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Is sending an abuser to a traditional anger management program just wasted effort?
Wiki User
∙ 15y ago
== == * I wouldn't say it's a wasted effort, but unless this person realizes they do abuse and is willing to seek help then it would be a wasted effort. Men in particular who abuse think they are right and no one is going to change their mind. The victim "deserves it" or "she's stupid" or "why did she do the same thing again when I asked her not too." They can always come up with excuses. The stats on men getting help through counseling is extremely low. If you think the abuser means it then let them give it a try. * There is a big difference between domestic violence and anger management. If the abuse is occurring in a domestic partnership or with children, then this person should attend a domestic violence group. I agree with the above answer but want to clarify. Individual psychotherapy proves to be ineffective for abusers in domestic violence; which is why group programs work so much better. They are confronted by their peers and are better able to take responsibility.
Anger management programs are not appropriate for domestic abusers but are appropriate for someone that lacks good communication skills (IE, is aggressive in style) or who lacks good stress management skills and as a result, looses his/her cool.
Ari Novick, Ph.D.
AJ Novick Group, Inc. - Anger Management
www.ajnovickgroup.com
www.angerclassonline.com
Wiki User
∙ 15y ago
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What are the ways in which you cannot be heavily involved with an abuser but want to keep the relationship?
Abuser of what? drugs or you? Convince them to go to anger management, or rehab. talk to them and try to make them stop.
What is the most damaging messages a child learn from abuse is?
If the child is witness to the abuse, than the abuser is sending a message to the child that it is okay to do that to people.
How can a potential abuser how can you get help?
Get into batterer counseling (even if its verbal/ emotional abuse) ASAP (NO Anger Management - that does NOTHING for abusers)
How can you make a family member understand that the treatment an abuser needs to be forced into is a specialized abuser program rather than traditional anger management?
Your family member is not far off the mark at all. Abuse is about deep rooted anger. The abuser is actually frustrated and feels that no matter how hard they work or try society is at fault (or others) for their failures. If this person gets anger management treatment it will certainly help with the abuse. However, you can't force anyone to go to a program. You may get them there if they are a minor, but they don't have to listen. The person has to acknowledge the fact they have a problem in the first place, and abusers simply don't and are in a constant denial mode. It's no different than a drug user or an alcoholic ... if they won't admit they have a problem you can go to all the programs the world has to offer and never get well. If this is a teenager and minor then yes, it would be beneficial and the right thing to do to get them some help. Good luck Marcy Sometimes the person must learn for themselves. Unfortunately, no one can pound a message into another person's head unless the person allows it.
Can a verbal abuser be forced into an abuser program if the alternative is making his family suffer for the rest of their lives because he has no concept of respect for them?
If someone is verbally abusive to their family than the family can seek counciling for theirself and the abuser. Other alturnitive is to kick the abuser out of the house. If they are under 18 than the parents could talk to the school councelor about their behavior at school and they may recommend help.
What steps must a drug abuser follow in order to stop abusing drugs?
The 12 step program of Narcotics Anonymous .
Should at least 1 appointment be made with an abuser program against an abuser's will if that's what's best for the family?
Yes, clearly the abusive family member wouldn't willingly attend something intended to correct his/her abusive behavior I they are indeed abusive.
Can verbal abuse be helped?
Only if the abuser wants to be helped and commits to a minimum of one year of BATTERER Counseling. (Anger Management is useless for abusers.)
Was David Pelzer a child abuser?
No he is not a child abuser.
How can someone who is either considering leaving her abuser or sending him to an abuser program protect herself from paybacks or retaliation so that she can rest assured that she did the right thing?
Once you leave your abuser put it in your mind that you are leaving him for good! There is no going back! Few abusers ever seek psychological help because they truly believe there is nothing wrong with them and no one is going to tell them otherwise. Some abusers will even fight the police and still swing at their victim while the police are standing right there. Abusers think they own their victim and that there are no authority figures that should be meddling in the abuser's personal affairs. YOU don't send the abuser to a program because he has to want to go. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. If he agrees to go he's pulling your chain! Abusers are sneaky and sick individuals and by believing he will go for help and you are still living there you are putting your life at risk. Physical abuse is not to be taken lightly and women are murdered for a lot less. Leave! Find out where your local "Abused Women's Center" is, or contact Mental Health and they will put you in the right direction. Not only does your abuser need help, but you have been psychologically bruised and you need some help in healing as well before you can expect to have a productive lifestyle. Good luck hon and be careful! Marcy
When was Love Your Abuser created?
Love Your Abuser was created on 2007-01-30.
Is it possible for a young abuser to acknowledge his or her behavior and change?
AnswerSome abusers, regardless of age, do change (especially with the benefit of professional help in therapy, anger management classes, and medication).
