Is there a specific line between normal discipline and verbal or emotional abuse that you can keep an eye on so that you know without a doubt that your parent is being abusive?

Answer 1

There is such a fine line regarding discipline. Some people consider spankings abuse, while others don't. Personally, I agree with spankings (not beatings) and only as a last resort. It is up to parents to prepare their children for the real world, so if we fall into the cracks of explaining our every move to our children (most parents don't have the time for this) instead of doing what mom or dad say in the first place, then those kids are in for a culture shock when they get out in the real world. Boss' or anyone else are not going to molly coddle anyone out there.

VERBAL ABUSE:Calling you children stupidTelling your children they'll never make it in the outside worldPutting fear into the children's head such as: I'll give you up for adoption if you don't smarten up."Swearing and calling their children namesNot spending some quality of time with them and the time the parent(s) does have with the child is constantly telling the child how inept they are and how disappointed the parent is of them.

PHYSICAL ABUSE:Beating with a strap or objectSlapping a child's faceTwisting their arms, shoving, kicking, scratching, pushing or throwing them around the room.Bodily injuries such as black eyes, split lips, missing teeth or broken bones.

The reality out there is, parents work hard, and I'm a believer, that if possible, at least the mother (or father) should be home with children until they at least start school. Those first few years mold the personality of children. Children need someone to lean on, be loved, and learn the word "no!" Children need to know there is someone at home to heal their little minds and bodies when things get tough out in the world.

Manuals don't come for raising children, and yes, parents will make some mistakes, but for the most part parents really do care about their kids. If the kids aren't listening and refusing to do chores around the house (expecting a free ride simply because they live in their parent's home) or they don't come home in time; don't do their homework; hang out with the wrong crowd or do drugs or alcohol then parents are going to do everything they can to help their children and if it means yelling or threatening then I say "whatever it takes" to keep your kids safe. Psychologists will often say that yelling gets you nowhere and there is truth in that statement, but the real world out there is the fact, that some parents (if they have problem kids) are human and become stressed out and sometimes lose it and who could blame them. Beatings on children should NEVER be tolerated.

I hear often from many parents that one of them simply can't stay home with their kids as it's too expensive to live, but I say this: Get rid of the two new cars and get a couple of older cars. Live in a modest home instead of a larger home, etc. It can be done! Some parents aren't fortunate enough to have good paying jobs and so, sometimes it takes two parents, but it's quality of time you spend with your children and not 24 hours of ignoring your kids.

Seeing parents as individuals first, then parents second often helps older children realize that indeed mom and dad aren't so different than they are. Parents have problems and fears and most do the very best they can. Kids that feel they are mature (and some are) pitch in and help around the house and do everything they can as a family to make ends meet. You don't need a lot of money to have a loving home and laughter.

Marcy