How do you tell your ex you don't want to see him anymore?

Answer 1

Step 0

Know what your priorities, most deeply held values, capabilities, resources, and time constraints are.

Step 1

Listen to your feelings after the request is given. If you don't feel enthusiasm then it's probably a sign that the activity doesn't fit in with your priorities in life or else that you are near the limits of your time and capacities.

Step 2

Tell the person firmly no, and internally commit within yourself to keep saying no. A confident, unwavering voice conveys to the person that you a committed to saying no, and that their efforts to persuade you will be unsuccessful. When people hear vague, wishy washy responses they often build up false hopes and are just the more disappointed when you say no.

There is one caveat to all this however - oftentimes further conversation reveals that you didn't understand their initial request and that you actually would like to do what they're asking you to do. Be careful though to separate "persuasion", which you should try to avoid, from "information gathering", which is good.

Step 3

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Just because you have already decided that you are going to say no that doesn't give you permission to be abrasive or confrontational. You need to sincerely communicate with the other person, and depending on your relationship with them, you need to disclose some of your reasons for saying no. If the relationship is superficial, such as with a salesman or a sales clerk, you really don't need to give any reasons at all, just a firm no repeated until they get the idea. However, if the relationship is important, such as with a sibling or your boss, you generally should give several reasons for your refusal, and try to make sure that they understand you even if they still don't like your refusal.

Here are several examples of reasons for saying no:

-I'm sorry, I can't help you with that right now. I simply have too much on my plate already.

-(To a close friend) Geez, it sounds like you really need some help. Let me see if I understand your situation. - restate their situation as you understand it -. Well, I can't do it today, but what about Saturday?

-(To a superior at work.) I would love to help with the project but I simply not qualified for it and here's how...

-(To a salesman) The product looks very useful, but I simply won't be buying today thank you.

Step 4

Learn how to be okay with not being "the nice guy/girl" or the "good son/daughter", etcetera. Learn how to mentally not accept people's attempts to guilt you into compliance with their request. Learn how to distinguish unhealthy guilt, coming from an impossible desire to please everyone all the time, and constructive guilt alerting you to true violations of your inner moral code.

This question does not need all these steps. If you are adecent person, with good basic values, just do what your heart tells you. You are not on this planet to fulfill anybody's expectations but your own. Don't allow youself to be begged, bullied , or guilted into doing anything you are not comfortabledoing .

Answer 2

no 2 what? if he or she is asking u out again, just say,'' we have had our good times and bad times so im looking 4 somebody else.'' i have been through ur ex asking u out again. he's mad @ me but we r still good friends. i do have THE PERFECT boyfriend now though.

Answer 3

Be straight forward, honest, polite and empathetic - Try to keep it simple.