What is a blonde joke?

Answer 1

Actually, blonde jokes started a long time ago, but not because of Marilyn Monroe. It seems it has to do with the old saying that "blondes have all the fun" and the unfair caricature of blonde women on television. They were portrayed as being pretty but not having much else going for them.

Answer 2

Two blondes walk into a building. Thud, thud.

(you would think one of them would have noticed it)

---

There are 3 girls in an 8th grade class: a blonde, redhead and brunette. Which has the biggest bra size?

A: The blond does because she's 21!

---

How do you murder a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of your pool.

---

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street. The brunette says, "Oh, look at that, a poor dead bird." The blonde looks up in the sky and says, "Where?"

---

Why did the blonde stare at her Orange Juice? The package said "Concentrate."

---

A blonde saw a YMCA sign and said, "HAHA! They misspelled 'Macy's'!"

---

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence.

---

A blonde was driving to visit Disneyland and saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left", so she turned round and went home.

---

How do you keep a blonde entertained? Give her a piece of paper that says "turn over" on both sides.

---

A blonde accidentally drives her car into the back of a lorry. The lorry driver gets out - draws a circle on the ground and says "Stand in the circle, don't step out of it until I say so." When she gets in the circle, he turns round and smashes her car window. She just laughs. So he goes back and punctures the petrol tank, and it all leaks out. She laughs again. So he takes out a crowbar and smashes the front of the car, breaks the keys, and flattens the tires. He turns round to see her laughing again. So he yells "WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?" The blonde replies: "Every time you turned round, I stepped out of the circle."

---

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

---

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

---

How do you confuse a blonde? You don't..they are born that way!

---

How do you confuse a blonde? Put them in a circular room and tell them to sit in the corner.

---

What did the blonde think was in the Cheerios box? Donut seeds.

---

What is the similarity between a UFO and a smart blonde? You always hear about them but you never see one.

---

Why did the blonde only change her baby's diaper once a month? Because the box said good for up to 20 pounds.

---

How do you get a one armed blonde out of the tree? Wave at her. Why was the blonde in the tree? She was raking the leaves.

---

What do you get when you put ten blondes in a refrigerator? Frosted Flakes

---

Did you hear about the blonde swimmer who lost a breaststroke race? She complained that everyone else was using their arms.

---

There was this blonde and she wanted to get her hair done. She goes to a barber and asks to get her hair layered. Later, as the barber got to the top of her head, he asked her to take off her headphones. She didn't respond. Finally, after he asked her two more times and she still didn't listen, he decided to take them off so he could finish. When he took them off, the blonde fell over dead. He picked up her headphones to find out what she was listening to, and the speakers said over and over again: "Breathe in, breathe out - breathe in, breathe out."

---

A blonde goes into a store and asks the salesman, "How much is this TV?" He replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to dumb blondes." Insulted, she leaves, goes home, puts on a brunette wig and dark glasses, and goes back to the store. She asks the salesman, "How much is this TV?" and again he replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to dumb blondes." She yanks off the disguise and says, "How did you know I was a blonde?" He says, "Because that's a microwave oven."

---

Why did the blonde put a ruler under her pillow?

A: She wanted to see how long she was sleeping.

---

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

A: Pull out the pin and throw it back.

---

Blond Guy Joke

A Mexican, an Italian, and a blond guy are all construction workers. On their lunch break, they sit on the top of the building. One day, the Mexican opened up his lunch and said, "If have to eat another burrito, I'm going to jump off this building!" The Italian opened up his lunch, and said, "If I have to eat spaghetti again, I'm going to jump off this building!" Then the blond guy opens up his lunch, and says, "If I have to eat peanut butter and jelly again, I'm going to jump off this building!"

The next day, the Mexican opened up his lunch, found a burrito, and jumped off the building, and died. Then the Italian opened up his lunch, found spaghetti, jumped off the building, and died. Finally, the blond opened up his lunch, found peanut butter and jelly, jumped off the building, and died.

Two days later, they are all at the same funeral home, and their wives meet each other. The Mexican wife says crying, "If he'd told me, I would have packed him something else." The Italian wife says "If I knew he hated spaghetti, I would have packed something else. The wife of the blond guy is crying the hardest, and says, "He packed his own lunch!"

---

A blonde decides to learn horseback riding. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try to throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. She is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when just in time, Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, runs out to shut the horse off.

---

(see the related question for more)

Answer 3

The first blonde joke was this:

The brown, the blonde, and the brunette were stranded on an island. They found a magical seashell that each granted them 1 wish. The brown wished to go back home. She disappeared and transported back home. The brunette also wished to go back home. She also disappeared and transported back home. The blonde said, "I'm lonely, I wish my friends were back here!"

Answer 4

Blonde jokes aren't funny, especially if you are blonde. They are just demeaning.

Here's one that always gets some laughs:

Two blonde girls were sitting on the couch watching the evening news. They heard that two Brazilian people were killed in a plane crash. The blondes immediately broke down crying. Finally, one blonde girl asked the other through tears, "How many is a brazillion?!"

But do not try it! It will hurt people's feelings if they are blonde.

Answer 5

A Blonde and a Brunette are falling off a building at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

The Brunette because the Blonde has to stop for directions.

Answer 6

It has become a sort of tradition to crack jokes on blondes.The exact reason is still unclear.

Answer 7

Nothing to worry your pretty little head about dear! This is what is with blonde jokes: Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? A: Divorced.

Answer 8

There are so many, Wiki answers can't list them all.

Answer 9

A bald-headed fille .