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Abused Men

~500 answered questions
Instances of men being abused by their partner – physically, emotionally or even sexually – are as prevalent as women abuse. Unfortunately, many of these cases go unreported because male victims have to contend with social standards of men being the abuser.
Abuse cuts across cultures, societies, races, ethnicities, and social-economic demographics.But there is a profile of a "typical" abuse victim, based on worldwide statistics:Most abuse victims are women, young, uneducated, poor, and non-white.  Every type of women has been abused. It doesn't m…
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Literature on Abuse According to law enforcement statistics, women abusers - especially batterers - are far rarer than male abusers. As a result, most of the literatuire deals with men. Most of the "facts" are still the same. Same personalities, only opposite. Only it's even harder for a man to get…
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Note: Further stories and testimonials should be placed in the discussion section below. Of course they can. Consider narcissists, for instance: Narcissists attract abuse. Haughty, exploitative, demanding, insensitive, and quarrelsome � they tend to draw opprobrium and provoke anger and even …
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I think the man should separate from the woman...immediately. This is not to condone the rage or angry behavior (shouting?), but it seems to be an imperfect response to inexcusable behavior. It is a vicious cycle and is not good for either party. If it is early in the relationship and otherwise thin…
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No provocation justifies abusive conduct. The pattern you describe is known as "Projective Identification". Someone who has been treated as a victim in early childhood, may try to provoke the same behavior in his partner, mate, colleagues, friends, or spouse. This is the victim's way of "feeling at …
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Abuse is any pattern of injurious behavior repeated despite the protests of the victim and her explicit requests to stop.Preferring his family of origin to you can be injurious and, under certain circumstances - if done flagrantly and deliberaltely - is abusive.   My abusive ex boyfriend usua…
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first off im going to keep it simple, do not move on to a rebound too quickly allow some time for you to go out with your your girls D let love come to you and know that your special just that person wasn't right for you, however that doesn't mean that you wont find love. it will all happen in tim…
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There are literally hundreds of support groups for victims of abuse. Search Yahoo groups, Google, and the Open Directory ( http://dmoz.org ) for relevant links (type the keyword "abuse" in the search dialog box).Participate in discussions about Abusive Relationships - click on these links:<A href…
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Co-dependence is a mental health problem that requires professional help. You cannot overcome it all by yourself. I know exactly what you are going through. it was so hard for me. and im sorry you are in this situation. just tell him to leave and if he refuses pick up the phone and tell him you ar…
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I will never say anything is impossible. I will say...most people don't change too easily. Abuse of a spouse is a power thing...and the desire for the same level of power will always be there. Once someone has crossed the boundaries into the disrespect it takes to abuse someone else...it's very hard…
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Answer When someone who has been in any type of abusive relationship and they do not seek psychological counselling they will never get over it. She is full of rage and anger at the previous person and had absolutely no control to stop it. What she doesn't know is she has stopped it to a degree, …
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I have been abused by my husband and I have a wonderful support system. Although, we have been separated/divorced for almost 2 years now...I still think about going back and I'm not sure why. I think it has to do with the fact that I hope and wonder if he will change because I still do love him. M…
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Answer I am into some pretty strange things, but this one always gets me. If you really insist on doing this, start out with just the two of you in the bedroom and ask her bring an imaginary strange into the room. Go from there and see how far she'll take it. Play it by ear as to the sex of this …
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It's only been in the past few years that the battered male syndrome has gotten serious attention. The latest percentage of battered men was placed at approximately 36% or roughly 835,000 of the 2.3 million abuse cases reported yearly. Researchers believe that those figures are far from accurate for…
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Answer The answer is pretty simple: LEAVE !!! Do you think that it will get better? It won't! Do you think that she will stop after the baby is born? SHE WON'T! I promise you that you will end up in jail either falsely accused, or because you finally "lost it". Plenty of guys pay…
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Verbal abuse is when someone hurts you with their words, saying mean things intentionally. Calling you bad names, demeaning you, putting down something you do, how you act, flaws about you, using their words to make you feel worthless, manipulate you, and keep you feeling bad. Some people say that t…
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Answer Women are a very difficult concept to understand, i say that being one myself, but it is true. A woman that return to an abusive husband are not easily able to let go. Its hard to leave a loved one that may have cheated on you, and same goes for a loved one hitting/beating you. Love can be…
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Yes. Love does not ever cause physical pain. Abuse is a control issue, not a love matter. even if the abuser gets treatment, it can be a progressive disease. Nobody deserves to be abused and nobody should stay in an abusive relationship. Love cannot heal this problem.  It is a guarantee, not a…
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Answer That's simply not true about the laws. There are Abuse Centers and many of them have programs for abused men. There is much talk of abused women on this site (because there are simply more women abused) and seldom did men come out and talk about their abuse, and I'm proud you did! Most p…
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On TV, it seems really funny. In real life, it is hurtful, annoying, and frustrating. It can be abusive if it is constant and there are insults added to the nagging.   'Nagging' is mainly about reminding people to do things that they ought to do. If it's agreed in your household that you mow …
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Answer I am in exactly the same position. My father's abusive, controlling, and aggressive behavior has alienated him from all family. He has no friends, and he never has had any friends. He loves to push people into arguments. But that's not all he pushes. He is physically and verbally abusive. …
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It really is best that you separate while he is getting counseling. Abusers are about control and you've been his victim, so things aren't about to continue. When you remind him of his abuse he considers the fact that YOU are getting the upper hand and he'll have none of that.Talk to him and tell hi…
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While it's normal to have your own "hot buttons", it's not normal to threaten people, no matter who they are. Many of us overreact to criticism when we're feeling anxious or maybe even when everything is going ok. The part that isn't normal is to become threatening. Perhaps it would be best to lear…
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As you know, you cannot fix her problem and live your life safely. Six months to your move date seems like eternity. You can start working toward your new life, by slowly separating your affairs. Put all of your personal papers in a safe place outside of your home (safety deposit box?). Set up a P.O…
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First off not all men are abusive. Those that are have had the problem for a very long while. They are chameleons and when you meet them you would never guess that they have an abusive nature until you fall in love and start seeing more of them and then the signs gradually creep up in a sneaky w…
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Maybe to her, any anger is threatening and she is letting you know that she won't put up with it. If you don't like her acting like that, leave. Get a divorce and start over. If she FEELS threatened, she's entitled to ask for police assistance. If you've been physically abusive, even once, she has …
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First go see an attorney. Wherever you are, you have parental rights and abuse is wrong. Start documenting all abuse. Find witnesses ect..The emotional damage to the children is your main concern. Get help now! The abuser(men or woman) will not stop on their own.
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Answer Telling someone how you feel is not a bad thing. Listen to how they feel about things as well. If someone says that maybe you should leave it might be a projection as to how they feel about themselves. Answer One cannot expect circumstances to change without doing something different. …
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Answer You have to be really serious and tell him what you think.Don't hold back in this matter. I think so too. but if that doesn't work, just kill his girlfriend. That one will always work.
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You know which words and behaviors will get a certain reaction from the other person. When you are angry or in a retalitory mood, you seek to hurt or antagonize each other, and past fights have shown you both how to achieve this.Such triggers are destructive not only to your self esteem, but to your…
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These people may appear to choose to suffer in silence, but it is not as it seems. Remember that the victim's confidence and "ju ju" may be low after constant abuse over time. Often, they are isolated from family, friends and anyone else who could help them because their abuser limits their activiti…
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Yes, I would say yes. I would say that the N would devalue his victim more severely if he has more of an attachment to her. I broke up with my N in the first place and he devalued me hardcore. I think it made him feel better for the "reject" in his eyes. Answer Depends on the narcissist and the…
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Well, because that's an uncomfortable precursor to touch in that area it will remind the individual of the experience. Most people men and women getting a rectal exam are tense and on guard because of the privacy of the issue. It is not uncommon to have stimulation because of the sensitivity in the …
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Because they want to have sex and then they leave them pregnant and then go to their next victim. Men do this because they want sex to leave women pregnant and leave them all happy. This happens to 95% to these women and 5% get hit by their husband.
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Yes. Some women may feel like their FtM partners are more sensitive to their needs and preferences as women while still being masculine. Others may find FtM partners less physically threatening than cismen, and still others like the "support role" of having a partner going through medical and psych…
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Teachers in love...Depending on what grade you are in and how your feelings are towards them, you should never date another teacher if you are their student. Its innapropriate and could get in the way of your school work. Once you leave their class and/or graduate, it would probably be acceptable fo…
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because they don't think they do then thae do something not right and don''t realize it until they had do something stupid just like some movies
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easy what's the classic way of making a guy jealous... this does of course depend on if you have gone out with him and he dumped you or make a guy jealous like in a hard to get way. if he dumped you just go out with another guy and like still be friends with him so you can talk about having another …
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It depends. If they hit you, and you hit them back, you could claim it was in "self defense", whether it was or not. It's generally better to avoid hitting them back and instead disable their arm in a lock or something.
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It was very interesting short story. Relationship is dependent on each other that is how it is evaluated.
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Answer If you are talking about another female, outside the marriage, he needs to be the one to take the bull by the horns, in this case the cow, and let her know that what she is doing is unwelcomed and unwarranted. You as his spouse need to support him, in every way. If she doesnt get the hint …
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If you can only get the attention of the man your with by jealousy then it sounds like he is not a keeper. That is not a hurdle you deserve to go through. If this is a relationship you need to keep like marriage, then try try try communication. If he respects you he will listen to you, voice your co…
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Answer You're kidding, right? Girlfriend, you need to get a life and be quick about it. If you're supporting this riff raff and he's emotionally abusing you for it, he needs help that you can't give him. Kick him to the side and get a little counseling for yourself to help your self esteem. Goo…
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Answer LEAVE HIM!!! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT. Answer Well, you let him know once and for all that this type of abuse will not be tolerated and if he doesnt stop on his own or get help, you will go the next step because you deserve to be treated better. He can think what he wa…
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If you really love and like her, inside and out, just show her that and tell her how you feel. If she doesn't like you as much as you like her, just respect that and keep searching for the right one. To get a really submissive woman to like you, you must be gentle, honest, trustworthy, dependable a…
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Sure there are. Go to google and type in pictures of abused woman.
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I believe if h truely loves you, you will be able to tell. But another way is if he starts acting better like aroun you.
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love is something that ages 16 and up should be so you can drive but don't drink and drive and don't get distracted bu anything evne your girlfriend or boy freind
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If you've been exposed to narcissistic abuse in childhood, you're more likely to end up with narcissistic partners if you haven't worked through your abuse. Adult Children of Narcissists (ACONs) have a number of issues to resolve.
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AnswerSexually addictive men certainly need to seek counseling. It's like gambling or being addictive to drugs or alcohol. It's serious because it can interfere with the man's family (if he has one) and create cheating or at the very least breakdown the core of his relationship with his wife or girl…
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smart Gay  Answer: Feminist
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I think people who verbally abuse others just have deeper issues themselves. It either stems from the way they were brought up or situations that have occured in the past that they can't deal with properly. I was seeing a guy once who always verbally abused me. He would snap at the slightist thing.…
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if your boyfriend hits you you need to alert someone now
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Only in California.
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To get your wife to shut her mouth, you will have to tell her that you are very unhappy with the way she talks to you, and that if she continues to do that, you will have to divorce her. And furthermore, you must be prepared to carry out that threat, once you have uttered it, otherwise you will prov…
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we have the rights: ~ job opportunities. ~ freedom of speech, religion, and ownership. ~ education.
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Answer you cant make someone love you so dont even try to. dont ask or anything.so just spend alot of time with them. ------------ Not even the genius of alladin was able to..
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A cuckold is a married man whose wife is sexually active with other men without his knowledge or consent. So you become one through the action of others, although your choice of partner and your behavior in the marriage might have some impact on it. The word "cuckold" is also used in BDSM fetish t…
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Answer that is when lets say you have depression and are suicidal and some person is way rude and uses your weakness to their advantage. or abuse that damages you in the way you think... Emotional abuse is the cornerstone of all the abuses because emotional abuse is always present during phy…
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I HAVE FOUND THAT A FIRM HAND DOES HELP AND IS NOT ABUSE MY WIFE HAS FOUND THAT SHE FEELS ALOT BETTER WHEN I SHOW HER WHAT SHE HAS DID WRONG WITH A FIRM HAND, AND SHE DOES NOT CALL IT ABUSE! SHE EVEN THANKS ME Did someone erase my first answer?You don't have to use all caps, unless you're blind.G…
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No, they are generally more quiet and submissive and its more males (sons) in the family that will follow their father's traits towards their mother. However, if a daughter has been sexually abused by a father or male relative they can become abusive (man haters) and have a great deal of rage left i…
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Walk out and report him to the police! There are organisations where you can get support. If the 2 of you want to try again the both of you will need counseling, both together and separate. I know you love him but he has no respect for you and wihtout respect there is no love. In the future you migh…
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ANSWER:I have observed this question on this page several times. There is really no such thing as "normal psychology." There are several forms of abnormal psychology and issues of mental illness however, this does not appear to fall into that category.Apparently someone has been hurt rather badly by…
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If he physically threatens you, go to the police if you're an adult. If you're a school age person, tell someone at your school so they can keep you safe.
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Honestly, there should be no reason why you would want to die. People say its because their depressed, have no family, lost their job, and all that. But really, you should be thankful for what you have. For one, you're alive, you're breathing, you're in America (hopefully), you have hands and feet o…
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That is just silly - that ketchups are there for our use and there is no stipulation on how many one may need. You may need to rethink your relationship and move on.
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Yes, I agree we all need to vent once in a while and slamming a door is one of them, probably one of the most common ways of letting our anger out and putting an end to a fight that is getting out of control - or out of sight. I believe your wife is going through a stressful period of her life and …
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They may have just returned it because they thought you would like to have it back and they really don't need to have it or want it.
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The term femdom can be used to mean a dominant female, or a dominatrix.
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You are going to have to speak with her concerning how this behaviour makes you feel if you want to continue being friends and due to her demeanor she may not be very happy with this conversation which you may need to leave right away. This is not a healthy relationship and if she is not willing to …
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Justifying or finding ways to excuse abuse just gives the abuser more power. There is NEVER any justifiable reason for abuse. If you're angry, walk away, if you're hurt, collect your thoughts and state them calmly or write them down. Even if someone hurts you, abuse is not a justifiable act. Some pe…
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AnswerThere is no definite way to answer your question as there are no stats kept on such matters especially verbal abuse, as it's not a crime to verbally abuse somone. As for the physical abuse, Police departments who have files on these matters don't release them to the public at large. And a lot …
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Yes, they were, women in higher classes had more privilage and women of lower classes had less.
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You need to leave him and make the declaration that you have left him public. If your boyfriend needs to know your whereabouts constantly he has either serious self-image issues which will manifest in other ways and/or is obsessively controlling. Whatever you might fear about rejecting him, you need…
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Answer It sounds like you are angry about the way you have been treated, and that may well be understandable. At the same time, your rage will only hurt you. Just because you did not address the rational issues does not mean that you are shallow. It means that at some level (probably unconscious) y…
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Yes, if you couldn't be charge for it afterword then what kind of country would this be?
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Immediately tell your parents or another trusted adult and then call the police to report the incident. Do not hesitate to report this incident. It is a crime to assault another person. If not for yourself, please help protect any future women who may come into a relationship with this idiot.  …
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This answer varies as you look at different cultures and countries. All I can tell you is that 75% of the women that die from abusive partners, die after they leave this person, as it sets the abuser off and makes them feel like they have lost control.
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physical abuse verbal abuseputting you under pressureemotional abusefor signs of it: constantly checking to see where you are, not wanting you to hang out with friends of the opposite gender, wanting you to check in with them constantly, saying you are not allowed to do something, not wanting you to…
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You didn't give us much information to go on. However, it is up to your parents to decide what they are going to do with their 18 year old daughter. You could suggest holding a family conference without your sister present and you or other siblings in your family could express their views to your pa…
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I'd be more inclinded to find out all I could and be positive before making any judgments and if she was I would find a way of leaving her. Read the online pages"what makes narcissists tick and buy Sam Vaknins book on Malignant Narcissism. She would probably project it back on you anyhow and might a…
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A major sign is that he would not ask or listen to your opinion. He would not spend quality time with you. He would not seek out activities that you would enjoy. He would not be thankful for your contribution toward the partnership.
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Social acceptance is important to individuals because people want to feel like they are liked. People want to feel a part of something and like they are included within a group.
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Unless you have absolute proof then calling anyone a liar is a serious thing and goes against the character of that person. If you have proof and have caught your spouse lying then he's angry because he is cornered and you've basically caught him off guard.The only option you have is not to get into…
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weakness in the articles of confederation
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From the beginning of time the man was the protector of females and children and not much has changed today with the exception women are playing a stronger role in society and men feel like they are playing second fiddle to them. It all started with women fighting for their right to vote and Women's…
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The biggest mistake most people make when someone abuses them is not report it to the police. Even if the police do little the report is there and evidence should you go to court or retain a lawyer.Even if your wife hit you first as a man you had no right to hit her! You are stronger than she is. Yo…
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The most obvious answer would be to spend some time with somebody that you like or get on well with. Unfortunately, this is not always an option and loneliness is something that every one of us has experienced at one point or another. Some people watch television, others listen to a radio; and some …
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If this were the case then 75% of Americans would be staring through bars. Most couples get into heated arguments and both of you need to learn some communication skills. By doing so you should, as two adults talk out your problems, try to resolve them and move on. If one or both of you has a temper…
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she shouldn't really forgive him it take so much time to forgive & forget.because you'll always remember what he did to you so its so hard to forgive & forget.but if you love him so much try to work things out slowly but, surely so your not rushing. just to forgive him not be an excellent ch…
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A person's spouse could become unresponsive for a variety of reasons. That person may be traumatized from previous abuses they suffered, or they could just be tired or feeling unwell. It is best for the spouse to see a doctor, who can then diagnose the cause of the unresponsiveness.
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Hateful means full of hate. And hate means to feel intense or passionate dislike for something or someone.
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Probably. If a guy hits once, he tends to hit againa and again. ANSWER I would not give him the chance to hit you again. I would leave, run, drive, as far away as I could, file charges and never talk to him again or even listen to what they have to say. The first time a guy hits you it is not your…
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Instead of getting to the root of your wife's problem you have only ended up being an abuser as well and it's called 'verbal abuse.' Tempers flare and I can see why your temper did. However there are some causes for reactions from a wife:Take a good hard look at yourself first and see what other pro…
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Ronald "Butch" DeFeo was a heavy drug user who had financial problems due to his habit. He also had ongoing issues with his parents, especially his father, due to his drug abuse and prior violent behaviors. There apparently was a great amount of tension and arguments in the DeFeo household; Ronald …
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Who knows what goes through a humans mind, but here are a few reasons:Life InsuranceRage because he may have been cheating or may be leaving the marriage.If the husband is physically or mentally abusive to her. There is a point where everyone can crack one way or the other.If she has a lover and fee…
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Absolutely none! Narcissists think they are more intelligent than anyone else and they delight in baiting their victims (generally their mate.) They are often arrogant, will put down their mate and make them feel stupid and not at par with them in the intelligence bracket. They enjoy their own life …
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I'm sorry but I find the answer below extremely offensive and whom ever wrote it obviously has a strong veiw on this matter but no personal insight to it, abuse victims don't need to be told they are sick! That is what their partner tells them every time they get abused and can actually used by thei…
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A narcissistic person is someone who prioritizes himself above anyone or anything else. Of course, a good amount of self-love is vital for one's self-confidence and survival but a narcissistic invidual just goes beyond the borders - where he or she becomes inconsiderate for others in order to priori…
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Most women who have managed to escape an abusive lifestyle with their partner work hard at leaving their abuser, getting counseling and putting their life into some sort of perspective so many refuse to come forward because they can't bare the memories or are ashamed of what they have put up with.Be…
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