Who is most likely to abuse children?

Answer 1

Studies have shown time and again that a child who grows up in an abusive environment will most likely grow into an adult who will perpetuate the cycle of abuse unless he or she seeks counseling of some sort. A child needs a positive role model in most cases to demonstrate to him the proper behavior. How can a child grow into a kind, loving, compassionate adult if all he's ever known or felt is pain, fear, shame and maybe even hate?

And it is not just physical abuse that gets repeated from one generation to the next either. Sexual abuse, whether in the form of molestation or simply the inappropriate exposure of a child to sexual situations or behavior, can lead to serious future problems.

Neglect and emotional abuse can, in my opinion, have the most adverse and long lasting effects on a person. Insults can result in a lifetime of pain, cause self doubt and low self esteem, and can cause a person to feel worthless and inferior -- which can and often will cause the abused to repeat the process in an attempt to cause someone else pain and to feel superior at the expense of another's well-being and sense of self-worth. Even a well intentioned yet careless comment can remain with someone for years eating away at his or her self-confidence.

I've learned from my own experience that bruises fade rather quickly, but words can cut deeply and sometimes the wounds they cause never heal.

As siblings or progeny grow older, the narcissist begins to see their potential to be edifying, reliable and satisfactory Sources of Narcissistic Supply. His attitude, then, is completely transformed. The former threats have now become promising potentials. He cultivates those whom he trusts to be the most rewarding. He encourages them to idolise him, to adore him, to be awed by him, to admire his deeds and capabilities, to learn to blindly trust and obey him, in short to surrender to his charisma and to become submerged in his follies-de-grandeur.

It is at this stage that the risk of child abuse - up to and including outright incest - is heightened. The narcissist is auto-erotic. He is the preferred object of his own sexual attraction. His siblings and his children share his genetic material. Molesting or having intercourse with them is as close as the narcissist gets to having sex with himself.

Moreover, the narcissist perceives sex in terms of annexation. The partner is "assimilated" and becomes an extension of the narcissist, a fully controlled and manipulated object. Sex, to the narcissist, is the ultimate act of depersonalization and objectification of the other. He actually masturbates with other people's bodies.

Minors pose little danger of criticizing the narcissist or confronting him. They are perfect, malleable and abundant sources of Narcissistic Supply. The narcissist derives gratification from having coital relations with adulating, physically and mentally inferior, inexperienced and dependent "bodies".

These roles � allocated to them explicitly and demandingly or implicitly and perniciously by the narcissist � are best fulfilled by ones whose mind is not yet fully formed and independent. The older the siblings or offspring, the more they become critical, even judgemental, of the narcissist. They are better able to put into context and perspective his actions, to question his motives, to anticipate his moves.

As they mature, they often refuse to continue to play the mindless pawns in his Chess game. They hold grudges against him for what he has done to them in the past, when they were less capable of resistance. They can gauge his true stature, talents and achievements � which, usually, lag far behind the claims that he makes.

This brings the narcissist a full cycle back to the first phase. Again, he perceives his siblings or sons/daughters as threats. He quickly becomes disillusioned and devaluing. He loses all interest, becomes emotionally remote, absent and cold, rejects any effort to communicate with him, citing life pressures and the preciousness and scarceness of his time.

He feels burdened, cornered, besieged, suffocated, and claustrophobic. He wants to get away, to abandon his commitments to people who have become totally useless (or even damaging) to him. He does not understand why he has to support them, or to suffer their company and he believes himself to have been deliberately and ruthlessly trapped.

He rebels either passively-aggressively (by refusing to act or by intentionally sabotaging the relationships) or actively (by being overly critical, aggressive, unpleasant, verbally and psychologically abusive and so on). Slowly � to justify his acts to himself � he gets immersed in conspiracy theories with clear paranoid hues.

To his mind, the members of the family conspire against him, seek to belittle or humiliate or subordinate him, do not understand him, or stymie his growth. The narcissist usually finally gets what he wants and the family that he has created disintegrates to his great sorrow (due to the loss of the Narcissistic Space) � but also to his great relief and surprise (how could they have let go someone as unique as he?).

This is the cycle: the narcissist feels threatened by arrival of new family members � he tries to assimilate or annex of siblings or offspring � he obtains Narcissistic Supply from them � he overvalues and idealizes these newfound sources � as sources grow older and independent, they adopt anti narcissistic behaviours � the narcissist devalues them � the narcissist feels stifled and trapped � the narcissist becomes paranoid � the narcissist rebels and the family disintegrates.

If a child is subjected to physical/emotional abuse or witnesses physical/emotional abuse occurring on a regular basis to a parent or family member, the child, often subconsciously, accepts the abuse as a normal occurence in family life. This doesn't mean that the child is not frightened by the abuse, it means the child comes to accept that this is the way adults deal with problems. The hostility, rage and violence the child witnesses can become a pattern that they emulate as they grow into adulthood.

When confronted with hostility and anger as adults, they may either "lash out" against what perceive is the source of the anger or they may try to hide or submit to the hostility and rage of another person.

Not every child who has witnessed family abuse becomes an abuser or abused. Counseling, removal from the abusive circumstances, and potential awareness that the abuse is unjust may save some children from reenacting these scenes themselves. There are a lot of adults who were victims of abuse, who end up in similar circumstances in their own lives.

On the other hand, an abuser is not justified in his violent actions by claiming he was abused as a child. As an adult, a person has responsibility for their actions and the choices they make.

Those most likely to become child abusers are those who don't appreciate a child's innocence, don't try to look out for children, don't try to discern people's motives, etc. To be safe, look to be in the company of people who acknowledge that children are different from adults. This is a determining factor; don't be paranoid and try to determine it by the fights that someone has had with you, an adult. Don't shy away from people because they have had serious fights with you or you don't like their personality, but be careful of people who expect children to be like small adults. I guess what I'm saying is to look for patience toward children's behaviors.

Answer 2

Actually, it depends on the exact family. If the family is more traditional with a working father and a homemaker mother, then the mother would have more opportunity to abuse. However, the father is more likely to be violent when they abuse, and may be more likely to use firearms. However, mothers who grew up on farms, the streets, or rough environments are more likely than other mothers to be violent.

This also depends on if the parents abuse substances or are mentally ill in a bad way. Substance abusers are more likely to beat their own kids.

In terms of sexual abuse, that is more likely to happen from the father as far as molestation and forcible sex goes, and it is more likely to happen from other males such as the mother's boyfriends or new husbands. However, in terms of incest involving teen males, the mother might be more likely to do this. Parents who have a bad relationship with each other might be more likely to abuse sexually than parents who have a healthy sex life together. There are times when a daughter is being abused in this manner, that the mother has moved out of the father's bedroom. She might suspect something is going on, but she doesn't want to run him off (he's convinced the mother that she is nothing and can't make it without him), and she is thankful he is not abusing her. So a mother might live in denial and do nothing.

Then there are mothers who were pressured to have more kids than they wanted and who resent that. Then they might have another child, be pushed into postpartum depression, and end up turning into a family annihilator. There are often religious beliefs involved as well.

Answer 3

Idiots obviously.

people who are mean and don't deserve kids