What would you like to do?
Is it abuse if your husband refuses to kiss or cuddle saying you do not turn him on anymore since you have put on lots of weight?
Yes, it's emotional and verbal abuse. You need to tell him how it makes you feel. That is rediculous that he is saying things about your weight like that. Especially since you just had a baby! Who isn't a bit overweight four months after having a baby?! And it's healthy to gain weight while you are pregnant. If you don't gain weight, you and the baby could have health problems. He is being rediculous and it has to stop. Talk with him and let him know how you feel and that he has to change his attitude towards you. You can't make him find you attractive, but he shouldn't be saying mean things to you about your weight. There are better ways to talk to someone about what is making them unhappy.
Frank communications in a relationship is important. You should tell each other what's bothering you and demand change.
But "brutal honesty" is abusive. It is a form of aggression (as is nasty humor, by the way).
Your husband could have told you why he finds you unattractive more gently and far more lovingly.
Criticizing is not enough. Your husband should also have offered practical solutions to the problem.
I would not be too concerned whether or not this is a form of abuse. Regardless of what Sam Vaknin says, there is no better way of solving abuse than with counter-abuse. I suggest a "kill them with kindness" approach. If your husband states that you are overweight, kindly remind him that you two are in a balanced relationship; you putting on more weight is the result of his diminishing penis size. As for you "not turning him on anymore," gently remind him that you did not marry him for his Quasimodo-like looks, but for who he is inside. Mention that he should feel fortunate that you were ever turned on by him.
109 people found this useful
Was this answer useful?
Thanks for the feedback!
I went through the same thing..i talked to my husband and let him know that i didnt like it...now he has cut back smoking and whenever he does smoke he knows he has to brush h…is teeth before getting near me...but lately he just takes a showers after smoking because he knows i cant stand the smell of cigs...if he loves you then he'll change his ways.. I suffered from the same problem with my girlfriend who smoked. I tried to hide it but she could always tell when i wasnt enjoying kissing her. In the end i didnt hve to force her to make a choice she decided to give up smoking because she didnt want to lose me. Talk to your husband, tell him how it feels. Is there something he doesnt like? a particular food or drink? if so ask him to try kissing you after you've ate/drank it and see if he doesnt mind. Answer I am a man that smokes ... and I would like to start answer the question by saying ... do not hold it against him. And even if it hurts, tell him how you feel, and together find a plan to work around it. No SMINT no KISS. Answer if you love him then you see through the smoke and see your husband for the person that he is and the reason why you married him or you could encourage him to buy mint chewing gum etc. I've just given up and I sympathize with you. I now understand how bad smoking stinks, it's gross. Tell him the truth. The stink of cigarettes goes down deeper than any smint can reach. Its down inside the lungs. Maybe it will be the one thing that finally makes him give up. I know I would be embarrassed if my partner told me that I stunk. Answer Smoking is an addiction and it cant be given up that easily, so it isn't practacal to request him to just stop smoking. You just have to make it clear that when he smokes that he is not to kiss you and that he is not to smoke at least an hour prior to wanting to be intimate. In that time he can brush his teeth, chew gum or have mints to get rid of the smell. It does work cause that is what my husband does for me. And I cant even tell he smokes at all. If he really wants those kisses or more then he will understand and be willing to make the compromise.
Answer . \nIt depends on the situation. If most wives waited for their husbands to be motivated enough to entertain others or even go out then we'd be very lonely women. … If he is using this to "get even" with you this is another story. If this is the case go out without him! Don't let ANYONE control your social life. \n. \nIt would be a good idea to communicate with your husband. Perhaps he works shift-work and is just plain tired. If so, come to some agreement that one night a week you both do something together or with friends and the other times when you need to get out of the house you could go out with girlfriends. Many of us rely on our girlfriends for some entertainment.\n. \nGood luck\nMarcy. Answer . \nMy ex, would insist that he pays for the date always (even if he literally took the money from my purse to pay for it) and he insisted that he should be the "man" and ask me out. And not the other way around. I would be severely criticized if I asked. So needless to say as he went out to basketball, hockey games, a monthly night out with this guy, and weekly drinks with the guys, and then of course, he worked hard so he was entitled to go for a drink....I waited alot. We went out 1 in the last year we were together, 3 times the year before and only 4 times the year before. Everyone else came before me. He didn't even take me out during these three past years, to celebrate any of the 3 kids we had, the house that we bought together or even when we got engaged. (ALthough he was entitled to go out and celebrate with his buddies). So if you end up feeling like you're on an never-ending to-do list then yes it is.
Answer . \nAsk him why? And what is missing from the relationship? Ask first maybe what where the qulities and things that made him fall in love with you. And than maybe by… his answers you will understand or see that he is a different person now or has changed. A person can't make people love them. I would let him go. Or maybe It's comunacation but, if a person say's " I don't love you" Don't wast your time on them and find someone that does love you. Best of luck in love.
Your girlfriend has put on weight since you started dating 9 months ago what should you do you dont find her physically attractive anymore?
Answer . you should start to do things that will help you get into shape and looking good and encourage her to join you and hopefully she will
Why does your boyfriend not want to kiss or hug you anymore He used to do it all the time now after a year there is nothing No sex No cuddling He says he's still in love so whats going on?
Answer . maybe he wants to take things slow or maybe he's thinking some things that's been bothering him and wants to overcome this 'things' before doing anything else with… you. Talk to him about what's going on and if he starts going ballistic or mad, just try and calm him down and tell him that you'll be there for him (and of course i know you would). Just be patient and give a little space and then when he's ready to talk, be sure to be there.
Sit down and talk with your husband calmly. Listen to him and don't get overly emotional. Right now that will not help the situation. Ask him to explain what areas of the rela…tionship are making him unhappy and what you both can do to make things better. Discuss the possibility of seeing a marriage counselor if the marriage is something you are both willing to work towards saving.
What does it mean when he says he isn't looking for a relationship but he cuddles kisses holds my hand and looks into my eyes a lot?
it means he's trying to get in your pants. guaranteed. It means he's wants physical contact but he doesn't want any of the responsibilities of a relationship (like a 'friends…hip with benefits'). He said he doesn't want a relationship; take his word for it. Some women feel they can make a guy want a relationship, like they see in the movies or read in books. Believe me, it's hard enough to change our own minds, so it's even harder to change someone else's mind. He doesn't deserve your affection (cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc.). If you want the commitments of a relationship, I'd say find someone else, someone who deserves you.
We're really not the people to ask. You should try asking your husband.
You would say, "Â¡Muchos besos!"
No he is just jealous because he is living a crappy life so he is just taking his anger out on her.
Maybe, maybe not, it doesnt necessarily mean hes cheating but there could be a possibility. A lot of times in a long relationship or marriage couples drift apart in some ways,… are'nt as close as they once were. In new relationships people feel a stronger desire to kiss and have sex more its because they havent explored each other much yet and things are new. After a long relationship sometimes people begin to loose these desires, especially if you have many arguments or have encountered some problems. Many people that do cheat come home to their wives and still kiss and have sex with them just like there are people that dont touch there wives much any more but still love them and never would want to be with anyone else. If you want him to kiss you again try doing something new. get a hot new outfit, turn him on. make yourself tempting and desirable. If your still worried about him cheating maybe its time you start doing some snooping around.
It is not your problem. If you know who you are and what you are worth, what they think will not matter. Remember that you cannot control what goes on in other people's mind, …you can only control your own. Time has a way of vindicating people who are wronged. Let time be the judge. Feel sorry for those who believe him, forgive them and move on.
"our?" "Us" Polygamy is illegal, my dearies.
maybe because he wants to divorce you! sorry! but you can ask him
In The Sims 2
your Sims need to build up there relationship
No. It should not be. If you do, then your fast will be void.