How do I know if my friend is gay straight or bisexual?

Answer 1

Hi, my names Jonathan and I'm from America, I'm bisexual, and I'm 16, I have this friend who is 17 years of age, I've known him since primary school, he has a girl friend but I want to know if he's gay or bisexual or just plain straight, but I don't know what to believe as my minds in two about it, I always catch him staring at me, and when I look back or he realises I caught him he turns away, we both have the same friends, but I only talk to him and hang around with him as I don't like the rest, and when he's out drinking with them I get a text or a phone call saying "are you coming out" I say "no" and he says "well were you at I'll come meet you" as he knows why I don't like my other mates, so he leaves them to be with me, he also acts different when he's with just me, to how he would been around the rest, and sometimes when theirs "me" "him" and a few "girls" he will cuddle me esp when a little tipsy or drunk and so I will say "get off me" and he will say "I'm only joking man".

But we have shared beds before, not like sexual intercourse, just like how people do when theirs no more room anywhere else, or just cause use are drunk, we have also had water fights to the extent we are both soaking and he had to borrow some of my clothes or I had to borrow his, we do everything together, he has also getting changed infront of me before, *still had his underwear on baring in mind, so not fully changed* and sometimes if I go to his and he isn't ready to go, he will run around the house in his underwear, he has kissed me on the cheek but out of been drunk and just been a friend I think...

But once I sent him a message basicly saying "I Love You" and he started saying to everyone I was gay and he was scared of me...

So as you do, I had to say It wasn't mean for him and I'm not gay...

He used to always text me late at night asking "what I was up to" and then he stopped and I started, but then I didn't text for a few days as I got sick of getting no were, and he started to text me again saying "blanked again" "you havnt text me tonight" and so on, but I don't know if he was taking that to heart, just by how it sounds?...

He has said he loves me before, but we just classed that as drunken word's, and he always tickles me when theirs only me and him there...

He also tells me everything that has happened to him, like for instance if something bad has happened to him he will tell me.... But then sometimes he shows off, and show's me all the expensive stuff me had and tensed his muscles and gets his thin stomach out.

All of that should really have been on the discussion page, but lets see if you get this. Your friend migh just be confussed or not ready to accept himself yet. It could also be that he is just a very good friend or considers you one. He may feel more connect to you and doesn't want to let the rest of your friends know because of how they may react. You can always just ask him straight out. When you are alone. Assure him it is alright either way, but you are getting mixed signals and want to know. If you want to be the aggesor, you can always force the issue. Hold him and make him deal with his feelings. Everyones circumstance is different and everyone plays it differently. A lot of guys will use alcohol as an excuse to let them do what they really want to do. "I was so drunk I don't remember what I did." Something like that. It may be that he has put out all the hints he is capable of and it is up to you to act on them. Or not, you have to decide if you want to and are able to deal with what happens.

Sorry about the essay and a reply will be much appreciated.