Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers

Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers
Studio album by The Firesign Theatre
Released	1970
Recorded	April and May 1970
Genre	Comedy
Length	46:28
Label	Columbia
Producer	The Firesign Theatre with Bill Driml
Professional reviews
Allmusic link The New Rolling Stone Record Guide [1] The Goldmine Comedy Record Price Guide [2]
The Firesign Theatre chronology
How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All (1969) Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers (1970) Dear Friends - Syndicated Radio Program (1970-1971)

Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers is The Firesign Theatre's third comedy recording for Columbia Records, released in 1970. In 1983, The New Rolling Stone Record Guide called it "the greatest comedy album ever made" ^[1].

Track listing

All tracks by The Firesign Theatre

Side one

1. "This Side" – 22:16

Side two

1. "The Other Side" – 24:12 ^[3]

Detailed Track Information and Commentary

This was The Firesign Theatre's first album wherein a single narrative took up both sides of the album.

In Phil Austin's notes to the 1987 Mobile Fidelity re-release of this album he says "Dwarf is the story of the five ages of Man and in particular, the five ages of one George Leroy Tirebiter; a man named after a dog" ^[4]

The piece centers on the character of Tirebiter (played by David Ossman) who is not only named after a dog but is also a former child actor who spends his time watching himself on late-night television.

As his evening unfolds, the listener hears "excerpts" from fictional movies in Tirebiter's past. High School Madness starring Peorgie Tirebiter and his sidekick, Mudhead, is a parody of shows like the Aldrich Family radio show, the Archie comic book and of 1950s youth culture in general. Parallel Hell is a war movie set in Korea, where the soldiers (including Tirebiter) debate the seemingly endless war. These are interspersed with commercials and other staples of late-night television (including a televangelist and a talk show) as Tirebiter randomly changes channels. The broadcasts contain many references to warfare and Cold War paranoia (product names such as Napalmolive), indicating that Tirebiter's world exists under martial law.

The catch phrase, "This is UTV, for you, the viewer!" is eerily prophetic of what in the following decade would become standard television viewing habits for Americans, after the rise of cable television. Television sets of the era generally had two tuning dials, VHF and UHF. The letter "U" was a position on the VHF dial between channels 2 and 13 which engaged the UHF channels, making the joke a triple entendre.

Another satirical comment from the album that has held up well is the slogan of The Hour of the Wolf Movie, "Presenting honest stories of working people as told by rich Hollywood stars" ^[3]. As well marking the time of the fictional UTV program, this name is likely also a reference to Ingmar Bergman's 1968 film Hour of the Wolf.

Personnel

• Ambient's Noyes Choral – chorus
• Annalee – voices, stylist
• Philip Austin – guitar, keyboards, vocals, liner notes producer, engineer
• Oona Elliott – vocals
• Firesign Theatre – producer
• John Fresno – bass, guitar, saxophone, vocals
• Bob Grossman – artwork
• James William Guercio – producer
• Jerry Hochman – engineer
• Little Bubbles – sax
• William Malloch – creative consultant
• Mindermast Mental Music Hall One-Man Sympathy Orchestra – orchestra
• David Ossman – percussion, vocals
• Elizabeth Plumb – photography
• Procmer – director
• Phil Proctor – flute, violin, vocals
• John Rose – photography

Issues and reissues

This album was originally released simultaneously on LP, 8 Track, and Cassette.

• LP - Columbia C-30102
• 8 Track - Columbia 18C-30102
• Cassette - Columbia CT-30102

It has been re-released on CD at least five times:

• 1987 - Mobile Fidelity MFCD-880
• 2001 - Acadia ACA8018
• 2001 - Laugh.com LGH1072
• 2001 (October) - Columbia CK-30102
• 2001 (December) - Sony/Legacy - CK-85775

^[5]

Miscellanea

Lists of miscellaneous information should be avoided. Please relocate any relevant information into appropriate sections or articles. (March 2009)

Origin of George Tirebiter's name

There was a real George Tirebiter, who was a dog ^[4].

In 1946, a mongrel whose owner had died wandered onto the campus of the University of Southern California and was adopted by the students as an unofficial mascot. The dog acquired a reputation for chasing cars, hence the name. The dog became so famous that at one point he was kidnapped by rival students from UCLA, who shaved their school's letters into his fur. In 1950 his car-chasing career came to an end when he was run over.

During Tirebiter's run as the USC mascot, a young David Ossman lived nearby. No one could have foreseen that the boy would revive the name 20 years later as that of a comedy character.

The five ages of George Leroy Tirebiter

In his notes to the Mobile Fidelity release, Austin says that the five ages of George Leroy Tirebiter are:

• Tirebiter the Child, called Peorge or Peorgie
• Tirebiter the College student, called George Tirebiter Camden N200-R
• Tirebiter the Soldier, called Lt. Tirebiter
• Tirebiter the Actor, called Dave Casman
• Tirebiter the Old Man, called George Leroy Tirebiter

^[6]

Trivia

Another literary forebear of Dwarf is Krapp's Last Tape (1958) by Samuel Beckett. The aged Krapp listens to tape-recorded monologues he made each year throughout his life. The aged actor Tirebiter half-dozes in front of the TV, switching channels, all of which are coincidently showing films and TV appearances he made through his long career.

George's failed pizza-to-go order is the other half of Nick Danger's conversation from How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All, and the album ends with George running outside to buy an ice cream cone from a passing ice cream truck, the chimes thereof opening the next album, I Think We're All Bozos on This Bus.

At one point the proposed title for this album was We'll be Hieronymus Bosch in Jest a Minute, but Faust . . . ^[4]

The LP release of this album included a poster of the group ^[3].

The Mobile Fidelity CD release of Dwarf is very rare. During the late 1990s and up until 2001 the bidding on Ebay for copies of the Mobile Fidelity edition regularly reached the $125 range with one copy actually selling for $250 in 2000. The price for the Mobile Fidelity CD has dropped, however, since this title became available again.

In 2006, Dwarf was added to the National Recording Registry, a list of sound recordings that "are culturally, historically, or aesthetically important, and/or inform or reflect life in the United States."

Cover art

The name "Firesign Theatre" was suggested by an astrologer-friend of the troupe who noted that all four members had been born under "fire signs." The cover art, by Robert Grossman, features caricatures of the members as their respective astrological animals: Austin as a ram (Aries), Proctor as a lion (Leo), and Bergman and Ossman as two Satyrs or Centaurs (Sagittarius). The Sagittarians are armed, respectively, with a bow and suction-cup arrow and a squirt gun, and the other members are seated on their backs. An eponymous pair of pliers sits on the ground beneath them.

References

1. ^ ^{a b} Marsh, Dave, and Greil Marcus. "The Firesign Theatre." The New Rolling Stone Record Guide. Ed. Dave Marsh and John Swenson. New York: Random House, 1983. 175-176.
2. ^ Smith, Ronald L. The Goldmine Comedy Record Price Guide. Iola: Krause, 1996.
3. ^ ^{a b c} Firesign Theatre. Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers. Columbia Records, 1970.
4. ^ ^{a b c} Firesign Theatre. Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers. Mobile Fidelity, 1987.
5. ^ For information about the various releases and re-releases of this album, see the following:
   "FIREZINE: Linques!." Firesign Theatre FAQ. 20 Jan. 2006 <http://firezine.net/faq/>.
   Firesign Theatre. Firesign Theatre. 19 Jan. 2006 <http://www.firesigntheatre.com/>.
   At the Official Firesign Theatre Website, see specifically [1]
6. ^ Firesign Theatre. Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers. Mobile Fidelity, 1987.
   This description of Tirebiter's "ages" are quoted directly from the notes to the Mobile Fidelity release.