How do you handle a daughter's physically and emotionally abusive relationship?

Answer 1

AnwserThe abuser and his victims sometimes form a bond that is difficult to break. This phenomenon is called "shared psychosis", "Follies a deux", and, in more extreme cases, "The Stockholm Syndrome."

This is why it may be difficult to "open her eyes" to reality. She may resent you and come to regard yopu as a dangerous enemy, threatening her marital "bliss".

I'm glad somebody asked this question! Unfortunately, it took A LOT for me to open my eyes. I had a sort of epiphany when my dad forced the phone out of my hands while I was crying because my abuser was at it again, and knocked some sense into me. I'm not condoning hitting anyone, just be very, very firm. After this ordeal, I ran away and hid in the woods for a few hours. But when I came out of hiding, my mother was cold and distant, and my father apologized for what he did and tried to be understanding. He told me that he would allow the relationship to go on, and for me to be an adult and make my own mistakes. I took this and ran, and kept talking to my abuser. I told him the next time that we faught, I'd leave him because of the ordeal with my parents. He agreed. And then picked a fight with me two days later, bad mouthed my parents, etc etc. I finally started to realize that I was in denial, and that he was abusive, and in time, I cut my losses and left. There really is no specific way to get your daughter to get out of an abusive relationship, other than to point out to her what is obvious to you, and try to be understanding and patient. In time she will realize what's going on, and let you know, and look to you for support. Make sure you're there for her.

ANSWER: I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. The way i felt, and sometimes still feel, is that he was the only one for me.....that he was THE one. I still have a deep love for him. Because of the love and attatchment that go into these kinds of relationships, especially on the side of the girl, its impossible to force her to leave the relationship. Talk to her about it, don't be in her face, dont be rude. Just explain how you feel. Attacking her decision to stay in the relationship is NEVER a good idea. you have to work with her..and dont forbid contact..my parents tried that, it only made me want to stay with him more. You have to be patient, and you have to be there when she needs you. Eventually, she will see whats wrong.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, if your daughter won't listen to good advice and she is in denial there isn't much you can do, unless her spouse is physically abusive to her in your home and then you have every right to phone the police and have him arrested. Women that are abused are not stupid. An abuser (without realizing it) makes their web around their victim like a spider to a fly. It can start out very suttle and end up ugly. Some good signs of an abusive personality are a person that does not like interacting with her family on occasion, or they refuse to mingle with her friends and often abusers love to move to either another town or to a deserted area. They usually pick out-of- the-way places where they can surround themselves with their own familiar environment and render their victim useless. Abusers usually come from disfunctional families, but every so often you get one that has had a great up-bringing and is just mean to the bone. An abuser will first start picking away at the abused by lowering their self esteem. Then they will methodically plan their next attack which is to put the fear of God into her. They may even tell her if she doesn't shut-up and keep their dirty little secret quiet he will harm her family or (in many cases) take the children away from her and she'll never see them again. The above sounds dramatic and surreal, but believe me when I say it isn't. I help abused women so I have heard many different scenerios and they don't make a pretty picture. When you can, just tell your daughter you love her and that you are always there for her and if she decides to leave him you will be there for her. If you ignore or insult her abuser he has the power to keep your daughter from you. You want to stay in contact so bite your tongue and pick your time to try and get this guy away from her. I suggest you get in touch with your local "Women's Abuse Center" in your area (if you can't find them, then phone Mental Health in your area and they will put you in touch with the Abused Women's Center) and they will be happy to guide you through trying to free your daughter from this guy. Good luck God Bless Marcy For guidance you might wish to contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Their site can be found at... http://www.ndvh.org

Answer 3

You can't do much of anything for your daughter, but you know there's an old saying that "People will only do to you, what you allow them to do" so until your daughter realizes that this is an unhealthy relationship you can talk to her to your blue in your face if she doesn't want to leave she's not going to it may drive her closer to him so my advice is this pray about it and turn it over to your higher power and let him figure it out he'll know exactly what to do and when he says it's finish, it's finish

Answer 4

Keep her close and give her as much attention and love as possible. Try to re-build her self esteem! Based on her personality, if necessary seek for outside help. Find any way possible to make sure that the abuser does get close to her (make sure that she understands that she made the right decison by leaving), people in relationships of this case usually tend to go back because they feel that no one else loves them. Family and friends are the best support!

Answer 5

You mostly likely don't, because you can't. Your daughter gets to pick her own relationships, and she gets to do so in as stupid a fashion as she chooses. You may be able to help her if she decides to leave the abusive relationship and get to a safer space, but this is a decision she has to make on her own.