Let me refer you to my previous answer on "love.".
Is There Such a Thing as "Love?" .
It was many hundreds of years ago, in the Middle Ages, starting around the 12th centu…ry, that minstrels and troubadours first crooned about "true love." Today their notion of "true love" is being propagated by Hollywood and the media. "To find love across a (crowded) room (see first response) and meet the eyes of her or him", is but a fairy tale out of Richard Rodger's "South Pacific.".
Let me assure you that there is no such thing as "true love." When we become intimate with another human being, whether we or they like it or not, we set conditions . Having been a marriage counselor for the last forty years, I find the notion of "true love" not only totally false but also, by those who believe in it, a detriment to any successful relationship. For reality is much more obstinate and trying. It does not allow a couple to luxuriate in this dreamworld of "true love." Let's talk about the conditions of relationships. "Caring for each other", enjoying the mutuality of a healthy bond - this is very similar to a friendship - that will create familiarity and affinity, that will help meld two lives together, should create a primary bond. Then there is Intimacy , the sharing of something of a private nature with another human being, that gives one a sense of belonging, and that will help make us feel more secure in a relationship. Developing a congruence of perception, which happens when there is a similarity of lifestyles, allows us to see the world with like eyes. But more than anything, it is our willingness to compromise , to make adjustment to conflicting interests and needs, that is a "must quality" which all of us need to succeed in a relationship. These are the qualities that matter. "Love is a many-splendored thing" is no more than a many-splendored illusion..
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