I Used to Work in Chicago

I Used to Work in Chicago is a humorous traditional drinking song. The earliest printed date for the song is March 1945 in the underground mimeographed songbook Songs of the Century. Many of the lyrics are considered humorous because of the oblique sexual references.

After World War II, there were various versions of this song commercially recorded (e.g. by Spike Jones).

⅝== Song Lyrics ==

As with all traditional songs, there are variations in the lyrics. Here is one example from 1945:

I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO

Oh, I used to work in Chicago

In a Department Store

I used to work in Chicago -

I did but I don't anymore.

A lady came in and asked for a hat

I asked her what kind she'd adore

Felt she said, so felter I did

I did but I don't anymore.

More commonly, and more modern:

I used to work in Chicago

In an Old Department Store

I used to work in Chicago -

Don't work there anymore!

A lady came in and asked for some bolts

Some bolts from the store?

Some bolts she wanted, my nuts she got !

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! I don't work there any more!

The song's further verses replace the words in bold for other items and actions, such as:

Meat / Sausage

Fishing Rod / Pole

Helicopter / Chopper

Carpet / Shag

DVD / Aladdin

Beef / Pork

Golf Set / A Hole In One

Camel / Hump

Fabric / Felt

Beer / 6 Pack

Plastic / Rubbers

Translator / Cunning Linguist

Glased Doughnut / Cream Filled

Power Drill / Drilled

Black & Decker drill / Decked

Screwdriver / Screwed

Gun / Banged

Metaphysical conversation / Fucked

Sailors / Seamen

Pipe / Hosing

Stockings / Hosing

Liquid Plumber / Pipes Cleaned

Butter / Spread

Formal Wear / Cincinnati Bowtie

Elevator / Shafted

Quebec Poutine / Hot Sauce

Jewelry / Pearl necklace

Pimp Rod / Magic Stick

Assistance / AIDs

Fresh Fruits / Dirty Banana

Latex Gloves / Dick in a Rubber

A trunk road from Newcastle to Carlisle / A69

An Umbrella/ We didn't have one, so I screwed her/him anyway!

Semi-aquatic mammal / Beaver

Pirate ship / Jolly rogering

Ruler / 12 inches

Water / all wet

the alphabet / HIV

Mashed potatoes / a stuffing

Rooster / cock

ham / porking

dessert / cherry cheese cake

seafood / crabs

ovation / the clap

apples / her cherry I took

burgers / sausage

barbecue / spit roast

hammer / nailed

nail / screwed

screen door / back door

surprise / shocker

Mexican / Dirty Sanchez

encyclopedia / my index

Tudor style / a-frame

whale / free willy

double kit-kat / 4 fingers

liquor / lick her

manicure / facial

Oriental Monocle/ Jap's Eye

Silver Bathroom Fittings/ Golden Shower

Orgasm / Who cares what she got

Bannister / Railing

A German method of coal extraction / Mine Shaft

Sprite / 7-UP

Shotgun / Her Pump Action I got

Bowling ball / 3 fingers and thrown in the gutter

Public speaker / Master debator

Right Honorable Gentleman / Upstanding member

Extension Cord / The Shocker

One Minute Man / (Person's name)

Apple pie / Cream pie

Oh Henry / Mr. Big

Big Mac/ My Whopper

Calendar / 9 Months

Skeleton / Boner

Bible / Missionary

Abortion / Kicked down the stairs

Orgasm / Who cares

Mr Clean / Dirty Sanchez

Big Mac / My special sauce

Cottage Cheese / My Smegma

Pickup Truck / Rammed

computer / my virus

Oh henery / my shit covered dick

a pear / double teamed

a squid / jigged

sheep / rammed

18 wheeler / my Mac

Sports Utility Vehicle / My Hummer

fossil / My Bone

Paint / rolled

Window / 12 itches of pain

Richard / My dick

Chicken/ Cock

DumpTruck / Dump on the chest

and so forth. Some of the commercial versions are tamer. For example, a verse from Spike Jones' version:

I used to work in Chicago

In a Department Store,

Behind the cafeteria

-a lady came in the door

She said she wanted an egg

I asked her what part would she like

(Yiddish accent) Yolk she vanted, yoke I told her

I'll never work there anymore...

Popular Culture

• The song is sung by Woody Harrelson and John C. Reilly in the film A Prairie Home Companion.

References

• Cray, Ed; The Erotic Muse: American Bawdy Songs (University of Illinois, 1992).
• Reuss, Richard A.; An Annotated Field Collection of Songs From the American College Student Oral Tradition (Bloomington: Indiana Univ. Masters Thesis, 1965).

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