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It's not easy to spot a gay boyfriend or husband if they are a "closet gay." There are times when gay people don't even know they are gay and they try desperately to change their feelings without much success. I do have gay friends and have gone through a lot with them as far as their feelings and fears. I have always told them to remain true to themselves, and my husband and I accept them for whom they are, not the fact they are gay. People should start learning how horrendous it is for many gays to admit they are this way and for many years have had to live with ridicule and beatings simply because they were gay, and being called "queer!" Think of this one: you have a male friend for years and you finally figured out you are gay. Although you don't want to have a relationship with your best friend you want to be honest. It's tough to look your lifelong friend in the face (especially males) and say, "Gee, Jim, I've just figured out I'm gay." The gay person never knows if this will repulse their friend or the friend may not want to hang around with him anymore for fear of being considered gay. There's a lot to lose when someone has to admit he is gay. The honest truth of the matter for ALL of us is that, even if for just a fleeting thought, at least once in our lives we have wondered what it would be like with a same-sex partner! That's reality folks! == == ---- == == Check the history on the computer, tell em you have a fantasy about seeing two guys together and see how he reacts. ---- Most men that we desire, (like Tom Cruise, or Bruce Willis) seem very manly but in reality dye their hair, have manicures and certainly know how to dress! In our society, women are looking more and more for this type of men, sensitive, romantic and fashion friendly, instead of the typical macho. anyway if you are married and you doubt whether your husband is gay, definitely the stereotype ways of finding out if he is gay won't work. Your husband could be homophobic and gay, and this is why he married you. The point is: why do you think he is gay? You think he looks at other men? He won't have sex the traditional way? Instead of sitting down and asking your husband 'Are you gay?'who's answer will be obviously, 'I married you I'm not gay!' Ask him: 'Why do you look at other men?' or 'Why can't we have sex the traditional way?' ---- That last answer about not wanting to have sex the traditional way is rubbish. Straight men have sex in lots of ways, including anal sex. That has nothing to do with being gay. If he is sexually attracted to other men, he is. pretty simple. ---- If your husband is cheating in any way gay or not the signs will be the same as if he was straight. He could be bisexual, bi-curious or just into kinky things as well. To find out if he is gay would have to come directly from him or to actually witness it. You may want to go straight to the source, him, and have a mature calm talk about how you feel, your suspicions and any thing else that needs to be said. If it ends up that he is, I realize it may come as somewhat of a shock but you're his wife and he trusts you. You (and he) will need support and a friend because he has been living with this secret (if it is so) for some time trying to hide it, being "normal" and living a straight life - so he is just as embarrassed hurt, shocked, upset and confused. I have a person very close to me that their husband ended up being gay. ---- If you really suspect he has been having sex with men, then you must use a condomwhen having sex with him. Married men who have sex with other men are often in denial about being gay, but there is a chance he could pass on HIV, and you and he would regret that for the rest of your lives. ----

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Q: What signs do you look for to find out if your husband is gay?
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