Why do you continue risking everything for nothing if he won't leave her for you and tells you this isn't going anywhere and why do you keep doing this with him if you have a good life and great kids?

Answer 1

Many women make the mistake of buying the garbage a married man has to dribble out of his mouth. Most of it is a lie! Often, some men just want the thrill of having a mistress on the side, yet go home to a wife that isn't all that bad at all. I've always been smart enough (when younger) never to believe the trash about men's wives. There is a probability some of it could be true, but hey, she's lived with him for many years and has had to put up with him and you haven't seen that side of him yet. If you end up netting this guy, come back on the board in a couple of years and tell us what you think of him then. These guys don't change! Your kids should always come first and I do understand you are probably fairly young and pretty lonely, but it's best to go slow and easy because of your children. After all, when you meet a man to date you are bringing a stranger into your home where your kids are. You should be the wise one here and protect those kids with every fiber of your body. This doesn't mean you can't date. My girlfriend's husband was killed several years ago leaving her with 2 children (9 & 6 and my girlfriend was 8 months pregnant.) As hard as it was losing her young husband and raising those kids she took her time meeting someone, and she would NEVER bring these guys home. If they were semi serious and wanted to go to bed together, then they would go to a motel. She was only serious about two guys and wanted my husband and I to meet him because she wanted to be sure he was as great as she figured he was. He was a nice guy, but unfortunately, it didn't work out between them, but the last man she met she married and has been married for 19 years now. Don't EVER settle for less even for yourself and most certainly not for your kids. I think you are a little confused and are tired and fearful of the constant fight to make ends meet and you are looking for a more secure life and you probably (a guess) find it in a more settled older man. Unfortunately, this guy is already taken. Keep trying and you'll meet a great guy down the road and then take it slow and easy and be sure of who he is and what you want, then and only then introduce him slowly to your kids. Good luck Marcy