How can you win your wife from her lover?

Answer 1

Sometimes the opposite move is the right oneMy wife had an affair and was ready to leave me. I managed to convince her to stay but her lingering feelings for her ex-lover made things awkward for months. So I invited her ex-lover over to have a menage a trois with us.

This seems like a totally insane move, but it actually had a positive effect. For one, being with him satisfied the itch that was driving her to distraction. Second, the passion she felt for him was injected into our relationship. Third, it diffused the tension of seeing him around, since we hang out in the same places.

This won't work for everyone. For one, you have to lose the jealousy and ego bruise, and you have to really forgive your spouse, and want him/her in your life despite what they did. And you have to accept that if they did fall in love, those feelings don't go away quickly.

Lastly your spouse genuinely has to want to be with you. But that's a given if there's any hope of recovery from an affair. Otherwise it's best to cut your losses.

well the one thing that you have to do in order to win her back from her lover is spice up the relationship that's one of the reasons that marriage couple's break up or go looking for something else because everyday its the same routine over and over and people do get bored. So spice it up and start being the person that she fell in live with the first you met

Break UpsBy spice, think romance not just sex. She probably wants the rush of being in love, of knowing someone is thinking about her, misses her, thinks she's sexy and amazing. You might want to try having more conversations (eye contact too), taking up an activity together, getting back into shape (you will look better, feel better and be healthier too), taking over some chores, giving her some real affection (foot rubs, compliments, hugs etc) and appreciate her role in your marriage vocally and often. I think she will come back, your marriage may be weakening but all that history and all those bonds are still there. She fell in love with you once, you are her type and she can love you again. Woo her like you did to get her to marry you in the first place. Good luck!

• I applaud you for being willing to put forth the effort to save your marriage. So many people are viewing marriage as disposable now that you question, while heartbreaking, also gives me hope.

* I think you need to confront her on this as well; if you're willing to put the effort into your relationship then good for you, but if your wife is cheating on you with another man then she has a big apology to make. I'm not saying it has to be the end of your marriage, but she has to admit to you what she's been doing, apologize for it and promise that she'll never do it again. If the two of you want to try an open relationship and experiment with sleeping with other people while still being man and wife, that's fine, but you need to be equals in a marriage and right now she completely has the upper hand. So demand what she owes you - a big apology.