Main Cast: French Stewart, Bridgette Wilson, Bill Bellamy, Tyra Banks, Steve Hytner, Jason Bateman, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen
Release Year: 1999
Country: US
Run Time: 94 minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Plot
What happens when you realize that your new girlfriend isn't going to be the love of your life -- but she doesn't happen to agree? Seth Winnick (French Stewart) is a television writer attending the wedding of his close friends Larry (Bill Bellamy) and Holly (Tyra Banks), where he meets a strikingly beautiful woman named Chelsea (Bridgette Wilson). Seth falls in love with Chelsea, and she feels the same way. But before long, Chelsea wants a more permanent commitment; and the more Seth backs off, the more Chelsea makes clear that she's not giving him up. Before long Seth is desperate to get away -- and Chelsea is not about to let that happen. Love Stinks marked the first leading film role for comic actor French Stewart, best known for his work as Harry, the chronically puzzled alien on the television series Third Rock from the Sun. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
Review
The saying goes that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but in the case of Love Stinks, you shouldn't judge it by the video box...or the title...or the male lead. It's better than those external elements suggest, but how could it be worse: Bridgette Wilson, clad in lingerie and a veil, digs her stiletto heel into the back of a bound and gagged French Stewart -- that's right, the most annoying of the annoying aliens on Third Rock From the Sun. But the J. Geils Band need not cringe -- Jeff Franklin's story is surprisingly clever, especially Stewart's snappy lines, which strike the right tone for a sitcom writer adept at riffing on the fly. Stewart manages to set aside the goofy affect, and a number of game supporters flesh out the ensemble, including Jason Bateman and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen spoofing their television backgrounds, and Seinfeld alums Steve Hytner (Banya) and John O'Hurley (Peterman). This might all translate into a dandy recommendation if it weren't for the little matter of all the misogyny. At first starting with a mild and truthful sketch of a woman pushing a tad too hard to get married, Franklin reduces Wilson's character to a hell-bent shrew without any remaining shreds of sympathy. As the movie degenerates into a succession of alternating revenge fantasies, it loses its deceptively shrewd edge, slipping from observant relationship comedy to simplistic portrait of one-sided obsessiveness. Sometimes the cover isn't that far off after all. ~ Derek Armstrong, All Movie Guide
Seth (Stewart), a sitcomwriter-producer, meets Chelsea (Wilson), an interior decorator, at his best friend's (Bellamy) wedding. He's immediately sexually attracted to her while she's instantly attracted to his single-ness. They both ditch their wedding dates and start their own date that same night.
Chelsea changes from her bridesmaid dress into a sexy outfit and tells him that she has only one rule: she won't have sex with a guy until they have had at least three meals together. Seth proceeds to speed date through the evening ensuring that they actually eat three meals. They end up in the showroom of Chelsea’s job having sex on a four poster bed until Chelsea’s boss interrupts them and presumably fires Chelsea.
Seth then hires Chelsea to decorate his new house and through a series of manipulative events, Chelsea ends up living with and mooching off of Seth. She tries to get him to marry her through a combination of skimpy outfits and wild mood swings. When she finally realizes he's not going to propose, she turns into a vengeful harpy and makes his life hell.
Seth soon breaks up with Chelsea. However, she refuses to leave his home and instead sues Seth for palimony. Seth and Chelsea then proceed to engage in a series of actions in which each character tries to get even with the other. For example, Seth pretends to hurl Chelsea's cat over the Santa Monica Pier and farts in their still shared bed, while Chelsea puts depilatory lotion into his shampoo and breaks his treasured collection of Elvis plates.
After a palimony hearing ends in disaster, Chelsea tells Seth she's going to a spa. Seth follows her to the spa and cancels her room and treatment reservations to torment her. While there, Seth convinces Chelsea to accept a $100,000 settlement after they are both pushed into a swimming pool and have begun to engage in "hate sex" on the beach. However, upon their return, Chelsea manages to have Seth evicted from his home and demands a larger settlement totaling $200,000. Banished to a cheap motel room, Seth realizes that the only way out of this mess is to actually marry Chelsea. He kidnaps her using chloroform, takes her to the Griffith Observatory and proposes marriage. Chelsea eagerly accepts.
The final scene takes place in a Las Vegaswedding chapelaltar complete with an Elvis preacher, their best friends (Bellamy & Banks), and a trio of sequined backup singers. When it is Seth's turn to say "I do," he says instead "I...I...I don't think so." Everyone is surprised and he explains that this shenanigan was a hoax to get Chelsea to dismiss the lawsuit and to regain his home. Prior to leaving for Las Vegas, Seth (with Chelsea's knowledge) sells his house telling his "fiancee" that he wants a fresh start in a new home with her. In actuality, the buyers were his dentist and his dental assistant who plan to sell the home back to Seth forthwith. As he is currently not the owner of this home, both he and Chelsea have no legal rights to the property.
As Seth leaves the chapel, Chelsea grabs a security guard's gun and shoots Seth in the butt. The film ends with Chelsea being arrested, as Seth swears off women.
