The proper way to list a husband and wife when acknowledging them in a program would be 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith.' You might also say 'Dr. and Mr. Smith' or 'Jane and John Smith'.
Dr. and Mr. Smith
The husband's name is listed first.
He can list but to sell it she will have to sign the paperwork.
Major and Mrs . . .
doesn't matter
Like the words mom, dad, uncle, etc, wife would be capitalized if it is used as a proper noun, like a name. If it is not a proper noun, it is not capitalized. For example, "Wife, bring me my slippers" vs "I would like my wife to bring me my slippers"
Dear Mr. John and Rev. Sally Smith,
Addressing a Mayor and his wife: Mayor & Mrs. John Smith
Addressing letter for a husband and wife team:Mr. & Mrs. John DoeDrs. John and Jane DoePastors John and Jane DoeManagers, John and Jane Doe
The ex husband should come alone (without his girlfriend or second wife) and sit on the side of his ex wife's family. If you have a girlfriend or you're remarried it would be in poor taste to bring your mate to your ex wife's funeral.
husband