty good indication that you are not, as a true narcissist would never entertain the possibility that they have a problem. They do not possess the self awareness to recognize the problem, nor the empathy to care if there is a problem)
Wiki User
∙ 15y ago
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Can ex make you a narcissist?
You can become narcissistic afterwards, but you will not turn into a true narcissist. Stay away from him and go back to your family and hang around them for a while.
Can a narcissist get his narcissistic supply from his teenage children?
This varies from person to person, but in general narcissists will take praise from whoever they can, which does not make narcissistic persons bad parents per se.
Is there a cure for narcissistic personality disorder?
Yes. Go onto: www.google.com Then type in: Treatment for Narcissistic Personality Disorder?" Don't be surprised to find that there is little help because Narcissists are not labeled "Narcissistic" without a good reason. They feel they are right and everyone else is wrong, so it's highly doubtful they would ever seek counseling and if they did they wouldn't believe what the counselor told them anyway. Few Narcissistic people are every helped and therefore it's difficult to really study a group of people that are narcissistic.
Is it normal behavior for a narcissist's parents to go along with whatever the narcissist tells them to do?
There are many cases where the Narcissistic personality is learned from their environment and perhaps one parent or both can be Narcissistic. No matter whether one is Narcissistic or not, parents will often back their children when it comes to different problems whether their children are right or wrong. Even some of my own friends with children in their late teens to their 20s will make up rediculous excuses for their child's behavior. To parents whether their child is 5 - 55 that person is still the parent's child. Unless this person has had a diagnosis from a professional you are second-guessing they are a Narcissist and they could simply be a spoiled brat, selfish, inconsiderate, moody, self indulgent or a plain pain in the butt!
What will make the somatic Narcissist single one person out of a crowd of people to be their supply source?
Narcissistic people are about control, so they will choose people who are shy, kindhearted (to a fault at times). Sometimes they just take that chance and pick anyone.
How does defaming an abusive narcissist in his professional life affect him?
Narcissists are addicted to narcissistic suppy. Narcissistic Supply (NS) includes attention, fame, notoriety, adulation, fear, applause, approval. It is a mixed bag. If the narcissist gets attention -- positive or negative -- it constitutes NS. If he can manipulate people or influence them -- positively or negatively -- it qualifies as NS. Even quarrelling with people constitutes NS. Perhaps not the fighting itself -- but the ability to influence other people, to induce feelings in them, to manipulate them emotionally, to make them do something or refrain from doing it. Based on my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" (c) 2003 Lidija Rangelovska Narcissus Publications
Does the narcissistic person know when she is lying?
Yes they do, but their game is to lie and make sure that you can not prove it, even if you can, winning gives them a feeling of power.
What are the chances of a narcissistic person getting better if they make an effort to get help?
I asked my therapist about this, and she said it's so rare for them to admit they need help, it is doubtful, although anything is possible. If everyone left them, and they were all alone and had no one shelling out Narcissistic Supply for them, it's a rare possibillity. In my ex-N's case, it is very doubtful because he's such an attractive man and has such a following of women and Narcissist supply, it's hard to imagine him being all alone. He'd just shun the one who labeled him a narcissist and run to get his adoration elsewhere.
Why is it painful for the narcissist to be ignored with indifference?
Narcissistic people are arrogant and the only right way is their way. To be ignored is painful for them because they need that constance debate with others to make themselves feel superior to others (everyone else in the world is stupid) to get through the day. Marcy
Are narcissists violent?
Pathological narcissism is a spectrum of disorders. People suffering from the full blown, all-pervasive, personality distorting mental health disorder known as the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - are, indeed, more prone to violence than others. Actually, the differential diagnosis (=the difference) between NPD and AsPD (Antisocial PD, psychopaths) is very blurred. Most psychopaths have narcissistic traits and many a narcissist are also sadists. Both types are devoid of empathy, remorseless, ruthless, and relentless in their pursuit of their goals (the narcissist's goal is narcissistic supply or the avoidance of narcissistic injury). Narcissists often use verbal and psychological abuse and violence against those closest to them. Some of them move from abstract aggression (the emotion leading to violence and permeating it) to the physically concrete sphere of violence. More about narcissistic rage here - The Iron Mask: Many narcissists are also paranoid and vindictive. They aim to punish (by tormenting) and destroy the source of their frustration and pain. Basically, there are only two ways of coping with vindictive narcissists: 1. To Frighten Them Narcissists live in a state of constant rage, repressed aggression, envy and hatred. They firmly believe that everyone is like them. As a result, they are paranoid, suspicious, scared and erratic. Frightening the narcissist is a powerful behaviour modification tool. If sufficiently deterred � the narcissist promptly disengages, gives up everything he was fighting for and sometimes make amends. To act effectively, one has to identify the vulnerabilities and susceptibilities of the narcissist and strike repeated, escalating blows at them � until the narcissist lets go and vanishes. Example: If a narcissist is hiding a personal fact � one should use this to threaten him. One should drop cryptic hints that there are mysterious witnesses to the events and recently revealed evidence. The narcissist has a very vivid imagination. Let his imagination do the rest. The narcissist may have been involved in tax evasion, in malpractice, in child abuse, in infidelity � there are so many possibilities, which offer a rich vein of attack. If done cleverly, non-committally, gradually, in an escalating manner � the narcissist crumbles, disengages and disappears. He lowers his profile thoroughly in the hope of avoiding hurt and pain. Most narcissists have been known to disown and abandon a whole PNS (pathological narcissistic space) in response to a well-focused campaign by their victims. Thus, a narcissist may leave town, change a job, desert a field of professional interest, avoid friends and acquaintances � only to secure a cessation of the unrelenting pressure exerted on him by his victims. I repeat: most of the drama takes place in the paranoid mind of the narcissist. His imagination runs amok. He finds himself snarled by horrifying scenarios, pursued by the vilest "certainties". The narcissist is his own worst persecutor and prosecutor. You don't have to do much except utter a vague reference, make an ominous allusion, delineate a possible turn of events. The narcissist will do the rest for you. He is like a little child in the dark, generating the very monsters that paralyse him with fear. Needless to add that all these activities have to be pursued legally, preferably through the good services of law offices and in broad daylight. If done in the wrong way � they might constitute extortion or blackmail, harassment and a host of other criminal offences. 2. To Lure Them The other way to neutralize a vindictive narcissist is to offer him continued narcissistic supply until the war is over and won by you. Dazzled by the drug of narcissistic supply � the narcissist immediately becomes tamed, forgets his vindictiveness and triumphantly takes over his "property" and "territory". Under the influence of narcissistic supply, the narcissist is unable to tell when he is being manipulated. He is blind, dumb and deaf to all but the song of the NS sirens. You can make a narcissist do ANYTHING by offering, withholding, or threatening to withhold narcissistic supply (adulation, admiration, attention, sex, awe, subservience, etc.). "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" Lidija Rangelovska Narcissus Publications
If a narcissist discovers you've been talking about them and exposing them and they email wanting to know why you have been attacking them is it better to express yourself honestly or ignore them?
i would express myself honestly and state or better yet explain why i said the things i have been accused of saying or if the accusation is false i would make sure i make the narcissist understand that he or she is making a false accusation. i will furthermore ask if what was said was true and knowing that my story is backed with facts, i will ask the narcissist to prove what he or she is saying is true or false.
Is it possible to show a narcissist up publicly?
It is possible to show up a narcissist publicly, but if you do, the narcissist is going to be very angry at you. It is not always a wise strategy to make enemies.
