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Is it abusive if your boyfriend wants a relationship where he dates other women but insists that you can only be with him?
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
If it bothers you and you told him so and he persists - then it is abuse.
You bet it's abusive! Please ditch this guy! If someone really loves you they trust you and there should be no problem with each of you going out with friends. This guy is on an ego trip and is a control freak. Don't allow it! You are in control of yourself and your future. Run!
It's a selfish and controlling expectation on the part of the boyfriend and his insistence on curtailing your freedom while maintaining his own does not sound like a healthy adult relationship.
Mind you, a "relationship" which involves other parties on either or both sides doesn't amount to much of a relationship -- unless that's what you wish to settle for.
At the end of the day, it's your call. Nobody can abuse you unless you let them abuse you.
The gentleman in question may well "insist" on his way, but if his way is not for you and if he is not prepared to respect your way (ie that you both date others), then you're venturing into abusive territory should you give in to HIS wishes (against your own) in order to remain involved with this man.
"Abuse" is when a stranger walks over and slaps you in the face. But where we unwittingly give over our power to another in order to win or hold onto their "love" or whatever validation they may provide, we are in effect facilitating our own "abuse" by giving in to others' unacceptable expectations and thus eroding our SELVES.
"Abusive" or just plain "selfish", remember that YOU are in the driver's seat as far as YOUR wishes and limits are concerned, and it is up to YOU to set your boundaries and to ensure that they are respected -- ie. if you are not satisfied: DON'T TALK, WALK -- and keep walking!
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
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