What do you do when you are emotionally devastated?

Answer 1

As a 54-year-old daughter, mother and grandmother, I have experienced many emotionally devastating experiences. Everyone of these experiences came with a different set of circumstances, example: before children and after children.

My 1st experience was my divorce no children. I dealt with it by moving 500 miles away to my brother's and began drinking. Age 21

My 2nd experience of emotional devastation was being raped and sodomized.

I had 2 children and one on the way. I didn't "DO" anything. I didn't deal with it. I kept myself so busy. I had to block it out. Age 24

My 3rd experience of emotional devastation. was divorcing the father of my children [whom I had met and married during my 'drinking' period; rebound]. His drinking became worse and worse. I did not want my/our children to see him like this. I divorced him, even though I still loved him very much. I dealt with this by moving 500 miles back to my home town and lived next door to my parents. I also wrote love letters for 2 years that I kept under my mattress and never mailed. He had made it clear that he did not want the children choosing beer over them. Age 26 - daughters 1 week 1 year - 2 years

My 4th emotional devastation was when one of my brother's [while under the influence of cocaine and alcohol], beat me so bad I almost died... If that was not enough. My mother consoled him and not me. Later she would tell me. "You're always the strong one. He needed me more."... I said, "You were wrong this time." Then my parents begged me not to file charges. My sense of betrayal was unbearable. I tried praying and talking with my 2 close friends. But things could never be the same within our family dynamics. Age 30 - My daughters - 4-5-6.

From age 30 to 54 - my entire life was total devastation.

I was stalked on and off government property for over a year by a male coworker;

I lost my 16-year Federal career;

I lost my home of 22 years;

by age 42...I had over 50 medical problems [I applied and received Social Security Disability].

My family disowned me. They did not want to see me or talk to me. My own daughters did not want anything to do with me. They didn't want to know what my medical problems were. They just wanted me to go to a Nursing Home at age 42.

This devastation would turn into... 3 years of agoraphobia, living in a 12x10 bedroom.

I spent the past 5 years crying nonstop, and still I am still a little agoraphobic.

I only leave the house one day a month. The 'stalking' had to be the most destructive evil thing that can ever happen to anyone. You become very paranoid, where I feared nothing. I now fear most things.

If all this was not enough... I was in a fatal car accident... 03-04-05... although the accident was not my fault... I would now live with the Horror of taking another person's life... I killed her instantly.

I have no interaction from my family although I live 4 miles away from family members. I receive no phone calls... not even pictures of my 5 grandchildren...

Only the oldest grandchild age 10... knows who I am.

So, I sit on my chair/bed day after day... 24/7 using my computer; reading; and watching TV... never looking out the windows.

I have done some [personal experience], counseling online in a few Support Rooms... If there's something I know about it's - depression; suicidal thoughts; medications that help these symptoms; and giving them HOPE... which we all need and our need to help others.

Answer 2

If you are having an emotional breakdown, you probably know what's causing it. Get a blank sheet of paper and write down a numbered list of the top ten things bothering you. First of all realize that you can't fix everything in your life overnight. It's a continuous process. Commit to this process.

Any of those things on the list you can distance yourself from, you should resolve to distance yourself from, or make a solid plan to distance yourself from it in the near or even distant future.

For any of the things on the list which you can't avoid or control: realize that you can't control it but you can control how you react to it, to some extent whether great or small. With this realization you should feel more empowered and thus more in control and thus less stressed and less hopeless.

If you revisit and rewrite this list daily for a while you will see your sense of empowerment increase, and hopefully your anxiety will be kept in check.