What jokes make people laugh?

Answer 1

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay the would be called bagels.

What do you call someone with three arms, two tongues, and five arms? A Liar!!

Ok, here's one:

there's a blonde and she has two horses. she calls her friend, and says, "Bob, I can't tell my horses apart, and I have to so I can feed them the right amount!" Bob says,"Ok, why don't you cut one of the horse's tail shorter than the other?" The blonde does, but it grows back. she tells this to bob and he says,"why don't you tie a ribion around one of their necks?" She does, but it comes off while they were playing. Bob finally tells her to measure both the horses. she does, and the next day, she calls Bob;

"Bob, Bob, it worked!!! the black horse is two inches taller than the white one!!"

What is the longest word in the dictionary?

the word smiles because there is a mile between each s.

WARNING DIRTY JOKE!

There is a teacher that asks "there are 5 birds on a power line, you shoot one how many are left?" a kid raises his hand and says "none, because all the rest would fly away." she replies "that's not the answer i was looking for, but i like the way you are thinking." the kid says "now i have a question for you; there are three girls with an ice cream cone each one is biting it, sucking it, and one is licking it; how do you know which one is married?" the teacher replies in a stuttering voice, "the one sucking...?" he says "...the answer is the one wearing a ring, that's not the answer i was looking for but i like the way your thinking." =P

Nice ones. I have some I heard in school!

There were 3 boys. One with a hammer, one with a knife, and one with a bomb. The first one got on a plane and accidentally dropped his hammer out of the window. He got off and saw a little boy crying. He asked," Little boy, little boy, why are you crying?" "A hammer fell on my father and now he is unconscious!"

The second one got on a plane and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. He saw a little girl crying. He asked the little girl," Little girl, little girl, why are you crying? "A knife fell on my mother and now she's dead!"

So then the last one gets on a plane. He accidentally dropped his bomb out of the window. He gets off and sees a little boy laughing. He asks the little boy," Little boy, little boy, why are you laughing? "Because my grandmother farted and it blew up the house!"

2 men walked into a bar. The first one betted that he could jump from the 20th floor and land safely on the first floor. The other one said," You're on!" So he jumped down and landed on the first floor safely and unharmed. The other one

Asked him," How did you do that?" "With my magic beer!" So the guy ordered one and jumped, fell, and died. Then the bartender said, "You know, superman, you're really mean when you're drunk!"

There were 3 boys and a tower with 100 steps. Each step has a joke on it. The first one climbed up 20 steps then laughed. The next one climbed up 50 steps then laughed. The last one climbed up 99 steps then laughed. The other two asked," Why did you laugh? You were so close!" Then he said," Because I just got the first joke! sorry their big, I wrote them down, copied it, and it was bigger.

Answer 2

get some ideas from friends or get a joke book

or

do a bit of people watching in the local shopping mall, people do the silliest things, and u can then tell them on, i think when a joke is about something real,and that we can all emphathise with it turns out akll the better!! worth a try see what u thnk

Answer 3

The person that tells it

Answer:

Jokes can be oral, written or acted out so the :funny" must be outside of the delivery system or the skill pf the contributor.

There is some thought that the mind is neural net where ideas are linked as thy happen. When a unique idea or an unexpected connection occurs we acknowledge this with a verbalization (Aha!, Wow!, Yes!, etc.)

The humour in a new joke or sight gag comes from an unexpected juxtaposition of words or images (What is brown and sticky? Ans. A Stick!). This new idea or connection elicits a response (Haha!)

The fact that we don't laugh at the same joke twice indicates that our neural net has already processed that unique connection and does not produce the "new thing" response even if it doe get a groan or a "Heard that already!" response.

Therefore the funniness of a joke is more related to its freshness and the new and unique material it contains than any other factor.

Answer 4

Well, I have six of them.

What has a head and a tail but no body? A Penny Proud!!

How does a polar bear build its home? Igloo's it together!

What did the male gun say to the female gun? Were gonna have a BEBE!

What do you call a shark in the desert? Lost!

Why did the man sleep under the car? He wanted to get up oily in the morning!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Hannah Montana!(sorry for those who like Hannah Montana.)

HOPE I HELPED! :) :) :) :) :) :)

Answer 5

Chuck Norris jokes.

Another Perspective:

All of them.