What would you like to do?
It sounds to me like he won't leave you alone - and you won't leave him alone! Answer I've read this many times and have found it to be TRUE in my circumstance...stay COMPLETELY away from the N. Not a word, not a smile, not a glance. Don't feel guilty for ignoring him. You mean nothing to him, no matter what he might say (lie) to you. He just wants to use you. He also wants to make up just long enough to put you in your place and let you know that all the problems were your fault. Don't fall for that. If you COMPLETELY ignore him, you will prove to be of no use to him and he'll go away. Answer Ignore him and do not show any emotions around him such as fear and hurt. Show indifference. They will move on once they see your strength. Answer Accuse him of something he know he's done but didn't want to fess up about. Something major. Also, once you let them see that you're not available to them they will go away.
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Be sure to maintain as much contact with your abuser as the courts, counsellors, mediators, guardians, or law enforcement officials mandate. Do NOT contravene the decisions …of the system. Work from the inside to change judgments, evaluations, or rulings - but NEVER rebel against them or ignore them. You will only turn the system against you and your interests. But with the exception of the minimum mandated by the courts - decline any and all gratuitous contact with the narcissist. Do not respond to his pleading, romantic, nostalgic, flattering, or threatening e-mail messages. Return all gifts he sends you. Refuse him entry to your premises. Do not even respond to the intercom. Do not talk to him on the phone. Hang up the minute you hear his voice while making clear to him, in a single, polite but firm, sentence, that you are determined not to talk to him. Do not answer his letters. Do not visit him on special occasions, or in emergencies. Do not respond to questions, requests, or pleas forwarded to you through third parties. Disconnect from third parties whom you know are spying on you at his behest. Do not discuss him with your children. Do not gossip about him. Do not ask him for anything, even if you are in dire need. When you are forced to meet him, do not discuss your personal affairs - or his. Relegate any inevitable contact with him - when and where possible - to professionals: your lawyer, or your accountant. Leave them alone and ask God to protect you from them. You will have to be strong to follow the instructions mentioned above. You will have to remind yourself constantly of the grief and heartbreak. They want to hook back up for more of your devotion and support. Narcissists don't like feeling unimportant. Getting them to leave you alone requires you to be on guard to their ways. This website is a blessing! You may still be drawn to them until you finally really get it. All they can really care about is their make-believe self. One more thing - NEVER LET THEM BACK INTO YOUR LIFE! If you must, love from afar. I've thought about changing my name and moving down to rural Mexico, aside from that there doesn't seem to be a way. Perhpas there is a whole town in Mexico w/ NPD victims as a result and we could share stories. You get as far away as possible, cut off all contact from them, and anyone that is associated with them. This includes family members. I'm convinced that a N never leaves you alone. Once you've been supply, the N will re-visit to time eternal to see if more supply isn't available, especially in between lapses of whatever supply your were replaced with. The N will do this sometimes in ways that a normal, healthy person can not comprehend -- like joining the same gym, or going to the same dentist. As long as the N shares something with you, that's their way of thinking they are still controlling the situation. If they actually reach out to you, via phone, mail, email, etc., ignore them. Block their email, unpublish your phone number, don't discuss personal issues with people you know are his informants (this is tempting, I know, but don't do it), and don't respond to anything. But do this for YOU, not so the N will leave you alone. There is a lot of advice on this site that ignoring the N will make them leave you alone, but I actually think it empowers them to try harder...even if the effort is years later. They are patient predators. To me, the "leaving you alone" part is going to have to be in your own psyche and in your emotions. Having successful, normal, healthy relationships with others IS the N "leaving you alone." You know what I mean? If the person continues to bother you, get an order of protection with the restriction that the person must stay 20 miles away from you at all times. When the issuing judge asks why, you tell the judge that you fear for your life due to the nature of the advances of this creep.
How do you get narcissist to leave you alone after he dumps you then comes back over and over and is this a common trait of narcissists?
Answer The narcissist is looking for attention and whatever else you can give him. You need to show no interest, no emotion, nothing. Don't show anger or sadness …or even listen to them. Don't pick up the phone. Don't answer the door if its them. Ignore them. They'll eventually go away when they realize you have nothing for them. And they'll move on to their next victim.
Answer The only way is NO CONTACT ever again. Do not fool yourself during lonely moments and make excuses to see the N. Not even to rub his face into how g…ood you look and are doing. Dont because they have a way of tearing you down once they see you moving on. And until you are completely over him/her you can be persuaded even when you dont think so, if they push the right buttons. The person I was involved with did this over and over. Each time I felt more deflated and weak. Until I finally had enough and ended all contact. He saw me doing well and followed me to my car one day. Oh he acted so casual like it was a mere coincidence running into me. He then proceeeded to chat me up in such a non chalont way and i wanted his approval. WITHIN TWO HOURS he was being mean and saying horrible things to me. He saw that I was hooked in again and pounced! I finally at that moment looked at him and said this will be the last time we ever talk. I told him he was a coward and it was time for me to let him go. He has since tried to get my attention by resorting to childish and pathetic manouveres. I ignore him. I dont show hate, love, like, anger, pity. I show NOTHING. It enrages him. I guarantee he has moved on and is already in the process of wrecking someones life. Im fortunate that I finally got a backbone and told him to get lost. I have stayed away from him. Tell yourself at these weak moments that what you will get back is the same old misery. Except it will be even worse. I guarantee he or she will will be furious that you ended the relationship/marriage and they will see it as payback time. Then he/she will attempt to wear you down even more. Do not wait for the time to arrive (and it will if you stay) that you lose yourself completely. Right now it may feel like your self esteem and pride is gone. However you can get these back by staying away from the N. However if you take them back you may lose these things for good and never bounce back. Stay away from misery. Life is too short.
Answer Possibly, however men can be jerks and who knows, if you don't want to be with him, leave him and just try to forget he ever existed.
In my experience, No. A Narcissist needs constant attention. He is terrified of abandonment. Mine created such a mess of my life and I did NOT leave. So he pretended to be mak…ing things better as he lined up a way to dump me that would hurt the most. Then one day, no fight, out of nowhere he dumped me. To punish me for not providing the supply (admiration) that he needed constantly. When I responded to his dumping I attacked his sense of grandiosity. And it was on. I had to block EVERY avenue of access. He accused me of everything from "wire tapping" to "character assassination." He sends "accidentally" sends me texts that are meant for other women. He's had other women contact me to tell me that they are having lovely sex and will be taking my child from me. In my experience, you have to block a narcissist and watch your back. Because the "quiet" is what drives them crazy. They can't take it. You have to protect yourself from their rages.
What if you have been his meal ticket what are the chances that the narcissist will leave you alone?
Not good. 2 words for you: RESTRAINING ORDER.
keep it a secert and tell no one move away seek mental help to understand New Answer-i agree with the answer above but do read about it to educate yourself and knowing that wh…atever you think you could have done to improve the relationship would be impossible....Is not you is them...
I had a friend who is a narcissist and I can tell you that at first no they don't. They find ways to make jabs at you any way possible the importent thing is not to resp…ond to it as angry as they make you. This friend I had wrote letters, wrote on my car, posted comments, tried to get her side of the story out to all the friends before she even talked to me. She was playing the victim card so that people would feel sorry for her. Bottom line is that it didn't work. Slowly friends started to realize and because I wouldn't respond she backed off... I still see her because we have mutal friends, but I have learned that I need to keep my distance from her because as long as I'm around she will always try to attack, or make jabs any chance she gets. I just laugh it off and feel sorry for her because she has this very terrible misconception of being better than everyone when in reality she is still stuck in HS.
Nope they enjoy the company of others- narcissistic supply!
No contact. change your phone, your emails, block & delete her and do not allow her in your home anymore.
Some people can love themselves so much that they don't believe that anyone wouldn't want them. Your ex sounds like one of these people. It's possible that he or she just thin…ks that you are a park of this picture that she's created for herself (or himself). One of you is the "trophy wife" and the other person is the reason why this position exists in the first place in this relationship. He or she may want the position in society that they had perceived themselves to be in when you were their partner. But this is only if the ex is a true narcissist. I've found that some people are just overcompensating because they aren't truly comfortable with themselves.
place a mirror in front of him
Narcissists can't be alone!! They have to have a supply / victim. I was a victim for 6 years and have been free for one year! He still continues to try to have me back in hi…s life (when he is done with his next supply). When I do not respond he still does everything he can to hurt me. I am afraid that I will end up living with the torment until he either ends up in prison or dies from alcohol / drug abuse. One year free of the N.
Because they are desperate for the attention and devotion you give them.It is a drug to them and like every drug addict, they will eventually come back around when other suppl…iers are gone or they start to miss your devotion to their ego.It`s all about them.I am literally on the tail end of the most devastating relationship i have ever tried to have with someone.I am only re establishing in my mind after six months of abuse and countless sad self questioning sessions that she is a narcissist and a cruel self serving individual who will call me anything and everything that suits her when it suits her if she doesn`t get her way.An absolutely disgusting,self hating,self adoring,sick twisted mind that must have someone to feed on or they will be forced to look at themselves and they can`t handle that because they know they are the walking dead.There is no soul,nothing,an empty void,just black.that is terrifying to them.So in conclusion to your question.Because you are a beautiful flower and the narcissist is like the bee that needs to drain the nectar from within that beauty flower in order to survive.i couldn`t think of a better metaphor.But you get the point.Shame i had to use bee`s and flowers because they are pure and beautiful.Where as the narcissist is pure evil.Best action that stops them dead and hurts them.NO CONTACT AT ALL!!! It drives them insane! All power to you.
As long as a narcissist has a mirror, they are with the person they love the most. The narcissist does not want his real self to be revealed. He/she only wants to be acknowle…dged as superior and better then he/she really is. So every time he/she is around other people, there will always be a chance someone recognising him as a phony, because he/she will be playing a role. So when he does not feel strong and confident enough, he withdraws to be with the one and only person he trusts to gladly be fooled - hem/herself. A narcissist can only hide himself the most from himself, because he will cooperate perfectly in this game of fooling himself. So in fact, a narcissist is not really hiding himself from others, he is hiding from people so he does not have to be confronted with himself, the person he in fact is ashamed of. That's why you NEED to learn to love yourself as you are!!! With all your weaknesses, all your troubles etc... In fact you are not weak at all and you'll gain strength by appreciating yourself. Good luck! By the way, I used to be a narcissist 13 years ago and now I'm healed, I can only understand narcissists by memories of how I used to think. Otherwise I am as puzzled and stunned by their behavior as anyone else.
I would ignore his phone calls and use their own excuse, "I didn't know that you called". My exN is so irresponsible he couldn't keep up with the child support payments. He go…t so far behind I took him to court. He was going to go to jail but we made a deal. I dropped it if he would relinquish his parental rights, which he did. He was more concerned about saving his own *** then to be part of his daughter's life. I thank God he did! Now my daughter will not be part of his dysfunctional life!
Yes, like everyone.