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A couple months after me and N broke up, he drove by my house at the exact moment as I was walking out to my car. A few hours later I get a text message from his fat gf's phone saying that they got married that day and wanted to let me know. Then she (or maybe he) went on to insult me and devaluing our 1.5 yr relationship. It turns out they never got married. My theory is that he got caught driving by my house, so he went to the extreme of texting me from HER phone, saying they got married. I guess he felt dumb driving by my house and the getting married thing was the only thing he could think of as to why he was driving by my house. CRAZY !

I work for an N and, because I feel I am educated about this personality disorder, I adore him totally. Education is the key, I truly believe that. But I know I am a major NS for him because I am great at what I do and make his job and life much easier, not to mention making him look good in our business world. My N tells tall tales about his financial situation, his property assets, how much money he spends on "things," and he is the most awesome flatterer I have ever met. With the internet, it is very easy for me to verify what he is telling me, or expose it as an untruth. But I never confront him with it, not ever. I understand the roots of his personality and what led up to it and I do sympathize with that. But I simply listen to all the tall tales and nod and smile and say, "Wow!" a lot. It works for both of us because I can be his NS and he builds up my self-esteem with flattery and compliments and makes me feel like I am accomplishing something career-wise. So there are plenty of untruths and I'm sure the flattery and compliments are a "tactic" he uses to keep me as his NS and also to keep me working for him to his advantage and reputation. But it works for us.

REPLYMy N. would make sure I felt like garbage so I always went back to him. the truth of the matter was, he was really jealous of me and tried to hold me down. he'd ask me to hang out and then bail at the last second. I was constantly on edge and anxious - minutes passing felt like days. He had me waiting on him every beck and call and I didn't realize it until years and years and years later. One time, I found out he was cheating on me. We went to a mutual friend's party and he asked to talk to me and he was saying how sorry he was bla bla bla. I told him I didn't care it was over (the girl he was cheating on me with was a secondary NS so he kept going back to her). He took out his phone, put it on speaker, called her and told her he was in love with me and he couldn't have anything to do with her anymore. I was so happy after that. I felt like I was on cloud 9. Come to find out a few months later, the day after the party he called her like nothing happened, and said I was MAKING HIM call her and he didnt mean any of it. Funny huh?

REPLY:-

The N in my life is my step-son. He is 23 and has recently moved back home with me and my partner (his father). In my case I don't think that I am necessarily the NS, its his father that he is constantly trying to impress and I just happen to be in the way.....!! Unfortunately this makes life very difficult, but I can see through his lies and tactics because I have read a lot about this condition and understand his motives, but it doesnt make it any easier. He has lied about everything possible - from his work and his achievements, to stupid things like one day he pretended he was going to visit a friend 200 miles away just because his father also had to make a long journey to visit a sick relative......Of course my partner often questions his lies as any father needs to, and when he is in a hole he just doesnt know when to stop digging, and will tell lie on top of lie in order to try and wriggle his way out of things....!! Usually once he is caught out and he knows that he is in a corner he will then resort to tears and hysterics about something or other in order to try and turn the tables and look for the sympathy card...... his latest one is that he is being bullied at work.....!! More likely HE is the one doing the bullying...... Quite frankly I find this kind of behaviour quite nausiating and life at home is at the best of times very tense and uncomfortable as he sees me as an obstacle in the way of his NS (attention from his father)...and he tries to belittle and put me down at any opportunity he possibly can. He has even been known to have fiddled with the central heating timer and then blamed me when the heating wouldn't switch off in order to try and cause an argument between me and his father. I have even contemplated leaving, but the thing that prevents me is that I know that ultimately that is what he wants...! So I try to just pretend like he doesnt even exist most of the time, and only speak to him as and when I absolutely have to. Quite frankly I wouldn't waste my p**s on him if he was on fire...!!

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Q: What are some crazy lies or tactics your narcissist has used on you?
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