How do narcissists deal with their own physical illnesses and what is the best way to deal with them when they are ill?

Answer 1

I would have to say that the competition for attention, the all-consuming jealousy, the societal expectation for them to act somehow compassionate or loving when they are incapable of this and their general distaste for any demonstration of human frailty or imperfections (which sickness represents for them) would send them packing quickly, if not physically, certainly emotionally. I think I would prefer for the narcissist to take a hike than hang around and rage for attention while I was trying to recover. Count your blessings.

My narcissist left me five days after I had broken my ankle, and I was in a wheelchair ... after 11 years together. They have no empathy, none. My advice is to run and don't look back. (If you can run on a broken ankle.)

The spouse's illness is an effrontery to the narcissist's delusions of omnipotence, invulnerability, and perfection. She is rendered imperfect, a drag on his resources, a weakling. Narcissists hate the weak, the old, the young, the sick, the emotional - because they remind them of their own suppressed emotions.

The narcissist - always above commonality and the law - resents society's expectations of him. He does not understand why he has to waste his precious time on damaged goods. The sick spouse becomes a source of negative narcissistic supply, a silent condemnation of the narcissist, a pointed (and sore) finger, an embarrassment, and a stark reminder of the grandiosity gap - the abyss between reality and the narcissist's fantasies.

The N I was unfortunate to be with severed all contact with me after I was admitted to hospital with a life-threatening condition. During my period in hospital he was caught by the police drink-driving at excessive speeds twice on the same day. He used my hospital addmission as his defence in court saying he was distressed about my contition.

Answer 2

If you know this person was diagnosed as a Narcissist and they are sick they often are angry because they feel that THEY should never be sick and they hate being waited on (unless they order it) as it makes them feel weak and they detest the feeling. If this is the case and they are so miserable it's making your life miserable tell them to behave themselves or you're slapping their butt into the hospital because you don't need to take this sort of treatment.

If you are going to lump a person with the label "Narcissist" because they are ill and are moody, argumentative and plain miserable it's unfair. Most people that are ill are either extremely quiet and say very little while others are cranky, moody, snap at you, etc.

I think Narcissists detest being sick because it makes them feel weak, helpless and dependent on others, in other words, HUMAN! Because they had inadequate caregiving (mother) or negative experiences as a child. They may not understand or comprehend anyone taking pity on them. They may however use others pity to their advantage and milk it for what its worth, exagerate or even confabulate an illness. Anything to get attention. Depends on the particular narcissist and situation. In general just leave them alone. IF you are too involved or family ties then do what you must be legally obligated but maintain an emotional distance.

One more thing. Most of us who are victims don't have the luxury of getting a professional diagnoses on our abusers. So research and make your own judgment. But be prudent and consider other conditions and disorders. Then if all the red flags and signs add up then you can assume you are dealing with a narcissist and adjust your defenses accordingly. I know I am not going to wait for a diagnoses on the N's i deal with before i decide to stay away from them.

In any case, try to talk to a professional even if you cant bring the offending abuser in to therapy. They will be better equiped to give an accurate diagnoses of you, the situation and what disorder he is likely to posess. (Borderline, Narcissistic, Antisocial or Narcissitic tendencies just to name a few) Bear in mind you do have to be carefull in legal cases. Dont openly accuse one of being a narcissist or use the "diagnoses" against him. In the courtroom, with his family or at work. Use your knowledge to protect yourself.

Answer 3

From what I have experienced they will try to find a way to make it about themself somehow, anyway they can, or just ignore it altogether if it doesn't serve them in anyway. For instance, they will go on and on about their own past health issue or how a past illness or death affected them OR they will show no emotion whatsoever, as if nothing is happening at all, mainly because it's not happening to them.

Sometimes they are really good which is confusing as they cannot love or feel empathy.

The only reasons I can think of for this is that they enjoy the reflected attention of the doctors. They fear (having the emotional age of a six year old) of having to look after themselves, particularly if the ill person is a main carer; a husband or wife. Also they need to preserve their N supply. I have seen this happen a couple of times once with an in-law and once with a acquaintance. They both did a amazing job of showing 'care'. All about them really though, as always.

Answer 4

They don't... only the fact you as an object won't be there anymore.

Answer 5

usually just like anyone else