Should you hate your ex boyfriend who cheated on you?

Answer 1

Hate is a natural response especially if you have loved or cared for somone who has hurt you and left your life. That said, hate hurts many people and you'll find it hurts you the most. There is nothing worse than loving someone and now have bitterness that grows in you. It will stunt your growth and hurt your future.

You have been betrayed. Grieve over that now. Read about how ot deal with grief. Read books that teach about healthy relationships (not give you simple answers about things). Take it from someone who was robbed of a lot of years over anger. No situation happens in a vacuum. Your ex is responsible for not treating you as something precious and not treating you and all those involved with value and acting in restraint. However, there are ways you are responsible in how you were treated. To grow and get better we have to have humility to look for that, look for ways that we did not love the other or ourselves in appropriate ways that build trust and committment.

My story is that I carried alot of pain over betrayals and 6 years after the fact, I am now dealing with feelings of love for someone who I can see I also wronged in many ways. That person is no longer available to me.

Did he do wrong? Yes. But if you go for the emotion of hate, you'll be dealing with this situation again much later than need be. More likely with someone else. You can love someone without ever giving them the love they need. You can love someone who does not have the ability to love you and at times that person communicates that clearly. If you choose to go forward, what use is hating them for what they told you would happen? Better to understand that you are worth more, want more and turn away before your feelings are further engaged. The best protection, I think, is to demystify what is going on in a POTENTIAL relationship before it starts so you can make a good decision and when it is right, you can give your heart to someone who will treat it as a gift to him.