| Title |
Original Airdate |
Writer |
Director |
Production # |
Episode # |
| '"Pilot" |
January 9, 2000 |
Linwood Boomer |
Todd Holland |
101 |
1 |
| Malcolm is transferred into the accelerated learning class, and must deal with a bully named Spath. |
| "Red Dress" |
January 16, 2000 |
Alan J. Higgins |
Arlene Sanford |
102 |
2 |
| On the night of her wedding anniversary, Lois finds her red dress burned and in the toilet. She immediately blames Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey and tortures them into confessing. |
| "Home Alone 4" |
January 23, 2000 |
Michael Glauberman |
Todd Holland |
103 |
3 |
| While Hal and Lois are away for the weekend, Francis is left to babysit the boys, but when Francis invites his hoodlum friends over, they trash the house. Now the four have to clean the house before Hal and Lois come back, but Malcolm gets injured during the process and is needing stitches. Hal and Lois return and see Malcolm's injury and they don't get mad. |
| "Shame" |
February 6, 2000 |
David Richardson |
Nick Marck |
104 |
4 |
| Malcolm beats up a bully--and is immediately guilt-ridden when he learns that the bully is seven years old. Meanwhile, Hal cuts down a tree--and ends up angering a neighbor. |
| "Malcolm Babysits" |
February 13, 2000 |
Maggie Bandur and Pang-Li Landrum |
Jeffrey Melman |
105 |
5 |
| Malcolm's family moves into a trailer while their house is being fumigated, and Malcolm gets a taste of the good life while house-sitting for a couple. Meanwhile, Francis finds the corpse of a janitor named Lester in the basement of the military school and teams up with his friends to give the forgotten custodian a proper burial. |
| "Sleepover" |
February 20, 2000 |
Dan Kopelman |
Ken Kwapis |
106 |
6 |
| Malcolm stays overnight at Stevie's house and talks him into sneaking out to an all-night arcade after having to put up with Stevie's parents strict monitoring. Meanwhile, Reese has to give Dewey a bath in order to stay up and watch a scary movie. |
| "Francis Escapes" |
February 27, 2000 |
Linwood Boomer |
Todd Holland |
107 |
7 |
| Francis goes AWOL from military school for his crush, who turns out to be sleazy and abusive. |
| "Krelboyne Picnic" |
March 12, 2000 |
Michael Glouberman |
Todd Holland |
108 |
8 |
| Malcolm's class demonstrates their abilities at a picnic. Malcolm tries to get out of going because it's on the same day Francis comes home. |
| "Lois vs. Evil" |
March 19, 2000 |
Jack Amiel |
Todd Holland |
109 |
9 |
| Lois gets fired after Dewey steals a $150 bottle of cognac from the store, leaving the family struggling to make ends meet. Meanwhile, Francis is honor-guard at a beauty pageant. |
| "Stock Car Races" |
April 2, 2000 |
Dick Richardson |
Todd Holland |
110 |
10 |
| Hal takes the boys to see stock-car races on a school day. Meanwhile, Lois searches for her paycheck (which Hal took) and, with the help of Malcolm's Krelboyne class teacher, finds incriminating evidence against Hal and the boys while Francis sneaks a snake into the academy. |
| "Funeral" |
April 9, 2000 |
Maggie Bandur |
Arlene Sanford |
111 |
11 |
| Malcolm tries to avoid going to Lois' aunt's funeral so that he can go on his first date, but the funeral plans are cancelled when Lois puts herself on strike and spends the rest of the day relaxing in a bubble bath. |
| "Cheerleader" |
April 16, 2000 |
Dan Kopelman |
Todd Holland |
112 |
12 |
| Reese joins the cheerleading squad to impress a girl he's interested in. |
| "Rollerskates" |
April 30, 2000 |
Alan J. Higgins |
Ken Kwapis |
113 |
13 |
| Hal teaches Malcolm how to rollerskate, but Malcolm becomes so frustrated, he calls his father an obscene name. Meanwhile, Lois hurts her back (after screaming so loud at Reese for tracking mud in the house) and Francis fakes a back injury in order to get out of a camping excursion. |
| "The Bots and the Bees" |
May 7, 2000 |
Alan j. Higgins |
Chris Koch |
114 |
14 |
| With Lois visiting Francis at military school, Hal helps the Krelboynes make a robot. |
| "Smunday" |
May 14, 2000 |
Michael Glouberman |
Jeffrey Melman |
115 |
15 |
| With Lois out of commission due to the flu, the boys take advantage of the situation by doing whatever they want. Meanwhile, Hal considers buying a Porsche. |
| "Water Park" (1) |
May 21, 2000 |
Maggie Bandur |
Ken Kwapis |
116 |
16 |
| The family goes to a water park where Reese and Malcolm finally get their revenge on Lois. Meanwhile, Dewey stays home with an elderly babysitter (played by Bea Arthur), but when the babysitter dies, Dewey runs away and has an adventure of his own. |
| Title |
Original Airdate |
Writer |
Director |
Production # |
Episode # |
| "Traffic Jam" (2) |
November 5, 2000 |
Dan Kopelman |
Todd Holland |
201 |
17 |
| After being banned from the Water Park, the family gets stuck in a traffic jam. Meanwhile, Francis bets fellow cadets that he can eat 100 candy Quacks and Dewey tries to find his way home. |
| "Halloween Approximately" |
November 8, 2000 |
Dan Kopelman |
Todd Holland |
202 |
18 |
| When Francis comes home for Halloween, he and the boys build a rooftop slingshot to use on trick-or-treaters. Meanwhile, Hal and Lois combat a joyrider. |
| "Lois's Birthday" |
November 12, 2000 |
Alex Reid |
Ken Kwapis |
203 |
19 |
| Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey blow the money used to buy Lois a birthday present on candy, sending the angry wife and mother to a fun center, where she takes out all her aggressions of being underappreciated in the batting cage. |
| "Dinner Out" |
November 15, 2000 |
Michael Glouberman |
Jeffrey Melmen |
204 |
20 |
| The family goes to dinner with the Kenarbans. |
| "Casino" |
November 19, 2000 |
Gary Murphy |
Tod Holland |
205 |
21 |
| When the family vacations at a casino, Hal, Malcolm, and Reese wander into an Army artillery range after being kicked out for counting cards at a blackjack game. Meanwhile, Lois and Dewey win a day at the spa. |
| "Convention" |
November 22, 2000 |
Bob Stevens |
Jeffrey Melman |
206 |
22 |
| Hal and Lois wreak havoc out of town, while the boys struggle to behave themselves for a sexy babysitter (Melody Perkins). |
| "Robbery" |
November 26, 2000 |
Alan J. Higgins |
Todd Holland |
207 |
23 |
| Lois and Craig get caught in a robbery at the Lucky Aide, where Craig finally admits his feelings for Lois. Meanwhile, Hal and the boys bring home an armoire--and end up battling against the dozens of bats that live within the armoire. |
| "Therapy" |
November 29, 2000 |
Ian Busch |
Ken Kwapis |
208 |
24 |
| Malcolm ditches Medieval week with the Krelboynes by faking a breakdown and spending time with the school psychologist until Reese gets wind of it and copies his tactics. Dewey excels at table skittles. Lois attempts to clean out a packed closet. Francis takes over the academy laundry room. |
| "High School Play" |
December 10, 2000 |
Maggie Bandur |
Jeffrey Melman |
209 |
25 |
| Malcolm gets a role in a high school play and becomes obsessed with gossip. Caroline Miller gives birth in the school parking lot when the Krelboynes' model rocket launch goes awry. |
| "The Bully" |
December 17, 2000 |
Alex Reid |
Jeffrey Melman |
210 |
26 |
| After being beaten by a girl in a wrestling match, Reese relinquishes his bullying image, which is bad news for Malcolm. Francis tries to avoid his birthday in the academy because his cadets will shave his hair off on his birthday. |
| "Old Mrs. Old" |
January 7, 2001 |
Alan J. Higgins |
Todd Holland |
211 |
27 |
| Malcolm must help an old woman (Florence Stanley) in the neighborhood with whatever she wants of him, and he ends up driving her car. Francis' boyhood friend Ritchie is sent to the same military academy. |
| "Krelboyne Girl" |
January 14, 2001 |
Bob Stevens |
Arlene Sanford |
212 |
28 |
| Malcolm meets the new girl Cynthia (Tania Raymonde), who starts to have a crush on him. |
| "New Neighbors" |
January 21, 2001 |
Maggie Bandur |
Ken Kwapis |
213 |
29 |
| Annoying neighbors move next door. Hal bonds with the father (it is implied that the father falls in love with Hal), while the other members get off to the wrong start. The son (Michael Welch) makes ridiculous lies about Malcolm and denounces him as a Peeping Tom. The daughter (Dakota Fanning) won't stop biting Reese, The busty mother and Lois hate each other from the start, Dewey develops a fear of their Garden Gnome. Meanwhile Commandant Spangler prepares for a visit from Oliver North, but gets drunk beforehand. |
| "Hal Quits" |
February 4, 2001 |
Michael Glouberman |
Ken Kwapis |
214 |
30 |
| Hal goes through a mid-life crisis and takes a leave of absence from his job to fulfill his dream of becoming an artist. It goes well at first,he's happier, he has a higher sex drive,and he even gives good advice to the boys. However he soon tires of it until his unseen masterpiece is complete. Francis is forced to work at the Lucky Aide during Spring Break. Meanwhile Malcolm contemplates his career future after hal leaves his job. |
| "The Grandparents" |
February 11, 2001 |
Gary Murphy |
Todd Holland |
215 |
31 |
| Lois' parents (Robert Loggia and Cloris Leachman) visit and cause havok in the home for everyone (save Reese). Meanwhile, Hal buys a new refrigerator that causes some controversy in the household, and marital tension between Lois and Hal. In the end, grandpa and Reese blow it up with a Grenade. |
| "Traffic Ticket" |
February 18, 2001 |
Larry Strawther |
Jeffrey Melman |
216 |
32 |
| Lois is given a ticket that she's sure she doesn't deserve, even though videotape evidence shows she's wrong. |
| "Surgery" |
February 25, 2001 |
Maggie Bandur |
Jeffrey Melman |
217 |
33 |
| Malcolm is sent to the hospital for the wrong reasons and the rest of the family become obsessed with playing March and Conquer. Meanwhile, Francis and his cadets go on a hunger strike after Commandant Spangler takes away their television. |
| "Reese Cooks" |
March 4, 2001 |
Dan Kopelman |
Jeffrey Melman |
218 |
34 |
| Reese is taken to a cooking class as punishment, and quickly finds that he excels at it (This will later become a recurring theme in the series). He excels at it so much that he enters a cooking contest and, although he would have won, taints all the other contestants presentations. In the end Hal and Lois learn that the only effective way to punish him is to take away his cooking privalages. Meanwhile Cynthia plans to throw a party in attempt to make new friends, but Malcolm ruins it by telling her that no one will come. In the end, Malcolm learns that if you invite people to a party they will show up. Also, Francis and Eric have a term assignment du in a week or they face summer school, but Francis won't stop procrastinating. |
| "Tutoring Reese" |
March 11, 2001 |
Ian Busch |
Ken Kwapis |
219 |
35 |
| Lois makes Malcolm tutor Reese to get Reese's grades up. Malcolm helps Reese study and eventually cheat, but the teacher sabotages Reese's efforts. In a parody of The Prodigal Son Francis lives with Richie to take a stand against Lois, but realizes that living with him is hell, caves eventually. |
| "Bowling" |
April 1, 2001 |
Alex Reid |
Todd Holland |
220 |
36 |
In this Sliding Doors-style story, the viewer simultaneously sees what happens when the boys go bowling with Hal and what happens when they go bowling with Lois. Meanwhile, Dewey stays at home after getting in trouble for killing the neighbor's parakeet.
NOTE: This episode won an Emmy.
|
| "Malcolm vs. Reese" |
April 22, 2001 |
Dan Kopelman |
Todd Holland |
221 |
37 |
| Francis bribes Malcolm and Reese with tickets to a wrestling match, forcing them to humiliate themselves and do all his chores, which later turns into a battle of revenge on each other. In the end Francis decides to take a hot girl Cerina Vincent to the match. In an act of revenge Malcolm and Reese convince the cops that Francis is a kidnapper. Dewey cares for Craig's cat, which runs away, leading Hal and Dewey on an adventure to find him. Lois accidentally burns down Craig's apartment, and Craig moves in with the family. |
| "Mini-Bike" |
April 29, 2001 |
Michael Glouberman |
Ken Kwapis |
222 |
38 |
| Craig drives the family insane while living with them. The boys buy and repair a mini bike, which Reese promptly crashes and gets injured in the process. Hal attends a Father/Son weekend at Marlon Academy and becomes disappointed with Francis when he finds he is in no sports and has no honors, but realizes that being a good friend to the students is more important in the end. |
| "Carnival" |
May 6, 2001 |
Alex Reid |
Ken Kwapis |
223 |
39 |
| Reese, Malcolm and Dewey plot to hitchhike with Stevie to the county fair. |
| "Evacuation" |
May 13, 2001 |
Gary Murphy |
Todd Holland |
224 |
40 |
| Hal and Dewey accidentally drop a couch on the railroad tracks, and the town ends up being evacuated after a train containing toxic waste derails. The resulting evacuation results in several instances happening, including Dewey exploiting everyone's sympathy by claiming that his parents died in a toxic cloud and gaining the nickname "The Toxic Child", and Lois trying to maintain a grounding for Malcolm for coming home two hours late prior to the accident after breaking a promise ( which she has to "spank" him for), and Reese running a Black Market style organization in the gym. In the end, Malcolm manages to stay inside the evacuation centre, while the rest of the family is forced to stay outside for their actions. Meanwhile, Francis and Eric go on double dates. |
| "Flashback" |
May 20, 2001 |
Ian Busch |
Jeffrey Melman |
225 |
41 |
| While Hal worries over the possibility of Lois being pregnant again, the two look back at the memories of their children's births, from Francis being born while Hal and Lois get married to Dewey's birth after Hal gets a new job. |
| Title |
Original Airdate |
Writer(s) |
Director |
Production # |
Episode # |
| "Houseboat" (1) |
November 11, 2001 |
Bob Steven |
Todd Holland |
301 |
42 |
| Malcolm's family and the Kenarbans spend vacation together on a houseboat. |
| "Emancipation" (2) |
November 14, 2001 |
Alan J. Higgis |
James Simons |
302 |
43 |
| Francis gets emancipated, while Malcolm deals with a new teacher (Chris Eigeman). |
| "Book Club" |
November 18, 2001 |
Alex Reid |
Todd Holland |
303 |
44 |
| Lois attempts to escape the boys' nightly misbehavior by joining a women's book club, but she soon realizes that the night is merely an excuse for the women to socialize--and to plot against a PTA mom who seems to handle her children and all other motherly duties with ease. Meanwhile, Hal struggles to keep the boys in order and away from the illegal fireworks hidden in the backyard. |
| "Malcolm's Girlfriend" |
November 28, 2001 |
Ian Busch |
Ken Kwapis |
304 |
45 |
| After getting a girlfriend, Malcolm begins to neglect his family and friends. Meanwhile, Dewey gets a new friend, and uses his friend's wealth for his own needs. |
| "Charity" |
December 2, 2001 |
Gary Murphy |
Jeffrey Melman |
305 |
46 |
| When Lois forces the boys into community service to build character, they choose to work at a church charity. After a series of events, they go from trading their own stuff to stealing the merchandise and creating a black market. Francis finally reaches his destination in Alaska. |
| "Health Scare" |
December 9, 2001 |
Dan Kopelman |
Todd Holland |
306 |
47 |
| When news hits that Hal may have a serious illness, Lois becomes meaner than usual. Meanwhile, Francis has a showdown with combative Lavernia in Alaska. |
| "Christmas" |
December 16, 2001 |
Maggie Bandur |
Jeffrey Melman |
307 |
48 |
| Lois issues an ultimatum - the boys behave or Christmas is canceled. Francis must spend Christmas with Grandma Ida. |
| "Poker" |
January 6, 2002 |
Michael Borkow |
Ken Kwapis |
308 |
49 |
| Hal gets competitive with Abe in poker; Lois gets carried away with her dance lessons; Francis is trapped in an Alaskan blizzard. |
| "Reese's Job" |
January 20, 2002 |
Neil Thompson |
Todd Holland |
309 |
50 |
| Reese gets a job at a fast-food joint; the newest Krelboyne rivals Malcolm's intellect; Hal and Lois try to sabotage Dewey's attempts to get a new dog. |
| "Lois's Makeover" |
January 27, 2002 |
Michael Glouberman |
Jeffrey Melman |
310 |
51 |
| At Lucky Aide, secret shoppers make their performance reviews. Lois finds out that she performs poorly in appearances and is forced to dress up her appearance. Hal is re-energized after beating the boys at basketball; a rat infestation gives Francis a new job. |
| "Company Picnic (1)" |
February 3, 2002 |
Alan J. Higgins |
Todd Holland |
311 |
52 |
| The family attends Hal's family picnic. Hal tries to avoid his new boss because of his bleak history of first impressions and Malcolm sees an old crush; Guest Appearances include:
|
| "Company Picnic (2)" |
February 3, 2002 |
Alan J. Higgins |
Todd Holland |
312 |
53 |
| The conclusion to the first part of the episode. Reese & his scavenger hunt partner wreak havoc, Hal confronts his boss and Malcolm gets himself into a very awkward position.
Guest Appearances include (along with guests from Company Picnic (1):
|
| "Reese Drives" |
February 10, 2002 |
Michael Glouberman |
Jeffrey Melman |
313 |
54 |
| Reese gets a learner's permit and promptly commandeers a driving-school vehicle. |
| "Cynthia's Back " |
February 17, 2002 |
Maggie Bandur |
Ken Kwais |
314 |
55 |
| Cynthia returns from Europe and Malcolm discovers that she has a more 'developed' figure. |
| "Hal's Birthday" |
March 3, 2002 |
Alex Reid |
Levie Issacks |
315 |
56 |
| A birthday surprise - Francis comes home on Hal's birthday with his new wife - Piama (Emy Coligado). |
| "Hal Coaches" |
March 10, 2002 |
Ian Busch |
Jeffrey Melman |
316 |
57 |
| Hal decides to coach Dewey's soccer team and turns the team into a team of monsters. |
| "Dewey's Dog" |
April 7, 2002 |
Michael Glouberman |
Bob Stevens |
317 |
58 |
| Dewey finds a dog and uses him to his advantage - to gain the upper hand over Malcolm and Reese making them wear dresses and makeup. On their anniversary, Hal and Lois try to make the best of it, with nothing that could ruin it except the flu. |
| "Poker #2"" |
April 21, 2002 |
Bill Hooper |
Jeffrey Melman |
318 |
59 |
| Hal & Abe, along with their friends, play extremely well in poker; Malcolm, Stevie, and Reese are forced to spend the night with 2 popular girls (Dana Davis and Lindsey Haun); Reese plays matchmaker as he tells the girls that Stevie has a terminal illness; Malcolm discovers one of the girls has an automatic handgun, and tries to hide it from her, with unintentional results. |
| "Clip Show" |
April 28, 2002 |
Michael Borkow |
Jaime Babbit |
319 |
60 |
| The boys recall their antics [by way of cold openers] with a psychiatrist (Andy Richter). |
| "Jury Duty" |
May 1, 2002 |
Pang-Ni Landrum |
Ken Kwapis |
320 |
61 |
| Lois goes to jury duty. Malcolm & Reese see Kitty naked over the weekend and can't help bragging about it while they, along with Dewey and Stevie, spend the day exploring a sewer. Hal and Abe think that the case Lois is on is the Reyes case, and spend the day proving their own theories on who's the guilty party. Francis and the other guys are trapped in an ice fishing shed with a bear outside. |
| "Cliques" |
May 5, 2002 |
Michael Borkow |
Jeffrey Melman |
321 |
62 |
| The Krelboynes are forced to join the general school population. |
| "Monkey" |
May 12, 2002 |
Dan Kopelma |
Ken Kwapis |
322 |
63 |
| After knocking out a burglar, Reese turns to law enforcement. A capuchin monkey gives Craig a tough time back at home. Francis is fired because there are no more trees to cut down. |
| Title |
Original Airdate |
Writer(s) |
Director |
Production # |
Episode # |
| "Zoo" |
November 3, 2002 |
Michael Glouberman |
Todd Holland |
401 |
64 |
| Malcolm is depressed, and the family goes to the zoo. Reese battles a goat, while Malcolm & Dewey end up in a tiger pit. Francis meets Otto & Gretchen and takes a job at their dude ranch. Lois' ex-boyfriend (Tim DeKay) puts a tarantula on Hal. |
| "Humilithon" |
November 10, 2002 |
Michael Borkow |
Jeffrey Melman |
402 |
65 |
| Malcolm's first day of high school gets off to a bad start being embarrassed by his mom in front of the entire school, but Cynthia manages to save his new reputation. |
| "Family Reunion" |
November 17, 2002 |
Alex Reid |
Ken Kwapis |
403 |
66 |
| The family goes to Hal's family reunion, where his family makes Lois miserable. Christopher Lloyd guest stars as Hal's father. |
| "Stupid Girl" |
November 24, 2002 |
Dan Kopelman |
Todd Holland |
404 |
67 |
| Malcolm pretends to be stupid so he can win over a cute girl who really is stupid. Meanwhile, Hal rents a roller compactor. |
| "Forwards Backwards" |
December 1, 2002 |
Maggie Bandur |
Levie Issacks |
405 |
68 |
| Malcolm argues with Reese days before his birthday. Through flashbacks, the viewer can see where, when, and why Malcolm and Reese are arguing. Meanwhile, Francis and Otto encounter an evil cow. |
| "Forbidden Girlfriend" |
December 15, 2002 |
Matthew Carlson |
Jamime Babbit |
406 |
69 |
| While Malcolm begins dating a girl named Nikki (Reagan Dale Neis) whose father hates him, Dewey discovers he's an 'evil twin' and Francis mediates a dispute between Otto and his cowboy neighbors. |
| "Malcolm Holds His Tongue" |
January 5, 2003 |
Gary Mrphy |
Jeffrey Melman |
407 |
70 |
| Malcolm decides to keep his opinions to himself. Meanwhile, Reese goes on a date with his girlfriend... and Craig and Hal try race-walking. |
| "Boys at Ranch" |
January 12, 2003 |
Neil Thompson |
David D'Ovidio |
408 |
71 |
| The boys & Hal visit the ranch. Francis shocks the boys by being mature, while Otto & Hal get drunk and stranded in the desert. |
| "Grandma Sues" |
February 2, 2003 |
Michael Glouberman |
James Simons |
409 |
72 |
| After slipping on a leaf, Ida sues Malcolm's family. Meanwhile, Lois discovers that she is pregnant. |
| "If Boys Were Girls" |
February 9, 2003 |
Nahnatchaka Khan |
Ken Kapis |
410 |
73 |
| In this "what-if" story, Lois imagines her life if her four rowdy sons were daughters--and discovers that it's not an improvement. |
| "Long Drive" |
March 2, 2003 |
Michael Borkow |
Levie Issacks |
411 |
74 |
| Reese ends up in prison for a day. Lois drives Malcolm with her and tells him everything about sex. Dewey causes a feud in Hal's six-man band. Francis accidentally blows up Otto's favorite cow. |
| "Kicked Out" |
March 9, 2003 |
Alex Reid |
Jeffrey Melman |
412 |
75 |
| A combination of Malcolm's disgust as the house around them is falling apart, and Hal's fear-induced, "zero tolerance" attempts at maintaining peace and order in the family, results in Malcolm being kicked out of the house. |
| "Stereo Store" |
March 16, 2003 |
Matthew Carlson |
Bryan Cranston |
413 |
76 |
Hal gets a second job at "U-Buy It". Meanwhile, a girl from Malcolm's school named Jessica (Hayden Panettiere from Heroes) babysits Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey.
NOTE: This marks Bryan Cranston's Malcolm directorial debut.
|
| "Hal's Friend" |
March 30, 2003 |
Dan Kopelman |
Jeffrey Melman |
414 |
77 |
| Hal meets up with a friend (Joel Murray), who turns out to be the same type of guy he was when they last met. |
| "Garage Sale" |
April 6, 2003 |
Miggie Bandur |
Levie Issacks |
415 |
78 |
| Lois comes back home. After her visit with Susan, who blabbed about how Lois was hopeless, Lois thinks that she should cut Reese some slack and lets him be in charge of the family garage sale. Meanwhile, Hal finds his old transmitter, and continues his pirate radio station he did back in college under the pseudonym Kid Charlemagne. |
| "Academic Octathlon" |
April 13, 2003 |
Rob Hanning |
Todd Holland |
416 |
79 |
| Herkabe forces Malcolm to join the academic octathlon team. When Herkabe decides for them to cheat, Malcolm chooses to make everyone pay. |
| "Clip Show #2" |
April 20, 2003 |
Maggie Bandur |
Levie Issacks |
417 |
80 |
| In this second clip show, Hal and Lois are penning their will, and think back to all the trouble their sons put them through. |
| "Reese's Party" |
April 27, 2003 |
Andy Bobrow |
Levie Issacks |
418 |
81 |
| Lois & Hal are out of the house and Reese decides to throw a party. All is fine, until a gang of hoodlums turn the party into a meth operation. |
| "Future Malcolm" |
May 4, 2003 |
Michael Glouberman |
Ken Kwapis |
419 |
82 |
| While at the park, Malcolm meets a depressed, middle-aged man (played by Jason Alexander from Seinfeld) who may be Malcolm's future self. |
| "Baby (1)" |
May 11, 2003 |
Rob Hanning |
James Simons |
420 |
83 |
| The boys & Hal go to a bridal shower. Ida makes an unwelcome visit, and right near the end of the episode, Lois goes into labor. |
| "Baby (2)" |
May 18, 2003 |
Michael Borkow |
Jamie Babbit |
421 |
84 |
| Hal keeps having delusional dreams at the hospital while Lois is in labor. Meanwhile, the boys take parenting classes to become better brothers to their next sibling. |
| "Day Care" |
May 18, 2003 |
Gary Murphy |
Steve Love |
422 |
85 |
| A church-run day care center accepts Lois' wailing newborn but in return Reese and Dewey must attend Bible-study classes. |
| Title |
Original Airdate |
Writer(s) |
Director |
Production # |
Episode # |
| "Vegas" |
November 2, 2003 |
Michael Glouberman |
Bryan Craston |
501 |
86 |
| Francis neglects his work. The family travels to Las Vegas. Reese and Dewey show an obese rabbit at a competition. Hal has a prophetic dream of winning at a slot machine. Lois goes backstage with her favorite singer (David Cassidy). |
| "Watching the Baby" |
November 9, 2003 |
Alex Reid |
Levie Issacks |
502 |
87 |
| Hot, popular girls want to be seen with Reese, Malcolm and Stevie as revenge on their boyfriends. One of them "wants" to kiss Reese. However, they have to stay home to take care of Jamie. Dewey, stuck at home with Jamie, tells him an elaborate story in which their parents are secretly wealthy, and have a hidden "secret good house" in their closet. Hal wants to buy diapers for Jamie but can't pay for them, so he has to work for Craig at the Lucky Aide. He and the other employees end up starting a revolution to overthrow Craig. |
| "Goodbye Kitty" |
November 16, 2003 |
Neil Thompson |
James Simons |
503 |
88 |
| Stevie finds out his mother Kitty has divorced his dad. Lois' high school diary falls into Reese's backpack; Reese reads it and becomes infatuated with the original owner. Dewey wishes to regress into wanting to be a baby again. |
| "Thanksgiving" |
November 23, 2003 |
Matthew Carlson |
David D'Ovidio |
504 |
89 |
| Reese displays monomania and culinary genius while making Thanksgiving dinner. Francis and Piama get into a fight and nearly divorce until Lois steps in. Malcolm goes out to a party, where he spends half the time trying to figure out if a girl (Alessandra Toreson) is flirting with him. They get drunk and almost have sex, Malcolm runs home and tells Francis that he is a coward, until Francis gives him some good advice. |
| "Malcolm Films Reese" |
November 30, 2003 |
Dan Kopelman |
Levie Issacks |
505 |
90 |
| Malcolm films Reese for a school psychology assignment, he later finds out that his teacher had planned it to turn his classmates against him. Dewey works as a street performer behind Lois and Hal's back, but he might be let off the hook when they are in some financial difficulties. |
| "Malcolm's Job" |
December 7, 2003 |
Maggie Bandur |
Steve Welch |
506 |
91 |
| Reese and Malcolm get jobs. Malcolm catches Lois smoking at work. Hal takes a class to spend more time with Jamie. Dewey wants brothering from Francis. |
| "Christmas Trees" |
December 14, 2003 |
Alex Reid |
Steve Love |
507 |
92 |
| Hal, Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey go into business selling Christmas trees. Craig is bitten by a squirrel. Otto's family visits the ranch. |
| "Block Party" |
January 4, 2004 |
Rob Ulin |
Levie Issacks |
508 |
93 |
| The family come back early from their yearly vacation to find that their neighbors have been holding an annual block party to celebrate their absence. |
| "Dirty Magazine" |
January 11, 2004 |
Eric Kaplan |
Bryan Cranston |
509 |
94 |
| Malcolm is a part of the school newsletter team. When a student appears with a brilliant story, Malcolm decides to publish it despite the graphic and adult nature it displays, leaving Principal Block (Kurtwood Smith) to cancel all extracurricular activities rather than "turning their high school into an adult bookstore". |
| "Hot Tub" |
January 25, 2004 |
Andy Bobrow |
James Smmons |
510 |
95 |
| Hal buys a hot tub. Malcolm gets his learner's permit while Reese steals Dewey's new friend Noah. Gretchen's former fiance who is also Otto's best friend comes to the ranch. |
| "Ida's Boyfriend" |
February 8, 2004 |
Nel Thompson |
Peter Lauer |
511 |
96 |
| Ida plans to drug a Chinese man (James Hong) into marrying her and take all of his money. Malcolm gets his tongue pierced, while Dewey pretends that Reese is non-existent (making Reese worried) after Reese smashes Dewey's model ship. |
| "Softball" |
February 15, 2004 |
Michael Glouberman |
Ken Kwapis |
512 |
97 |
| Malcolm unwillingly joins the Lucky Aide softball team. |
| "Lois's Sister" |
February 22, 2004 |
Gary Murphy |
David O'Dividio |
513 |
98 |
| Lois's sister (Laurie Metcalf) visits and Lois learns she needs a new kidney. |
| "Malcolm Dates a Family" |
March 14, 2004 |
Rob Ulin |
Steve Welch |
514 |
99 |
| Lois boycotts Luigi's (the family's favorite restaurant), while Malcolm dates an intellectual family's daughter (Sara Paxton), and gets involved with the family in the process. |
| "Reese's Apartment" |
March 21, 2004 |
Dan Kopleman |
David Grossman |
515 |
100 |
| Reese moves out after the parents get upset over something we might never know (although it was big and it involved cats and evacuation). |
| "Malcolm Visits College" |
March 28, 2004 |
David Wright |
[Peter Lauer]] |
516 |
101 |
| Malcolm looks forward to visiting college, but it becomes a nightmare when Lois comes along and they meet the dorm head, Leland. Dewey steals items around the house to drive Hal nuts and to build a piano. Reese pretends to be a drug dealer to go out with the school's narc. Francis and Otto take care of a day care, with disastrous results. |
| "Polly in the Middle" |
April 25, 2004 |
Matthew Carson |
Steve Love |
517 |
102 |
| Polly the babysitter (Julie Hagerty) is caught in a love triangle between Abe & Craig after Lois and Hal unknowingly set them up on dates. |
| "Dewey's Special Class" |
May 2, 2004 |
Alex Reid |
Bryan Cranston |
518 |
103 |
| Dewey, after deliberately failing rather than excel on an I.Q. test and be in a similar class as Malcolm, is sent to a special class due to Malcolm's advice. |
| "Experiment" |
May 2, 2004 |
Maggie Bandur |
David O'Odivio |
519 |
104 |
| Stevie & Malcolm try to figure out how Reese managed to separate two bases. Dewey sells chocolate bars by fibbing. |
| "Victor's Other Family" |
May 9, 2004 |
Eric Kaplan |
David Grossman |
520 |
105 |
| Lois, Reese, and Malcolm go to Canada to meet Victor's secret family. Dewey dreads Hal running with him since bad things always happen before such events between the two. Betty White guest stars as Victor's other wife. |
| Reese Joins the Army (1) |
May 16, 2004 |
Andy Bobrow |
Steve Love |
521 |
106 |
| Reese runs away. Hal's company goes under à la Enron. |
| "Reese Joins the Army (2)" |
May 23, 2004 |
Andrew Orienstein |
Peter Lauer |
522 |
107 |
| The company uses Hal as a scapegoat, while Reese becomes a top-class soldier and makes his way with his squad into Afghanistan. |
| Title |
Original Airdate |
Production # |
Episode # |
| "Reese Comes Home" (3) |
November 7, 2004 |
601 |
108 |
| Reese ditches the army in Afghanistan. |
| "Buseys Run Away" |
November 14, 2004 |
602 |
109 |
| After learning that Dewey will be leaving their class, the Buseys run away and hide in masses and force Dewey to assist them in pursuit. Unemployed Hal becomes the leader of a group of dimwitted body builders. |
| "Standee" |
November 21, 2004 |
603 |
110 |
| Hal dumps a cat habitat with the garbage and inadvertently picks a fight with the local garbagemen. Meanwhile, Lois holds a grudge on Malcolm for not helping her standup against a racist supermarket cardboard cutout. |
| " Pearl Harbor" |
December 5, 2004 |
604 |
111 |
| Hal goes into war with his neighbor for the Decor crown. Hal strikes with Pearl Harbor day, but the neighbor fights back, so Hal tries to ruin it. Jessica insinuates herself into Malcolm's household and convinces Malcolm and Reese that the other's gay. |
| "Kitty's Back" |
December 12, 2004 |
605 |
112 |
| Kitty (Merrin Dungey) returns after having done everything imaginable and wants to return to her family to Lois's dismay. |
| "Hal's Christmas Gift" |
December 19, 2004 |
606 |
113 |
| The family's broke and the boys are dispirited but Hal is determined to come through with a surprise. |
| "Hal Sleepwalks" |
January 16, 2005 |
607 |
114 |
| Hal, after remembering previous anniversary blunders while trying to make the 20th a good one, starts to sleepwalk, and Reese takes advantage. Malcolm takes up playing the guitar. He performs a tune for his family, which Dewey figures out it's sung to the tune of the Meow Mix jingle. |
| "Lois Battles Jamie" |
January 23, 2005 |
608 |
115 |
| Jamie battles Lois with devilish wiles that weaken her will to make the child behave. The other boys discover a diving board and Reese goes crazy trying to think of the perfect thing to do with it. |
| "Malcolm's Car" |
January 30, 2005 |
609 |
116 |
| Malcolm has his ups and downs with a used Plymouth Barracuda. |
| "Billboard" |
February 13, 2005 |
610 |
117 |
| A questionable billboard is put up. Malcolm, Reese and Dewey try to vandalize it, but after being caught by Lois, Malcolm turns it into a women's rights protest to keep them out of trouble. |
| "Dewey's Opera" |
February 20, 2005 |
611 |
118 |
| After being moved to tears by watching an opera, Dewey tries to make one of his own based on the life of his family (in his fantasy his family members start to sing when fighting). |
| "Living Will" |
March 6, 2005 |
612 |
119 |
| A neighbor gives Hal power of attorney and he is forced to choose whether to pull the plug on his neighbor, meaning life or death from a coma, à la Terri Schiavo. Craig feuds with his father. |
| "Tiki Lounge" |
March 13, 2005 |
613 |
120 |
| When Hal and Lois discover that they barely have any time to talk to each other, Hal forces the boys to build a tiki lounge in the garage. Malcolm is forced to join the school Booster club. |
| "Ida Loses a Leg" |
March 20, 2005 |
614 |
121 |
| An accident makes Ida one-legged. Dewey wants to make a memorial out of the leg. |
| "Chad's Sleepover" |
March 27, 2005 |
615 |
122 |
| Dewey's friend, Chad (Cameron Monaghan), visits, and shows that he is an "organized" person. Hal has an issue of a sleazy picture he took of a naked Lois. |
| "No Motorcycles" |
April 3, 2005 |
616 |
123 |
| Francis asks Hal to complete a promise he made to him as a child, but it has to be done behind Lois's back. |
| "Butterflies" |
April 10, 2005 |
617 |
124 |
| Reese raises caterpillars. Malcolm works the graveyard shift with Lois and discovers a man (Dan Butler) living at the Lucky Aide. |
| "Ida's Dance" |
April 17, 2005 |
618 |
125 |
| Lois & Ida have to prepare for traditional festivities. |
| "Motivational Speaker" |
April 24, 2005 |
619 |
126 |
| Hal handles a motivational seminar. |
| "Stilts" |
May 1, 2005 |
620 |
127 |
| Lois forces Malcolm to hand out flyers on stilts at the Lucky Aide, replacing Uncle Sam. |
| "Buseys Take a Hostage" |
May 8, 2005 |
621 |
128 |
| The Buseys, without Dewey, hold their teacher hostage. |
| "Mrs. Tri-County" |
May 15, 2005 |
622 |
129 |
| The boys place Lois in the Mrs. Tri-County Beauty Pageant. Hal tries to highlight Lois's big dimples which all the other contestants make fun of her for. |
| Title |
Original Airdate |
Production # |
Episode # |
| "Burning Man" |
September 30, 2005 |
701 |
130 |
| Malcolm and Reese's attempt to hitch their way to the annual Burning Man festival turns into a family vacation when Hal and Lois get in on it. Meanwhile, Dewey does all the chores. |
| "Health Insurance" |
October 7, 2005 |
702 |
131 |
| Hal finds out that the family has been without health insurance for six months and tries to safeguard the house until Monday (when the insurance is put back into effect). Meanwhile, Lois tries to fish out a snitch at the Lucky Aide. |
| "Reese vs Stevie" |
October 21, 2005 |
703 |
132 |
| An angry Reese threatens Stevie, who dreads a retaliation; Dewey gets hooked on cigarettes thanks to ex-smoker Hal's many stashes around the house. Lois tries to get little Jamie to talk by telling him her modern life and her high school years. Jamie's first words are "Shut Up" in response to his mother's non-stop yammering. |
| "Halloween" |
October 28, 2005 |
704 |
133 |
| Hal begins suffering from insomnia after hearing that they purchased a house in which several people were murdered. Meanwhile, Reese and Dewey take baby Jamie trick-or-treating lose him,and get chased by an old man from an egging , and Lois, once again, gets held up at the Lucky Aide trying to stop a shoplifter, after she gets who she thinks is Jamie she is arrested for kidnapping another child |
| "Jessica Stays Over" |
November 4, 2005 |
705 |
134 |
| Jessica moves in on a temporary basis and teaches Malcolm how to manipulate others, but when he uses her tricks on Lois he feels something he has never felt before, empathy. Meanwhile, after he harvests some fresh honey Hal fights back against a bee who is out for revenge for killing the rest of his hive, and Reese attempts to mail himself to China in a crate, and Dewey has him conviced that he has been in there for months. |
| "Secret Boyfriend" |
November 11, 2005 |
706 |
135 |
| Malcolm's in love with a hot and secretly brainy teen named Vicki (Sarah Wright) who fears ruining her image by seeing him publicly. Reese is kicked out of the house for refusing to get a job. |
| "Blackout" |
November 18, 2005 |
707 |
136 |
| A power outage disrupts Lois and Hal's anniversary and reveals Malcolm's trysts with young European women. |
| "Army Buddy" |
December 2, 2005 |
708 |
137 |
| Reese's old army buddy, Abby (Larisa Oleynik) visits and she has feelings for Lois. |
| "Malcolm Defends Reese" |
December 16, 2005 |
709 |
138 |
| Malcolm and Reese end up in the same class since Reese failed the previous year. A happy Mr. Herkabe does everything he can to humiliate Reese until Malcolm loses his grip on the highest GPA in the school which Herkabe wants to keep. |
| "Malcolm's Money" |
January 6, 2006 |
710 |
139 |
| Malcolm begins to fuss about his high school yearbook photo. Malcolm receives a $10,000 education reward and when Hal and Lois find out, they want to spend it on themselves. |
| "Bride of Ida (1)" |
January 13, 2006 |
711 |
140 |
| Dewey, Lois and Hal go out of town to a piano competition; and without Lois around, Grandma Ida makes Reese get married to Ida's helper, Raduca (Rheagan Wallace), but only if he defeats Malcolm in three challenges. When Lois, Dewey and Hal return, they find out that Reese has run with Raduca to Las Vegas to get hitched, much to Ida's dismay. |
| "College Recruiters (2)" |
January 29, 2006 |
712 |
141 |
| A broke Francis gets talked into getting a real job by Dewey. Back home, Hal takes over the college recruiters, which Malcolm refuses to meet with, and treats each one as a suitor. However, Hal's plans are ruined when Malcolm chooses to go to Harvard. Reese and Raduca's marriage ends when Lois and Reese catch Raduca cheating with her other lover, Bela. |
| "Mono" |
February 12, 2006 |
713 |
142 |
| Lois discovers she has mono after a visit to the doctor. She then ends up giving it to Malcolm after her maternal instincts begin. As a result, both Lois and Malcolm are forced to spend two weeks together in the same room. Hal, meanwhile, is invited to all of his neighbors' parties after they know Lois will not be attending any of them. Dewey makes Jamie his slave. |
| "Hal Grieves" |
February 19, 2006 |
714 |
143 |
| Hal gets a devastating phone call that his father has died, but because he never knew his father well he doesn't shed a tear. In an attempt to overcompensate with his kids, Hal takes the boys shopping, lets them miss school and offers to buy Malcolm a new car until Lois steps in. Hal's buddy Abe thinks that a phone call from a cast member of Star Trek: The Original Series will cheer him up. |
| "A.A." |
March 5, 2006 |
715 |
144 |
| Lois and Hal visit Francis to help him celebrate one year of sobriety, but when they attend his A.A. meeting they find out that Lois was the one who drove him to drink. Meanwhile, Dewey finds the spare key to Hal's car, but when Malcolm and Reese refuse to drive him to the arcade, it takes them more than 12 steps to find it. |
| "Lois Strikes Back" |
March 19, 2006 |
716 |
145 |
| When four popular high school girls play an evil prank on Reese by pretending he has a secret admirer and then dropping a pig off at his front door, Lois comes to his rescue. She plots her revenge on the four unsuspecting girls and wreaks havoc on their adolescent lives. Meanwhile, Hal realizes Lois is at a dangerous emotional place so he decides to get some distance and stumbles upon the idea for making his own pitching machine out of stuff in the garage.The girls punishment in order were:
Kristen: Lois managed to steal her helmet, and put a form of adhesive in it so that when she took it off her hair,that she loved, was ruined, and had to have the janitor take her hair out with Hedgeclippers. Diane: Lois stole all of her dolls and stuffed animals, chopped of their heads, and put them in her locker. In the end she had to be wrapped in a blanket and taken to the nurse Heidi: Planted sex toys and condoms in her family room called her house and made her parents think that she and her boyfriend were planning an evening of tryst. She was punished by not being allowed to go to prom Paula: Lois and Reese steal Hal's pitching machine and substitute baseball's for ballons filled with paint. While she and her date are being attacked her date uses her as a sheild to save himself
|
| "Hal's Dentist" |
March 26, 2006 |
717 |
146 |
| Hal's friend Trey tells him to come to his dental office when he loses a tooth during a poker game, but their friendship goes into jeopardy when Hal's faced with a $2,000 bill and causes a fight between them. Reese, meanwhile, teaches Lois how to ride a bike, while Malcolm and Dewey find sleeping as their new favorite pastime after finding a new mattress. |
| "Bomb Shelter" |
April 2, 2006 |
718 |
147 |
| Malcolm joins a local dance class to impress a girl, but when she loses her footing, he realizes that to win the competition he'll need a partner who can step it up. Dick, a rival student in the class who takes dancing a bit too seriously, challenges Malcolm to a dance-off. Meanwhile, Reese and Dewey discover an underground bachelor pad/bomb shelter in the backyard and lock Hal in it. |
| "Stevie in the Hospital" |
April 9, 2006 |
719 |
148 |
| When Stevie goes to the hospital, Malcolm tries making up every excuse he can think of to not go because he can't face the truth about his illness. Meanwhile, back home, Hal gets highly competitive about his new remote control boat, Lois thinks she's going insane, and Reese gets a job. |
| "Cattle Court" |
April 16, 2006 |
720 |
149 |
| Reese meets a cute vegetarian named Carrie (Tara Lipinski) when he goes back to work at the meat plant. He goes along with her politics talk at first, but she catches him with a pork chop. So, to get Carrie back, he sets free all the cows at the meat plant. Malcolm, meanwhile, tries to fool Lois in order to attend a rock concert, only to end up making Craig miserable. |
| "Morp" |
April 23, 2006 |
721 |
150 |
| For the senior prom, Reese gets paid to take Janine, a studious girl in class, but only after she gives him a makeover and sends him to finishing school. Malcolm aligns himself with the unpopular kids to form an anti-prom they call "Morp". Dewey discovers there aren't any childhood pictures of him, so he concocts an elaborate scavenger hunt to punish Hal and Lois. |
| "Graduation" |
May 14, 2006 |
722 |
151 |
| In the series finale, Malcolm struggles with his valedictorian speech, Hal finds out that the family may not have enough money to send Malcolm to college, Francis finds the 9 to 5 job of his dreams, Reese tries to be a permanent janitor, and Lois is pregnant yet again. |
