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You could try to limit the amount of time/contact your ex-spouse has with your child (possibly easier if you move away) and consciously counteract their demeaning/demanding/damaging involvement in the child's life by being the supportive, understanding, mature parent who attempts to be a counterbalance. This is terribly hard if you are also trying not to set up conflicts of loyalty for your child between the two of you as parents. i have a now grown up son who has suffered from this situation and I can't honestly claim that I sorted out the dilemma for him - i think whatever my attempts at reinforcement he has been undermined by his father's scathing scorn mixed with bribery, though he is himself a lovely kind human being, intelligent and talented. I am afraid his confidence is still dented by the relationship.

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11y ago
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17y ago

How do you keep children safe, run away! Get the N out of their lives. Given the choice of THAT father and NO father...NO father wins everytime. My ex N was so mean to his children and his wife didn't have a clue. I feel sorry for their family. He duped me. I didn't know he was married until I fell in love and then it was a mess trying to pry myself out of the situation. I've since severed all ties but there still is a part of me that wonders whether he and his wife are together now or if he's on to his next thing and they are still getting a divorce. I'm so thankful that I've lived for 37 years on this planet and have been involved only once with an N. run away, run away, run away, your kids will be better off!

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15y ago

help them no it had nothingto do with them, that they didn't do anything wrong and that if they don't want to bother talking to him they don't have to especially if they are 12 and up

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11y ago

By being there for them and loving them.

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Q: How do you keep children emotionally safe when one parent is a narcissist?
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