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Is it abuse if your husband refuses to kiss or cuddle saying you do not turn him on anymore since you have put on lots of weight?

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Yes, it's emotional and verbal abuse. You need to tell him how it makes you feel. That is rediculous that he is saying things about your weight like that. Especially since you just had a baby! Who isn't a bit overweight four months after having a baby?! And it's healthy to gain weight while you are pregnant. If you don't gain weight, you and the baby could have health problems. He is being rediculous and it has to stop. Talk with him and let him know how you feel and that he has to change his attitude towards you. You can't make him find you attractive, but he shouldn't be saying mean things to you about your weight. There are better ways to talk to someone about what is making them unhappy.  
Frank communications in a relationship is important. You should tell each other what's bothering you and demand change.
But "brutal honesty" is abusive. It is a form of aggression (as is nasty humor, by the way).
Your husband could have told you why he finds you unattractive more gently and far more lovingly.
Criticizing is not enough. Your husband should also have offered practical solutions to the problem.  
I would not be too concerned whether or not this is a form of abuse. Regardless of what Sam Vaknin says, there is no better way of solving abuse than with counter-abuse. I suggest a "kill them with kindness" approach. If your husband states that you are overweight, kindly remind him that you two are in a balanced relationship; you putting on more weight is the result of his diminishing penis size. As for you "not turning him on anymore," gently remind him that you did not marry him for his Quasimodo-like looks, but for who he is inside. Mention that he should feel fortunate that you were ever turned on by him.
Thanks for the feedback!

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