Main Cast: Glenn Ford, Gia Scala, Anne Francis, Earl Holliman, Keenan Wynn, Fred Clark
Release Year: 1957
Country: US
Run Time: 102 minutes
Plot
Obviously inspired by such service comedies as Mister Roberts and Operation Mad Ball, Don't Go Near the Water is a tribute to those "unsung heroes" of WW2: the men and women of the Navy's Public Relations Department. Thousands of miles away from the shooting war, Lt. Max Siegel (Glenn Ford) and the rest of the PR staff spend their time issuing colorful reports of Naval heroism and sucking up to visiting US dignitaries on a tiny South Sea island. Siegel and company also battle the anal-rententive pettiness of such superior officers as Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash (Fred Clark) and such potential foes as abrasive war correspondent Gordon Ripwell (Keenan Wynn). The feminine angle is provided by Gia Scala as Melora, a European-educated local girl, Anne Francis as by-the-book nurse Lt. Alice Tomlen, and Eva Gabor as women's magazine writer Deborah Aldrich. Particularly amusing is Mickey Shaughnessy as foul-mouthed seaman Farragut Jones, whose periodic barrages of profanity are invariably drowned out by the sound of a ratchet-horn (this was, after all, 1957). Don't Go Near the Water was based on the comic novel by ex-PR man William Brinkley. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
Review
A middling service comedy, Don't Go Near the Water certainly has the look of a winner. Glossy and slick -- much like the public relations officers the film is concerned with -- Water skims along the surface of its comedic subject without ever getting its feet very wet. While there's more than a touch of satire here, it's surprisingly toothless, the kind that flirts with cynicism without letting itself get too involved in what that cynicism really means. However, for those that don't mind its superficiality, Water should be very enjoyable. Certainly Dorothy Kingsley and George Wells' screenplay is professionally put together, and their gags are properly built up, with pay-offs that reward more often than not. Charles Walters' direction is efficient and smooth, if not especially inspired or imaginative, and the cast is made up of pleasant actors and committed comics. Glenn Ford handles the lead role well, offering more in the way of personality and appeal than exceptional comic timing, which is not a bad thing at all. Anne Francis, Gia Scala and Eva Gabor are delightful to look at, which is what is required of them, which leaves the likes of Keenan Wynn, Fred Clark, Mary Wickes and Mickey Shaughnessy to keep the comedy bright -- a goal they do their best to achieve. ~ Craig Butler, All Movie Guide
Don't Go Near the Water is a 1957comedy film about a U.S. Navy public relations unit stationed on an island in the Pacific Ocean during World War II. It is an adaptation of the 1956 novel of the same name by William Brinkley. Glenn Ford and Gia Scala starred. This is the first of several "service comedies" that Ford appeared in after the huge success of Teahouse of the August Moon. The movie was very successful and further solidified Ford as an adept comedic actor.
