Your grandma said that if someone shacks up without being married they will go to hell that was the same grandma who called you lazy and spoiled brat so is what she said true?

Answer 1

In general, the answer is yes if your version of hell is the same as hers. When you "shack" up with someone, you are committing to have a relationship with them but aren't ready to make a lifetime commitment. It is more like "let's do this and see where it takes us" or "this feels good so let's do it". The problem with that is you never really enjoy the satisfaction of the true ups and downs of a relationship which includes a "promised future" (which most women desire), or the pain from the loss of love. In other words your joy and suffering are only as deep as your commitment. (i.e. a form of hell is less joy and less pain). It is possible then that grandma is right that those who lack the ability to make commitments (like working at a job only because it pays the bills and provides a stable life for you and your loved ones even though you may not enjoy it but shows you are sacrificing part of your life for the love and commitment of others) are also the some ones not willing to put much effort into anything like she did, or had to, or wanted to (lazy and spoiled). One cannot blame themselves too much for their own laziness though. Part of everyone's responsibility to raise children (like yourself) is to show them how to make those commitments and to show it was done willingly and joyfully. Grandma may not have been "willing" but "had to" which might explain her harsh statement to you. (She might also be angry that she loves you but is frustrated that today's lifestyle has more distractions that take away from lifetime commitments). Nevertheless, even though grandma is not using a more skillful way to convey the message (probably because of her own loveless upbringing), she may be right because she has enjoyed the rewards of hard work like many others of her generation.