What would you like to do?
Is the narcissist always aware of their desire for attention and adulation?
Sometimes the narcissist does gain awareness and knowledge of his predicament - typically in the wake of a life crisis (divorce, bankruptcy, incarceration, near death experience, death in the family). But, in the absence of an emotional correlate, of feelings, such merely cognitive awakening is useless. It does not yield insight. The dry facts do not bring about a transformation, let alone healing. The introspection of the narcissist is emotionless, akin to the listing of an inventory of his "good" and "bad" sides and without any commitment to change. It does not enhance his ability to empathize, nor does it inhibit his propensity to exploit others and discard them when their usefulness is over. It does not tamper his overpowering and raging sense of entitlement, nor does it deflate his grandiose fantasies. The narcissist's introspection is a futile and arid exercise at bookkeeping, a soulless bureaucracy of the psyche and, in its own way, even more chilling that the alternative: a narcissist blissfully unaware of his own disorder. Question: If the narcissist becomes self-aware, if he accepts that he is a narcissist, isn't this the first, important step, towards healing? Answer: His narcissism defines the narcissist's waking moments and his nocturnal dreams. It is all-pervasive. Everything the narcissist does is motivated by it. Everything he avoids is its result. Every utterance, decision, his very body language - are all manifestations of narcissism. It is rather like being abducted by an alien and ruthlessly indoctrinated ever since. The alien is the narcissist's False Self - a defence mechanism constructed in order to shield his True Self from hurt and inevitable abandonment. Cognitive understanding of the disorder does not constitute a transforming INSIGHT. In other words, it has no emotional correlate. The narcissist does not INTERNALIZE what he understands and learns about his disorder. This new gained knowledge does not become a motivating part of the narcissist. It remains an inert and indifferent piece of knowledge, with minor influence on the narcissist's psyche. Sometimes, when the narcissist first learns about the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), he really believes he could change (usually, following a period of violent rejection of the "charges" against him). He fervently wants to. This is especially true when his whole world is in shambles. Time in prison, a divorce, a bankruptcy, a death of a major source of narcissistic supply - are all transforming life crises. The narcissist admits to a problem only when abandoned, destitute, and devastated. He feels that he doesn't want any more of this. He wants to change. And there often are signs that he IS changing. And then it fades. He reverts to old form. The "progress" he made evaporates virtually overnight. Many narcissists report the same process of progression followed by recidivist remission and many therapists refuse to treat narcissists because of the Sisyphean frustration involved. I never said that narcissists cannot CHANGE - only that they cannot HEAL. There is a huge difference between behaviour modification and permanent alteration of the psychodynamic landscape. Narcissistic behaviour CAN be modified using a cocktail of talk therapy, conditioning, and medication. I have yet to encounter a healed narcissist. The emphasis in therapy is thus more on accommodating the needs of those nearest and dearest to the narcissist - spouse, children, colleagues, friends - than on "treating" the narcissist. If the narcissist's abrasiveness, rage, mood swings, reckless and impulsive behaviours are modified - those around him benefit most. This, as far as I am concerned, is a form of social engineering. One last hope: Narcissism (though rarely) does tend to ameliorate with age and many forms of pathological narcissism are reactive and transient (Roningstam, 1996). Based on my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" � 2003 Lidija Rangelovska Narcissus Publications Not according to my observations. My NPD mother definitely expected attention and special treatment, but rarely thought she was given enough. I don't think she had a real clue about how deeply she infected the entire family with her preposterous demands. In her mind, it was we who were selfish and unappreciative. My Mother had entire albums filled with nothing but pictures of herself, posing as a model would pose and she was totally complacent about it, as if everybody did it. In my situation, Jo insists that she DOES NOT want attention nor adulation. So, I'd say no, in this case she is not aware of her desire for it. She claims that she wants all the glory to go to GOD ONLY. On the surface, she appears to be directing people to Him, but in her mistreatment of me, I don't see the heart to please God at all. My child is quiet, reserved, and stays so much in the background. My brother's kids are loud, fighting, screaming, in the middle of the room. I saw my kid being isolated and alone, and thought, I should do something to make him feel part of the bigger family. My son is uncomfortable with attention so most of the time, I let him be. I said, "son, come in here and show everyone your scar you got this summer." My son held out his arm and even before anyone could lean over to look, my brother says very loudly, "YOU SHOULD SEE MY SON'S SCAR, IT'S REALLY BIG, COME HERE TOM." He grabbed Tom and pulled him over to where my son was standing. I kid you know, he grabbed my son by the shoulders, moved him out of the way and inserted his own kid. I forgot how much narcissist love to hang on to the spotlight and prevent anyone else from being in it.
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Yes -- and he won't care.
A true narcissist is the center of their own universe. If what you are asking, does a narcissist see that they are being self centered and selfish, the answer is NO. To …a narcissist, they are right and the rest of the world is wrong. If they say the sky is red, it is red. A narcissist will even view their needs as the needs of other people. Narcissism is a personality disorder, and therefore is not cureable. So, if you meet a narcissist I would recommend turning and running. Lastly, if you are married to a narcissist and working for a narcissist, my sincere condolences. That is what happened to me. I lost my family, and my career all in one fell swoop when the big midlife crisis hit since we worked all together.
I think narcissists get bored with their lovers or partners, when that person no longer excites them as they did in the first flush. To an addictive personality like a narciss…ist, the first kiss, first sex, first time thrill of getting someone in bed is absolutely crucial to them, like water to a plant They cannot tolerate sameness, once the excitement in a new relationship wears off. In the normal world, we cannot constantly have an adrenaline fuelled high of falling in lust and love but the narcissist thinks we should, and seeks it out all the time. I know, I have just been dumped by one. It was a terrible experience and my self esteem was bottom of the pit. I realised he was getting bored with me over time. Nothing seemed to please him, he lost his temper with me and also criticized my body. By the way, he is 60 years of age so there is no hope it will ever change. He told me in not so many words he had found someone who could excite him again. He did not have the courage to tell me out right. He left without a word, and just texted me from somewhere ages after, and toldme that he was overseas. When he returned, he just told me he was unable to meet up as it was 'difficult'. The difficulty was that he had moved in with his new lover. I am still recovering. I lie awake at night asking all the usual questions, but it doesn't help. Am seeking therapy now. Genna
Dissecting the motivations of a pathological partner is an exercise in futility and one of the reasons you were involved in a toxic union to begin with. Basically, we try to p…roject rational thought and sift through crumbs of our experience with them for signs of their humanity. We want to matter, feel valued, feel affirmation or love from a disordered individual incapable of it. They just can't. It's like trying to ask someone without a functioning spine to run a marathon with you without a wheelchair. It's natural and understandable to ask. Asking is what makes you a loving, compassionate person to yourself and others. You want to learn and heal because you are motivated by altruism and fulfilling human connection. Commendable qualities that will serve you well moving on. A narcissist has unchangable, abusive ideas of reference and justifications for their behaviors that kick in as soon as their worldview is required to empathize with others. Therefore, they are transitorily aware of their behavior, but able to dismiss it quickly as an alloplastic defense to protect their false self. To be discounted and discarded by a narcissist is a blessing. Self abuse that lingers in asking why is one of the reasons healing from the pathological union is so difficult. You've assumed their worlview, seen and felt yourself a recepticle for their shame and self-hatred almost frozen from the ability to move on, feel joy, self-esteem or a sense of goodness and trust in community. So, yes their predation of your essence is natural for them; but more importantly is profoundly unnatural for you. It can't be changed. No amount of love or perfection in you will ever compensate for it. The relational harm to your psyche, your heart, your spirit, friends and family, your job and finances will only accmulate in tme. That's what pathology does to a non-disordered person. Folie-a-deux or the alligator death roll - it is what it is. I'm sorry for your pain. I know some people who lose themselves in every recognizable way staying in it and trying to manage the severity of the harmful behavior impact, but they live a quarter life in fantasy, develop stress disorders, suffer miscarriages, addictions, depression... On and on. Every partner he has suffers. He feels something like fleeting attachment without loyalty, but he cannot love. He can parrot expressions and mannerisms of it, but he does not feel the way you and I may understand feeling. Think of it as an "urge" with a lack of impulse control where you and I may be motivated by care for another or a spirit of mutualtity. It's difficult to grasp and explain, but just know the less exposure you have the better you will live and the less you will suffer. Focus on you and your life and motivations. Find your joy. Remember, with a narcissist it not what it appears to be. The actions are reality, the words are superficial instruments to trap you. Your confusion and your pain is real and trying to lead you to a better life. Fly with your inner angels and trust yourself.
Yes! Thing is they are tricky. They can devalue you behind yourback. Mine even went as far as to try to devalue me to my ownfriends. Thing is they devalue you from the very be…ginning theyjust don't do it to your face they do it behind your back. Onlywhen your in their trap do they start doing it to you. Yes absolutely! A narcissist will be wonderful for a short while atthe beginning often mixed with some not so nice to set you reelingthen accompany that again with a bit more nice just to keep youconfused. no doubts you have been placed on a pedestal at somepoint, he put you there only to knock you off it, its all about thepower to be able to do that and what do we do?
Answer explain to him what a narcissist is, explain that narcissism usually develops at the age of 1 and 2 when a parent becomes weak, like getting him out of th…e crib when he cries for 3 seconds, when he learns to get away with things early on, he then becomes narcissitic, then say "you may have some of these qualities, if it gets real bad, then tell him, you have some qualities too, as does milions of american's Not sure If that explanation to a narcissist would get any response but anger, exactly what the original questioner is wanting to avoid. I don't believe pointing out what our personal opinions of the cause of narcissism would help. I believe what helps is helping ourselves, victims of the narcissist. Refuse to allow their antics to have any emotional effect on us at all. Ignore their manipulative tendencies because it is a war we cannot win so why get into the battle. The one consistency I have read is to stay away from them. Once you determine you are truly dealing with a narcissist then get far away, if possible. If you allow them to have an affect on you and they see that they are then you are simply be feeding their narcissistic needs and they will continue to use and abuse you.
Answer By definition, a narcissist loves himself. Sometimes his self love interferes with other relationships. It has been called the condition of ou…r time. Is it a disease? That's just a label. If someone is unable to maintain a relationship because of self love, do you pity him or hate him? If he feels that he is able to live his life the way he wants, it�s our obligation to let him do that without locking him up in a mental institution. Popular culture encourages narcissism. People are encouraged to buy more and to make sure that they are fashionable, and make sure that they never do anything that is difficult or painful. In short, pop culture encourages people to float through life, taking whatever they can get and giving nothing. That is almost the very definition of narcissism. Pop culture encourages those people to have the best looking spouse or at least current �friend�. If you are seen with someone who isn�t on the �A� list, it�s a negative for you. Pop culture does not encourage personal values, does not encourage sacrifice and who every heard of investing in the future? These are values which have been lost as part of the misguided morality of the older generations... at least, that�s the world according to the narcissistic pop culture of the entertainment media. Blaming popular culture is a cop out, and one a true narscissist would use. Narcissists will not take responsibility for their actions because ALL OF THEIR actions are somehow justified. The smarter ones will somehow appeal to psycho-babble nonsense or try and make you feel sorry for them to fool you into thinking that it's a sick society or a messed up family that made them do/act/say what they did. It doesn't matter that much what you think of them because you are beneath them anyway. They would like to avoid such tactics, because it's so much more pleasant to be adored, but really, you are simply an object to be exploited, and if you no longer adore them, well, all the more fun for them to exploit you. Society is not responsible for anyone taking responsibility for their wrong-doing. If I break the law, I am responsible. A narcissist *may* be able to *say* these words, but he/she doesn't mean them. In fact, what he/she really believes is that society is responsible, his/her bad childhood is responsible, his/her spouse is responsible, aliens are responsible, anything or anyone is responsible but themselves *if* and only if they care to assess the situation that deeply and most don't. Answer I think Redbeard's post was an excellent one and well said. Narcissists leave bodies behind them. The come into a person's life, conquer, make their lives miserable and when it SUITS THEM they leave! Yes, eventually they will leave their partners because they are simply too full of themselves to care about hurting anyone else's feelings. If you know one, get rid of them!
Eventually because they are in love with themselves.
The narcissist knows to tell right from wrong. He is perfectly capable of anticipating the results of his actions and their influence on his human environment. The narcissist …is very perceptive and sensitive to the subtlest nuances. He has to be: the very integrity of his personality depends upon input from others. But the narcissist does not care. Unable to empathise, he does not fully experience the outcomes of his deeds and decision. For him, humans are dispensable, rechargeable, reusable. They are there to fulfil a function: to supply him with Narcissistic Supply (adoration, admiration, approval, affirmation, etc.) They do not have an existence apart from the carrying out of their duty. True: it is the disposition of the narcissist to treat humans in the inhuman way that he does. However, this propensity is absolutely controllable. The narcissist has a choice � he just doesn't think anyone is worth making it. It is a fact that the narcissist can behave completely differently (under identical circumstances) � depending who is involved. He not likely to be enraged by the behaviour of an important person (=with a potential to supply him narcissistically). But, he might become absolutely violent with his nearest and dearest under the same circumstances. This is because they are captives, they do not have to be won over, the Narcissistic Supply coming from them is taken for granted. Being a narcissist does not exempt the patient from being a human being. A person suffering from NPD must be subjected to the same moral treatment and judgment as the rest of us, less privileged ones. The courts do not recognise NPD as a mitigating circumstance � why should we? Treating the narcissist specially will only exacerbate the condition by supporting the grandiose, fantastic image the narcissist has of himself. By all means: be angry, be upset (for good and just reasons) � and don't hesitate to communicate your displeasure. The narcissist needs guidance (he is disoriented) and this is one of the best ways of providing him with one. Based on my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" When they are your friends, notice how they let you in on their rationalizations. "That person got my birthday wrong by a day. That was rude. For their birthday, we should all pretend like we forgot it and ignore them and let them see how it feels." The person was a day late, because they had a family emergency. But, narcissist DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES. Everything is all about them them them, and them getting their revenge.
Because that's all they wanted in the first place - your attention. They will ignore you untill they want some more.
back is the keyword here, they can't go forward properly so back is invevitable. he's gonna go back with ex AGAIN i do believe. this time i am in my apt. and he left me. thank… GOD i have a lease in my name. I'm done with this dude. he is insane. my insanity is in believing in him ever & at all.
Joule heating is referred to as ohmic heating or resistive heating because of its relationship to Ohm's Law. It forms the basis for the myriad of practical applications involv…ing electric heating. However, in applications where heating is an unwanted by-product of current use (e.g., load losses in electrical transformers) the diversion of energy is often referred to as resistive loss. The use of high voltages in electric power transmission systems is specifically designed to reduce such losses in cabling by operating with commensurately lower currents. The ring circuits, or ring mains, used in UK homes are another example, where power is delivered to outlets at lower currents, thus reducing Joule heating in the wires. Joule heating does not occur in superconducting materials, as these materials have zero electrical resistance in the superconducting state. so it is sometimes desirable and sometimes not............
%DETAILS% What a curious and thought provoking question. My first reaction to the headline question was "why on earth should it make any difference at all to his p…otential to be destructive?", but then I thought, more and read your full argument. I do not personally subscribe to the hypothesis of "Narcissism as substance addiction", but if I did, I would first ask myself how your argument works if we substitute "Heroin Addict". There certainly seems to be a point at which every addict consciously submits his personal standards to his addiction, but that does not seem to make him particularly more destructive and dangerous, just less conflicted, more overtly ruthless ... more OBVIOUSLY destructive and dangerous. However, the above would seem a good argument against considering NPD in terms of substance addiction, or even gambling addiction, because those who tell us it is an addiction ALSO tell us that it cannot possibly follow the pattern above, which is pivotal to the personality changes wrought by addiction. I am uncomfortable with the suggestion that an illness "cannot be reformed" ... moral deficiency can be reformed ... illness can only be treated and controlled or cured, or not. Which leads me to my final thought. "Awareness" may well be the point at which illness and moral deficiency meet in the individual. Thus, I suggest, if one suffering NPD becomes aware and then DECIDES to consciously abandon all morality he most certainly does have the potential to be more destructive and dangerous than the average, unaware sufferer. This is not to say that everyone who suffers NPD decides to do this. Many, becoming aware, decide to try and fight the worst effects of the disorder within themselves, at least to the best of their knowledge. However ineffectually. But when the sufferer makes a conscious individual decision to embrace his disorder, he makes that decision from some other aspect of his personality, and it is surely that other aspect, COMBINED with NPD that makes him more potentially dangerous and destructive, rather than the NPD alone? The narcissist forms an attachment to his disorder - his fervent protestations to the contrary safely ignored. This process is described in great detail in my diary (journal) online. Anything and everything the narcissist learns about himself (and about others) is immediately put to use to enhance his efficiency and to extract additional narcissistic supply. The narcissist carries with him his metal constitution, his robot countenance, his superhuman knowledge, his inner timekeeper, his theory of morality and my very own divinity � himself. Sometimes the narcissist does gain awareness and knowledge of his predicament - typically in the wake of a life crisis (divorce, bankruptcy, incarceration, near death experience, death in the family). But, in the absence of an emotional correlate, of feelings, such merely cognitive awakening is useless. It does not yield insight. The dry facts do not bring about a transformation, let alone healing. The introspection of the narcissist is emotionless, akin to the listing of an inventory of his "good" and "bad" sides and without any commitment to change. It does not enhance his ability to empathize, nor does it inhibit his propensity to exploit others and discard them when their usefulness is over. It does not tamper his overpowering and raging sense of entitlement, nor does it deflate his grandiose fantasies. The narcissist's introspection is a futile and arid exercise at bookkeeping, a soulless bureaucracy of the psyche and, in its own way, even more chilling that the alternative: a narcissist blissfully unaware of his own disorder. Based on my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" � 2003 Lidija Rangelovska Narcissus Publications I think the statement "self-aware narcissist" may be an oxymoron. narcissist are not self aware, they just think they are. Probably not much. Go to to the official website and read the 10K and annual report for starters. Also, look at the P/E multiple and other financial metrics. Basic ones can be found at most financial websites.
because of there attitude of selfishness. Narcissism is a force that is infiltrating the people in our society in great numbers. It is a self-absorbed energy that takes contro…l of people and robs them of their ability to love or care about anyone else.
Yes, they think that they are always right and the other person is to blame for everything. They will go to no end to try and make themselves blameless for everything and to p…rove it to others with lies or whatever it takes to make them look good.