A Million Million Ducats

• Artist: The Brobdingnagian Bards
• Rating:
• Release Date: 2001
• Genre: World

Review

This is the most lunatic collection to wander into Celtic in a long time, but then, perhaps that's to be expected from a duo calling themselves the Brobdingnagian Bards -- after all, comedy's integral to their Ren Fest performances. Here are six versions of this same eccentric original comedy song, "If I Had a Million Ducats" -- the ad libs get addled-er and libbier each time. You can tell these guys are best buddies by the way they carry on. The maze garden gets converted to the chocolate garden along the way, and all sorts of hijinks ensue. The autoharp and recorder playing is remarkably pleasant, and the lyrics engagingly offbeat, all about what could be bought with the proverbial million ducats: "I'd buy you a saint's remains/and all those lucky saint's bones." There's "The Who Intro": "Didn't think anything? Oh, there's a shocker." "Shut up, you." "What, you're gonna eat an elephant? My! Those animal rights people are gonna come after you." And the Disney ending. The "You and Virgins" variation has no garden, but a moat and Nessie. Version five, "Take 23," has spitting, and a slower pace. Plus mad libs of a magic beanstalk in the garden, and "llamas -- but why would they have fun with... I don't wanna go there!" And letting the monkey go free, and bellowing, and the end: "We could afford acting lessons? And not sound like William Shatner." Can you say manic? You betcha. Version six, the "serious" version: "I'm tired of laughing in the middle." "No, no kicking you from afar? Nothing?" But of course, he does, anyway. The giddy goofiness is infectious. Likely to make you smile, if not join in the laughter outright. Sure, there are technical flaws. Some places they mumble, or talk over top of each other. The self-declared "The Worst Ever" version isn't -- the "BNL Parody" variation beats it out. Yet somehow, it's all part of the silliness, and who can mind? Listeners are too busy catching the next crazy ad lib. One thing's assured -- anybody with half an ear for a tune will be singing "If I Had a Million Ducats" in their sleep, backwards, by the time this album is done. Overexposure was never quite so much fun before! Doff your caps to the zanies, gentles! This is a must for Brobdingnagian Bards fans. ~ Murrday Fisher, Rovi

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