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You don't. That's the problem.

Maybe they loved you based on what they THOUGHT was love or the closest thing they could feel to being love. Narcissists typically don't actually feel emotions like love or guilt. Its possible the whole relationship was a lie and they were only out for their own purposes. That's the toughest part to accept. Anyone who claims to love you and then drops you like a rock probably never loved you. That's a harsh thing to say but I speak from experience. And trust me, it will help you to accept that and let go of this person. As much as it hurts now.

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I don't know if you can ever know that answer. I think their idea of love is about control. The person may have loved or loves you as much as they are capable of feeling that emotion they define as love. However, actions speak louder than words. You have to remember this though. They can dump you like a hot potato for another person but they will do that to them too. Therfore, its nothing in any way about you. They may have just realised you are too much of a challenge to control. There could be many reasons.

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My ex N said he loved me once. He said he wanted to have children with me, take me all over the world and spend the rest of his life with me...but said he loved me once. That was when he was leaving at the airport to go overseas. He came back a year later with another woman. I hung on that "I love you" for a year. The one he is with now will only suffer the same fate. Poor thing; but thank god its not me suffering all over again.

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They don't love anyone.

User:Whydowecare

I think they love you in the moment. And that's about it.

They love the things you can give them, They love the fantasy you help them promote about their superiority, omnipotence and self impotance. They love the impression you can help them make on others, they love controlling you, and they love to then gain your trust and loyalty, twist your mind and isolate you and then destroy you by taking you apart piece by piece. They are not lovers, they are haters.

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12y ago
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13y ago

I do not believe that a true diagnosed narcissist can love someone besides themselves. They can learn to mimic love and do things that we usually associate with love. I have seen them feel anger, envy and jealousy, but not love nor empathy or grief. Human emotions about another person! These feelings don't exist for them.

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Q: How do you know if a narcissist ever loved you?
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How will a narcissist act once they know that you love them?

They will start to degrade and abuse you worse than ever. Get away!


Is it normal for a narcissist to say they dont know what love is because they have never had it in their lives even though you told them how much you loved them?

The only "love" a narcissist knows is self-love. Their inability to empathize with anyone else means they are unlikely to know what love is. A narcissist will say anything to maintain their narcissistic supply. If you are the source of this supply, and they realised that if they said they don't know what love is will get you to increase that supply, then they will say it. Please be careful. Look after yourself.


Has any spouse of a Narcissist ever felt that their spouse was flirting with other women in front of them?

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If I was the best thing to ever happen to my narcissist boyfriend and loved him unconditionally and catered to his every whim then why did he cheat on me with a friend discard me and never look back?

If he was a narcissist, then nothing you did could ever be a good as he knew he "deserved." So he looked elsewhere, which he'll probably keep doing for the rest of his life, no matter how well the woman he's with treats him.He wanted something other than what he got from you. I think it's the same answer regardless of his psychiatric diagnosis, if any. It would be harder to please a narcissist than the average person. The person trying to please a narcissist wouldn't get empathy back, among other things, so it might be for the best to have a narcissist leave you. But I don't think the trigger for that happening is much different than any other relationship.


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