What would you like to do?
Victims of abuse suffer from many conflicting negative emotions: helplessnes, rage, self-chastisement, guilt, and so on. There are such a wave of emotions that …an abuse victim go through after the relationship ends. For myself personally, being a believer in Christ, He bore the emotions I sustained and surpressed during my abusive relationship. I honestly don't know how I could have gotten through those emotions otherwise.
If you tell your ex narcissistic partner you are sharing the story of the abusive relationship with everyone how will that effect them?
It probably depends on who you tell and the repercussions. Otherwise, my sense is it won't matter much. Depending on the level of skill you narcissist ex has, they've already …maneuvered to his/her own version of the story. The real point is, though, that they have no conscience, no ability to empathize and know that there are endless sources of the supply they need from a host of damaged people who can be duped. And, ultimately, that's why they don't need to look back. The people they can't con are the ones they'll no longer talk to, anyway. I don't mean to hurt you when I say that. I am so sorry for what I imagine you've been through. And I strongly encourage you to tell your story. Those who don't believe are not worth the relationship. Those who get it will likely end up being some of your truest friends. Something the narcissist will never have.
Answer Probably because you're finally realizing that what your abuser was doing was so manipulative and wrong- that they were basically using you as a rag doll. … I've been out of my abusive relationship for a month and a few days now and I still feel that rage. Answer Stalkers and the Borderline Personality The Borderline Personality In recent years psychologists have learned about and done case studies on a new personality disorder which the DSM-III-R classifies as an Axis II disorder- the Borderline Personality . This classification includes such personality disorders as the Anti-social Personality, the Histrionic Personality and the Narcissistic Personality. Several psychologists (including myself) diagonosed my stalker as afflicted with the Borderline Personality. Characteristic of the Borderline (derived from research done by Kreisman & Straus, 1989) are: a shaky sense of identity sudden, violent outbursts oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection brief, turbulent love affairs frequent periods of intense depression eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone Not much research has been done on the Borderline Personality, and for many years it was difficult to diagnose- and to treat. A Borderline often feels as though his/her life is marked with a distinctive emptiness; a void in which a relationship often acts to fill. Many times the Borderline is a victim of an early dysfunctional family situation and/or emotional/physical abuse by those he/she trusted early on in childhood. The Borderline is psychotic , in the original, psychological meaning of the term: he/she is not in control and not in touch with reality. To the Borderline, a softly spoken word of advice can be construed as a threat on his/her emotional stability. An outsider's viewpoint that the Borderline is not in touch with reality often ends in a bitter and irrational dissassociation from the outsider on the part of the Borderline. Often, the Borderline ends up very much alone and victim to his/her disillusions. The Borderline stalker is very apt to see his/her actions as perfectly justified; he/she has paranoid disillusions which support these-often with disturbing frequency. The Borderline often has brief love affairs which end abruptly, turbulently and leave the Borderline with enhanced feelings of self-hatred, self-doubt and a fear that is not often experienced by rational people. When the Borderline's relationships turn sour, the Borderline often begins to, at first, harass the estranged partner with unnecessary apologies and/or apologetic behavior (i.e. letters of apology 'from the heart', flowers delivered at one's place of employment, early morning weeping phonecalls, etc.). However, the Borderline does not construe his/her behavior as harassment- to the Borderline he/she is being 'responsible' for his/her past behaviors. The next phase of the Borderline Personality develops relatively quickly and soon he/she feels suddenly betrayed, hurt, etc. and seeks to victimize the estranged partner in any way he/she can Strangely enough, this deleterious behavior is always coupled with a need to be near or in constant contact with the estranged partner . While sending threats to the estranged partner, it is very common for the Borderline to begin to stalk his/her estranged partner in an effort to maintain contact. This effort is motivated by the excruciating fear that the Borderline will end up alone and anger that [the estranged partner] has put him/her in this position. We are finding, in many cases, that a great deal of stalking behavior is associated with Borderline or related personality disorders. Earlier research did not incorporate the Borderline Personality in stalking profiles; research now is beginning to focus on the Borderline in such disorders as Erotomania, etc.
Because were unable to change the situation you feel like a failure, when it wasn't your fault. Because he did a good job making you feel guilty in the relationship as …though his abuse was your fault. Even if he admitted it at times that it was his fault and that he was sorry he was not genuine. He was only trying to futhur manipulate. So with that kind of treatment it only makes sense that the guilt would continue when you leave. You have taken far too much repsonsibility for a parasites behaviour. Once you become stronger you will reach a point where you think I dont care if what I did that time or this time was wrong I did not deserve to be abused! In time you will be able to put in more in perspective. Unfortunately, this is a common effect on the victim of the abusive relationship and is part of what is commonly called "battered wife syndrome." The victim of an abusive relationship will, before finally giving up and leaving the relationship, blame themselves and have an immutable and unhealthy hope that the relationship will get better, perhaps if they are a better person and lover to their abusive partner. When they finally can motivate themselves (or have a friend help them to finally act) to remove themselves from the abusive relationship, this transmutes to feeling of guilt for giving up when they could have worked at it to make the relationship better (even though they may rationally realize there was nothing they could do to save it, and the relationship was not healthy for them).
Answer I thought I answered this before but I don't think it posted. You can't sue a narcissist unless the lies caused you to lose mo…ney or property and you can prove it. Exceptions would be suits involving divorce or custody. Its nearly impossible to sue for mental anguish anymore. ~ T Answer Hi, If physical abuse was involved in your relationship, then you can report him to the appropriate authorities or Police. But apart from that, I'm not sure what else you can do. Hopefully someone else may be able to help you a lot more than I can. Good luck. General point It is often quite impossible to prove what happened and what a partner said in the privacy of your own home.
Emotional abuse can be grounds for a lawsuit and can potentiallywin if the behavior is deemed as "outrageous", extreme. A toughcase to make but possible depending on factors l…ike how well youcan prove the damage and how significant it was.
Absolutely. If you're anything like me, you tried and tried to make it work. You've shown your best and worst self just trying to find the love you once had. You wanted it… to work with an intense passion. You excused, overlooked and/or accepted horrible things because you had faith that in the end it would all be worth it. You felt the end of the road would make you happy so you strapped in for the ride. But that isn't how it worked out. If it was just going to end, you could have ended it after the FIRST time something unacceptable occurred. Now 'defeat' is what you're left with, feeling like you lost. But that's natural after all (and again, if you're anything like me) I'm sure there were things you lost: respect, hope, a few points in self esteem and confidence etc. But there is a silver lining. You won't feel that way forever. It's a process and you're feeling things you need to feel. You're progressing. Don't worry, it gets better... way better.
It is not about forgiven self. Remember you are the victim. It is about forgiven others, and about focusing on changing your life to avoid these situations again by realizing …you are human and worth better treatment. www.cbttherapy.org with a lot of time. from experiance, the most important things to do are;forgive yourself, and recognize that you are a person with value and worthforgive forgive the abuser, everyday, because the anger you might feel toward that person will only make you feel worse emotionalyforgive them, but don't make yourself available to them, or allow them to further abuse you in an shape or form, sometimes cutting of contact completely is very good, but remember that forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to forget.when you wake up in the morning, mentaly verbalize the fact that you are going to be okay, and that it's going to be a good day.
Answer \n. \nIt may give you some of your power back to think of exposing the person, but in the long run it affects you more than the abuser. Better to let the rest of the… world teach them. You can move forward, with compassion, and find your real life there.\n. \n Answer \n. \nWhy bother? Although narcissists are chameleons in nature (change their personality to meet their needs) the majority of the public isn't stupid. There will be a time when the narcissist will slip-up and the true personality will be revealed. \n. \nA victim of a narcissist (in your case) is seeking more of a "I told you about him/her and now you know I told the truth." IT DOESN'T MATTER! People leave their relationships for various reasons and don't need to explain to others why. It's important you just get away from the person. You know who you are and that you aren't at fault and that's all that matters. It's best to kick this person to the curb and move on or you'll just end up wasting your energy and getting no satisfaction from it. \n. \nIt's important you seek counseling because you have taken verbal/emotional abuse and you need to realize and prove to yourself (at this point) that none of it was your fault. It's difficult for the victim at times not to blame themselves no matter how hard they try.\n. \nI was married once before and my ex was verbally/physically abusive and he cheated often and after I left him 3 1/2 years later (don't know what took me so long) it took me sometime before I stopped blaming myself. I thought I had all the answers, but shocked myself into realizing that I had come to think that "I" must have done something to deserve all this and that people just didn't go out and cheat on one for no reason. I finally got the picture that there are disturbed and troubled people out there and they manage to hang themselves all on their own time and no one got them to that point.\n. \nGood luck
Answer I just ended my abusive relationship with a Narcissist. I do feel sorry for him, because he is mentally ill. Because he will never be able to love i…n a normal sense. But I am really trying not to confuse that with the fact that he is a dangerous person to those of us who can love normally. I have a lot of work to do finding out who I am and what I want, and while it is perfectly normal to help those who are willing to help themselves...there is no help for anyone who is a Narcissist, unless they are able to recognize it themselves. We do not help them by staying with them. Regret that they are sick individuals, that the relationship was so one-sided, that you gave up so much of yourself to someone who you really could not help....but DO move on. You can love normally, God wants that for you, and he wants you to have someone who can love you back. Don't be unevenly yoked to someone who can't see the light. God Bless you, Mbme
Answer Sure because the only way they validate themselves is by controlling another. They put on a good farce in the beginning to reel a person in and when they… know they have them, bam, they become a monster. Sad to say that it is far too common and the other thing that abusers have in common is they actually are the ones that are more fearful, afraid of being alone and afraid no one will love them, so they act out in there own demented way.
Abusive relationships make women feel insecure, alone, afraid, and devalued. They can also make a woman feel hopeless, helpless and sad. Other feelings can be angry, outrage…d and suicidal. Abused woman should seek help for the abuse they have suffered.
It is due to the fact that they only care for themselves and they might think you aren't good enough. Get over it, since you are obviously scared they might try to get revenge… for you not thinking they are good enough. But it is not in a narcissist's nature to harm, since that would be deemining themselves. KthxBye
he feels horrible and his self esteem is low because the only reason why he beat you down was because he was insecure
The paranoid feeling is a symptom of PTSD.
There is no one correct answer. So long as a person remembers anything of the abusive relationship, it will always have some effect on them simply by remembering it. In a simi…lar fashion to some believing virginity can never be regained once lost, someone who is abused can never be "never abused" unless they incur a complete amnesia over their memory of the entire abusive relationship. The more serious consequences to the victim of a relationship, such as depression (suicidal thoughts or feelings of worthlessness, etc.), nightmares, "battered wife syndrome" (in which one thinks the abusive relationship is their fault and the relationship can be good again if they are a better lover) may not pass at all if the victim has chronic depression (chronic depression doesn't mean feeling depressed after an emotionally traumatic event, such as an abusive relationship, but is a neurochemical imbalance that can make it impossible for a person to stop feeling depressed even long after the event, whereas a normal person will feel depressed but the feeling of depression fades after not too long of a period). Several months to a year or more may be required for the worst symptoms to pass. Certainly, if bad symptoms persist for longer than a year, professional help may be required (but it is a good idea for the victim of an abusive relationship to get professional help early anyway, as some of the side effects of an abusive relationship can be deadly).
Some of the feelings are fear, desperation, helplessness and anger.