When my son is returned from court ordered visitations his father becomes explosive at the smallest things by yelling etc. How do I stop this?

Answer 1

First, you must make certain you are following the visitation schedule exactly as it is set forth in the court order. Do not make it difficult for the father to exercise his visitation rights.

If possible, you should arrange the return so that you have minimal contact with the father. He can call or send a text as he approaches your home. You can ask him to a walk your son to the front door and then be ready to let your son in. If the father tries to engage you in an argument, tell him to call or text you when he feels better and close the door. Do not respond to him or speak to him when he's riled up at the end of a visit. Make it so there are absolutely no "small things" discussed that can set him off. If you remove any opportunities for the father to act out then eventually he may come around and learn to discuss issues with you amicably.

Many father's get emotional regarding visitations and for various reasons: They miss the child; they are upset about the loss of control; they are angry that the mother has physical custody; they are angry because there are court imposed rules that control their ability to be with their child; etc. This creates a terrible situation for the other parent and especially the child who wants to see the father but is made to feel terrible by the father's displays of anger. For the child's well being, this situation must be resolved.

If the father continues to find ways to display his anger then you should consult your attorney. A change in visitations may be appropriate. The exchange could take place at some other location such as a relative's or friend's home. You could also request a court order for counseling for the father.