Why would someone who is told they need anger management not believe they need it even if it is told to them by a loved one?

Answer 1

Surely you know that everyone is not going to value your opinion even if you love them or even if they love you. Some people just don't respond well to what others think about them. It may be very true that they need anger management but that is a decision that they have to make on their own and you being the loved one has to support their decision no matter what. Unless, they are doing things in their anger that directly affect your safety or your well being. Maybe they don't see how their anger is a major problem. Maybe they think it's normal to have excessive anger. Perhaps it has something to do with how they grew up or something that they've experienced in their past or something that they're still going through now that possibly you know nothing about. Just try to be understanding tho what they could be going through to. Abusers regularly deny the abuse ever took place – or rationalize their abusive behaviors. Denial is an integral part of the abuser's ability to "look at himself/herself in the mirror". More here: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse4.html