Frot

Two men frotting.

Frot (French frotter, to rub) is male-male non-penetrative sex, where male partners engage in the rubbing of erect penis on erect penis, typically while in full-frontal embrace. The term often implies that such activity is done in preference to other male/male intimacy such as fellatio or anal sex, but not necessarily to the total exclusion of such activities. Also, while a full-frontal embrace is often understood, other sexual positions for frot are possible.

Frot can be enjoyable because it mutually and simultaneously stimulates each partner's penis, especially the frenulum nerve bundle on the underside of the shaft, just below the urinary opening of the penis's "head". (Some frot practitioners refer to the frenulum region of the penis as "the sweet spot" because they find that direct frenulum-to-frenulum rubbing is the most reliable way to create intensely pleasurable sensations.)

Since frot is a non-penetrative sex act, the risk of passing sexually transmitted infections that require direct contact between the mucous membranes and pre-ejaculate, or ejaculate is greatly reduced. Notably, HIV is among the diseases that require such direct contact, and is therefore very unlikely to be transmitted via frot ^[1]. On the other hand, frot can potentially provide an "invasion" opportunity for a few pathogenic organisms that need only skin-to-skin contact. In this category are the viruses causing genital herpes and genital warts, either of which can, in some cases, lead to serious health problems. Other microorganisms that might travel from partner to partner during a frot session include molluscum contagiosum and crabs — which, although relatively trivial from a medical standpoint, may cause some degree of discomfort and embarrassment. At the same time, it should be understood that all of these "casually transmissible" diseases are just as likely, if not more so, to be transmitted during male/male anal intercourse as during frot.

Subjectively, frot practitioners report that the high degree of "erotic symmetry" inherent to frot can bring a feeling of deep sexual intimacy without the need for physical penetration. And more controversially, some frot advocates assert that this symmetry will also tend to generate a strong sense of equality and shared masculinity, with the implied accusation that male/male anal sex is likely to leave the receptive man feeling somewhat emasculated in comparison to the penetrating man.

This disparaging allegation by some frot advocates, namely that male/male anal sex should be seen as psychologically less wholesome than frot, has led to vigorous disputes — often in terms connected more broadly to gay political ideology. For their part, some gay men who defend the validity of anal sex have disparaged frottage as a makeshift, second-rate form of male/male intimacy — something better left to inexperienced teenagers and "closeted" older men.

An alternate point of view is that frottage in general, is a unisex, or even female-oriented, sexual act, "something that can be enjoyed with anyone. The same goes for transsexuals of any stripe. Frottage is the ultimate equal opportunity conjoiner...Lesbians are the unsung heroes of rubbing. They can do it like no one else can (picture a pair of scissors), and they even have their own name for it: tribadism, [a term derived from the Greek word for "rub", and that was] historically used interchangeably with lesbian."^[2] According to this way of looking at things, penetration, including anal penetration, is "male-defined" sexuality.^[3]

Similarly, the term "frictation" can refer to the wider meaning of "frottage"^[4] but it can also describe penis-penis sex specifically.^[5]

Partly because the word "frottage" was potentially ambiguous as a descriptive term for various permutations of non-penetrative sex, and partly because frottage was seen as "only foreplay" or "a substitute for the real thing," some men began using and recommending the shortened form "frot" with the specifically intended meaning of penis-to-penis sex as a favorite or even preferred act. That is, the short form carried the implicit encouragement "Frot™: Ask for it by name!", to borrow an advertising catchphrase.

Origins of the term frot

The physical act of frot preexists the evolution of hominids into humans and bonobos, and occurs frequently in the homosexual activity of both of these genetically related species.^[6]

However, the concept of frot did not come into existence until very recently, when Bill Weintraub coined the term frot in 2000 in his article, "Frot: The Next Sexual Revolution", which calls on gay men to adopt frot sexuality and reject the "cultural deathgrip" of anal sexuality.

"This growing movement of men into frot who disown anal sex is not simply a matter of sexual taste. It goes farther than that, for it's a rejection of the overly and unhealthily feminized self-image of gay men that has dominated our lives for generations. It is like other masculinist impulses among the gay masses, a manifestation of the collective unconscious correcting a psychic phenomenon that has lingered too long in one direction. So it's no accident that men into frot reject almost every aspect of the anal sex worldview, embracing equality and masculinity as the essence of a gay male sexual experience, and often, though not always, seeking involvement in such traditional male contact sports as wrestling and boxing".

Thus, the concept of frot emerged in a context of a debate within the gay male community, about the role of anal sex in gay culture. Usage of the term frot may still connote hostility to anal sexuality. Nevertheless, the term frot no longer requires the assumption of hostility to anal sex.

Synonyms

Before frot came into use as the technical term for this act, the available alternatives included frictation (though fricate can refer to any genital friction, including frottage, coitus and masturbation), and frontism.

Genito-genital rubbing or GG rubbing is a term frequently used by primatologists to describe tribadism among bonobo females.^[7] It is sometimes used in reference to bonobo males with the colorful term "penis fencing".

Genito-genital sex or genital-genital sex is a physically descriptive term for sex in which there is contact between the genitals, in the same naming convention as "genital-anal sex" and "genital-oral sex".^[8]

Usage in gay and mainstream culture

Slang terms for frot include "cock rub", "bumping dicks", "knocking cocks", "Oxford style", "Princeton rub" and "Ivy League rub".^[9]

• Slang terms such as "Oxford-style" and "Princeton rub", all in reference to university or boarding schools, refer to when a partner moves his penis between his and his partner's abdomens, thighs, or sometimes buttocks. Thus, it is male-male frottage (in terms of being non-penetrative sexual activity), but is not frot in the proper sense.

• The 1998 book Wrestling for Gay Guys by Donald Black features a list of wrestling styles that includes "climax wrestling" also known as "cockfighting".

• Bill Weintraub, advocates frot as the primary expression of male-male sexuality on his website^[10] and in a few interviews and op-ed pieces,^[11]

Usage in non-human animals

The homosexual activities of bonobos are of special interest because of their genetic closeness to humans, however despite their genetic similarity bonobo sexuality has been described as "not driven by orgasm or seeking release. Nor is it often reproductively driven. Sex for a bonobo is casual, it's quick".^[12] Among bonobos, frot frequently occurs when two males hang from a tree limb and engage in penis fencing. Frot also occurs while two males are in missionary position. A special form of frot called "rump rubbing" in which males stand back to back on all fours and rub their genito-anal regions together.^[13]

Frot has been observed between bull manatees, in conjunction with "kissing". Bottlenose dolphins have been observed rubbing their genitals against the genital area of other males often leading to the penetration of the genital slit, or less commonly the anus.^[14] Other forms of frot are also common among homosexually active mammals.^{[citation needed]} Most species of bird do not possess a penis; for those animals, the distinction between penetrative and non-penetrative sex does not exist, though mounting and insemination are common aspects of avian homosexuality even when a phallic organ is not present.

See also

• Non-penetrative sex
• Sexual positions
• Vanilla sex
• Coitus, male-female genital sex
• Tribadism, female-female genital sex
• Penis fencing, a similar behavior in flatworms.

References

Further reading

• B. Bagemihl, Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity (1999)
• Olivia Judson., Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation (2002)