Brian the Bachelor
“Brian the Bachelor” is the seventh episode from the fourth season of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. Guest-starring in the episode are Jessica Biel as Brooke, Kevin Michael Richardson as Doug the Pimple, Michael Bell as Allstar Seaworthy from Snorks, Dr. Drew as the Dermatologist, and Nancy Cartwright as Daffney Gillfin from Snorks.
Plot summary
Peter, Joe, and Quagmire drag Cleveland to a bar to get him to meet some women after Loretta leaves him. It doesn’t work so well, so when The Bachelorette comes to Quahog, Peter takes Cleveland to try and join. Cleveland gets nervous at the audition and in an effort to calm him, Peter removes Cleveland’s clothes and then his own. The producers see this and Brian apologizes for what happened with Peter and Cleveland. After meeting Brian, they recruit him to be a contestant. He signs up for the free martinis and food, but ends up falling in love with the reality starlet, Brooke.
Meanwhile, Chris has a zit on his face which he names “Doug.” Lois worries about Chris, as Doug tells Chris to make some mischief. He goes to Swanson’s house and sets a
bag on their porch on fire, and writes “That’s enough,
That night, when Brooke comes over for dinner to meet Brian’s family, Doug tells Chris to lift up Brooke’s shirt. He does this, shocking and offending the family. Joe comes in, saying he has proof that it was Chris who broke into Goldman’s Pharmacy and stole his acne medication. Chris decides he no longer wants to listen to Doug after he made his mom cry, but Doug says he could make Chris punch himself, or even worse, shoot him in the brain. Right after the scene where Brooke tells Brian that they are breaking up, Chris is at the dermatology clinic, desperate to get rid of the zit. Doug tries to shoot him in the brain, but Chris manages to use the cortisone on the zit, finally taking it out.
Brian wins Brooke's heart and the final rose, but when the cameras are turned off, Brooke suddenly turns cold to Brian. Brian leaves dozens of messages on Brooke’s answering machine but she doesn’t answer, so Brian goes to see her in person. Brooke throws an answering machine at him and he finally gets the hint.
Cultural references
- When Stewie swats the spoon away from his face and says “Well, I guess the pilot was JFK, Junior,” he is referring to the death of John F. Kennedy, Jr., who died while piloting a plane. Stewie then says sadly, “Ugh, even I found that to be in bad taste.”
- After Brian rejects a donkey for group date with Brooke, Prince Adam takes the animal and transforms him into Battle-Cat, and himself into He-Man.
- The show is centered around a parody of the ABC show The Bachelorette.
- The first thing that Chris’s pimple says is “Feed me,” like Audrey II from the Little Shop of Horrors.
- A sexually suggestive Snorks gag is seen after Chris spray-paints the mini-mart wall (interesting to note is that the characters featured, Allstar and Casey, actually did have a romantic relationship on the actual show.)
- In one of the confessions Brian gives for The Bachelorette, he sings a few lines from “At This Moment” by Billy Vera and the Beaters.
- One of Chris’ pimples demands, “Where are all the whiteheads at?” This is a reference to Cleavon Little’s ploy to goad the Klansmen to leave the line of villains in Blazing Saddles: “Where are all the white women at?” (or more generally, a reference to the stereotype of black men preferring white women).
- The story of the talking pimple is reminiscent of the films Little Shop of Horrors and How to Get Ahead in Advertising.
- When Herbert hops outside Chris’ window on a ladder, the whole scene up to when he falls down is a parody from the film Animal House.
- When Mort Goldman throws the pot of hot coffee on Peter, it is a direct parody of the ending of the film Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
- Brian and Brooke share an interest in jazz musician John Coltrane—“early Coltrane, before he got clean.” Coltrane was a heroin addict until 1957. She is also interested in Coleman Hawkins and Ben Webster (she also jokingly lists DJ Jazzy Jeff).
- Michael Eisner gives Brian a “parting gift” from ABC after Brian is finished with the show. However, the gift turns out to be the bill for the show’s mansion, to which Michael Eisner runs while childishly declaring “No givesies backsies!”
Trivia
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- According to the DVD audio commentary on this episode, on the cutaway about Brooke spending the evening with Quagmire and his mother, the original name of the cat was “Pussy,” but the censors found it to be too tasteless and it was changed to “Mittens” (however, they didn’t object to the implication that Quagmire intended to have a threesome with his mother and the Bachelorette). Also, in the scene where Cleveland is freaking out over his audition for The Bachelorette and Peter strips naked (and strips Cleveland’s clothes), originally Peter was supposed to be sitting on Cleveland’s lap to keep Cleveland from running away, but the censors found it to be too sexual.
- A flashback implies Peter was once a woman, and has had a sex-change, although this is most likely a one-off joke. This is contradicted by other flashbacks to Peter’s past which show him as a boy. One flashback in “And the Wiener Is...” even has a doctor saying “It’s a boy” to Peter’s mother. Furthermore, Peter once told Stewie that his mother used whiskey to solve his toothaches, cutting away to a clip of a very young Peter with a whiskey bottle being thrown towards his face. Besides, he has kids (at least two of which seem to be biologically his), which would be impossible for a transsexual.
- Stewie talks extensively about the novel that he believes Brian is writing. In Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, Brian says that in his time away from the series, he had some time to work on his novel. However, as of "Saving Private Brian", Stewie reveals that he still hasn’t finished it. This is probably because the “after party” footage is DVD exclusive, and therefore may not be considered canon.
| Preceded by "Petarded" |
Family Guy Episodes | Followed by "8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter" |
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