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Is it possible and if so how can the narcissistic traits of a spouse be pointed out in a very casual way so that those not familiar with narcissism start seeing that there is something wrong with him?
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
Well, you may want to not say things like, "See what he's doing now? That PROVES he's a narcissist!" You can't hand everyone a book on narcissim and have people check off items as they see them. Yes, I'm being a bit silly here, but don't do anything that will undermine your credibility or make you look like the one with the problem! Go about it another way.
Start pointing out (to them) things that he's doing. For example, narcissists love to play mind games, lie, cheat, tear apart your self esteem, etc. You need to point those things out to your family because whether those fall under narcissistic traits or not, they'll know that something is wrong with him. If he is being mean to you, they need to know that. Do NOT put a psychological name (narcissist) on it. Just start letting them know what your spouse is doing that is causing you concern. Once you start telling family members what he (or she) is doing, then you can start laying the groundwork of putting a name to what is wrong. Abuse is abuse. Whether they reconginze your spouse as a narcissist, sociopath or just someone having a bad couple of months, they will at least know the abuse exists.
Your second problem is if (best case scenario) everyone realizes that he or she is a narcissist. THEN what? You can't "force" someone to change or get help and you can't stage an intervention with the narcissist.
Which leads me to your biggest problem: You are living with a narcissist. The problem here is not showing everyone else who your spouse is. The problem is that you are living the very painful life of being married to a narcissist. There is a very, very high liklihood that this person wont' change -- whether the family is involved or not. And if you were to break up and get back together, after a brief "honeymoon" period, the narcissist will treat you worse than they did in the first place. You need to evaulate what is best for you and not for the narcissist or his or her family.
My heart goes out to you. Good luck.
~ T
AnswerI am struggling with this myself. The answer above was helpful. I agree that if you are living with the narcissist, get out, and live as far away as possible. Make it inconvenient and expensive to come and see you, and a narcissist won't do it.However, assuming the spouse has gotten out, a person with a normal sense of empathy will think, "Should I tell the other people involved?" There's the mother, the brother, the new girlfriend, the sadly neglected new girlfriend's child...the mutual friends you had in common that he keeps abusing and upsetting... The question I am posing is whether it is your duty or not to tell other people involved that this person you know and love, but that keeps hurting you, is doing it because he has narcissist personality disorder.
I know it won't help the narcissist. I couldn't care less what happens to the narcissist. But will it help the other people involved if they know the truth and can accept it? Will it help them deal, will it help them get out? Will it inform their decisions?
It is a particularly hard decision whether I should tell his mother or not.
ANSWER
my "narcs" parents often mentioned they were concerned about him, it made things worse as he wouldn't speak to them about anything, saying they just wouldn't understand. the last time they brought up their concern i tried to explain what it was, but it frightened them so much, they phoned and told him all that id said and denied saying anything themselves. it caused so many problems between all of us, i wish i hadnt bothered!
his father died last year, and since then he has just fobbed his mom off with false excuses and even bigger lies.
he caused rows and tension between me and his mom, then told me she didnt want me anywhere near. i found out later he had actually told her (and all his friends) that we had finished! they will lie and go to any length to protect their Narcissism, and to make sure their false self is never exposed.
i hope there is a way to tell them and point out the traits, but i havent found how to yet! i think that due to the nature of this dissorder if he was exposed he would just start again elsewhere!
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
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Can narcissism only be during drug use?
To answer your question, we must first define narcissism. thefreedictionary.com describes narcissism as excessive admiration for oneself, or a psychological disorder involving lack of empathy, self-preoccupation, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem. Sound like anyone you know? For the first definition I'm sure that you said that,yes, you have met an excessively vain person. But on the second definition I'd wager you were a little less definitive. Narcissism is not directly associated with drug use. It is quite possible to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder without having partaken in narcotics.
Is it possible for a man to be considered Narcissistic and yet it is really covering deep insecurities?
The quick answer is "Yes." But generally, narcissism is exactly what you are describing: the narcissist is not secure so he or she must overcompensate so as to attempt to prevent others from questioning these shortcomings. The narcissist is unsure of his or her worth, so must work to prove to others that he or she is a person of value.
Is it possible to be raised with a narcissistic parent and not become narcissistic?
It is highly likely that a child raised by very narcissistic parents will not become narcissistic. They might struggle to undo enmeshment, dependence, and approval seeking behaviors. It depends on how much the child perceives his or her own sense of otherness in comparison to his or her parent.
Is it possible to have signs of pregnancy 4 days after sex because ive been feeling really bloated something I am not familiar with?
Oh but of course!
How is it possible to guard small children from being emotionally exploited by their narcissistic grandparents?
By keeping them away from their grandparents as much as you can - and by providing a counter example, by serving as role models of non-narcissistic conduct.
How do you communicate with a narcissist spouse?
Narcissism? Narcissism, the excessive love or admiration of oneself, is a phenomina that usually results when parents, for one reason or another, pay too much attentiion to a child. The response of the child as it grows into adulthood, is to expect a duplication of the parental response in all of his/her relationships. I am fully aware of the loose usage of many psychological terms. It is possible that your spouse is simply self-involved or does not communicate well. These are possibilities. I therefore must frame my answer in the following way: if your spouse is really narcissistic, you can not expect much in terms of a changed behavior. But if she is simply self-involved, you might want to ask her how she feels about you and her relationship to you? You might get an answer or you might not. Read more about narcissism in the book reference on my Bio Page.
Are dual disorders possible such as narcissism and bipolar?
Yes. I have been to see a psychologist for help with my 69 year old mother-in-law, who, according to my husband, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the 80's. According to the doctor many of these personality disorders can overlap. Without seeing my MIL personally, but hearing about her total lack of boundaries and abusive history with her own children and what she has subjected me to, she believes she is suffering from borderline/narcissistic personality disorder.
What can I get over the counter that has misoprostol in it?
To my knowledge, misoprostol is only a prescription drug. However, I live in the USA and am not as familiar with drugs in other countries, so it's possible you might find something outside of the US.
