drool-proof paper

Documentation that has been obsessively dumbed down, to the point where only a cretin could bear to read it, is said to have succumbed to the ‘drool-proof paper syndrome’ or to have been ‘written on drool-proof paper’. For example, this is an actual quote from Apple's LaserWriter manual: “Do not expose your LaserWriter to open fire or flame.” The SGI Indy manual included the line “[Do not] dangle the mouse by the cord or throw it at coworkers.”