Batman Returns

• Release Date: 1992
• Genre: Action
• Style: Side-Scrolling Combat
• Similar Games: Streets of Rage (Sega Game Gear), Streets of Rage (Sega Genesis), Die Hard Arcade (Sega Saturn), Dynamite Deka (Sega Saturn), Final Fight (Super Nintendo Entertainment System), Die Hard Arcade (Arcade), Final Fight (Arcade), Final Fight (Arcade)

Game Description

When the naughty forces of darkness invade Gotham City, who do you call? No, not the cops--the man you're looking for is none other than the Caped Crusader himself, Batman. It seems that the nefarious duo of the Penguin and Catwoman have rolled into the city unannounced, and brought along hordes of identical-looking hoodlums who only know how to punch, kick, or throw dynamite at whoever gets in their way. It looks like our hero is going to have a long night ahead of him in Batman Returns, an adaptation of the quasi-semi-okay 1992 Tim Burton flick.

As Batman, it's up to you to put those punching, kicking, and jumping skills to the test as you trudge across a side-scrolling Gotham, as boatloads of funnily-dressed goons try to move in on your turf. Can Batman make it through Lord-knows-how-many-levels of fierce one-on-one battle, before accidentally blowing a jump and squandering his single life? His fate is in your hands!

Review: Overall

Ahh, movie license games. Looking back at the whole lot of them, there aren't many that didn't turn out to be anything more than a crummy game with a brand name tacked onto them (with the only exceptions being several Star Wars games and Rare's classic Goldeneye). There was a little hope for Atari's Batman Returns to break the mold -- after all, it wasn't programmed by Acclaim.

Unfortunately, Batman Returns is about as lousy as they come. You control the Dark Night as he tromps across Gotham City, punching and kicking freaky bad guys, whose repertoire is tossing dynamite, punching back, and riding motorcycles. This mediocrity spreads across the game's atrocious levels, which range from the Gotham rooftops to the Penguin's lair. Of course, most gamers will give up before they reach the ending, which is one of the most insulting in recent memory. The game is accentuated by blah graphics, and utterly lifeless sound effects.

Batman Returns's enemies also deliver plenty of cheap shots, which should deplete your energy bar in a jiffy. Oh yeah--you only have one life, so if you misjudge a jump, you'll go plummeting to your doom. There is also none of the expected multi-player ComLynx action, but that's all right; it's doubtful anybody else would want to take part in this utter gaming dreck. If you absolutely must, rent the Tim Burton film--but if you want to keep your sanity, stay far, far away from the Lynx version of Batman Returns.

Review: Enjoyment

Around thirty seconds should be enough.

Review: Graphics

Lousy. Batman's cape moves kinda nicely...but aside from that, no go.

Review: Sound

Remarkably poor.

Review: Replay Value

Fifteen seconds the second time around should remind you that you made the right decision after the first thirty.

Review: Documentation

As expected.