Ménage à trois

Postcard, c. 1910

Ménage à trois is a French term which originally described a domestic arrangement in which three people having sexual relations occupy the same household – the phrase literally translates as "household of three."^[1]. In contemporary usage, the meaning of the term has been extended to mean any living relationship between three people, whether or not sex is involved, but because it has also been extended to refer to the actual sexual act between three people, otherwise known as a threesome, the term retains its suggestive quality.

Historical instances

Some known examples are

• Emma Hamilton, her husband, and Horatio Nelson.
• Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, the Duke of Devonshire, and Lady Elizabeth Foster
• Henry Mond, 2nd Baron Melchett his wife, Amy Gwen Wilson, and writer Gilbert Cannan.
• In Sweden in 1775, Count Adolf Fredrik Munck af Fulkila had reputedly been hired by king Gustaf III to assist him in the consummation of his marriage with Queen Sophie Magdalena. He was to act as sexual instructor for the couple. His "aid" is alleged to have resulted in the birth of the future King Gustaf IV Adolf in 1778. By further rumors, he was the lover of the king as well as of the queen. These rumors eventually had serious political implications in the end of the House of Vasa's rule in Sweden.

In popular culture

The ménage à trois is a recurring theme in fiction and has been the subject of a number of books, plays, films and songs. Some notable examples include:

Literature

• Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Mists of Avalon (1982): relates the relationship of King Arthur, Guinevere, and Lancelot as a ménage à trois.
• Michael Cunningham, A Home At The End Of The World (1990): centers for the most part on a ménage à trois.
• Arnon Grunberg, The Asylum Seeker (2003): has a ménage à trois involving a disillusioned man, a terminally ill woman, and an asylum seeker.
• Ernest Hemingway, The Garden of Eden (written 1946–1961, published 1986): centers on an American expatriate couple who bring another woman into their marriage.
• Jean Rhys, Quartet (originally titled Postures) (1928): a roman à clef in which Rhys fictionalised her affair with Ford Madox Ford.
• Bob Shaw, The Two-Timers (1968): described a ménage à trois in which the husband and the lover are two versions of the same man, from two alternate time lines.
• Adam Thirlwell, Politics (2003): a novel about a ménage à trois, which is referred to as "the socialist utopia of sex".

Theatre

• Noel Coward, Design for Living (1933), also Design for Living (film) (Ernst Lubitsch, 1933): about the complicated relationship between two men and a woman.

Films

• Bandits (Barry Levinson, 2001): a ménage à trois is a major part of the plot.
• Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (George Roy Hill, 1969): the relationsip between Butch, Sundance and Etta Place is a classic ménage à trois.
• Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands (Bruno Barreto, 1976): tells of a woman who lives simultaneously with her second husband and the ghost of her first.
• The Dreamers (Bernardo Bertolucci, 2003): a beautiful and functional ménage à trois with an unfortunate end.
• Head in the Clouds (John Duigan, 2004): tells the story of these three characters' sexual and romantic relationship with each other.
• Jules et Jim ( François Truffaut, 1961): is another classic ménage à trois.
• Kiss the Sky (Roger Young, 1999): aging married friends try to form a threesome while building an island retirement refuge. Though they fail, they learn to accept their situation with the help of a Buddhist monk.
• Les Diaboliques (Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1955): the husband is led on by his wife and mistress to believe that he will have a sexual encounter with both of them.
• Paint Your Wagon (Paddy Chayefsky, 1969): Ben marries Elizabeth, but she falls in love with Partner. They decide that if a Mormon man can have two wives, then a wife can have two husbands.
• Shortbus (John Cameron Mitchell, 2006): James and Jamie meet a young ex-model and aspiring singer named Ceth and the three begin a sexual relationship.
• Summer Lovers (Randal Kleiser, 1982): a vacation in Greece leads to a female-male-female relationship that is both emotional and sexual.
• Sunday Bloody Sunday (John Schlesinger, 1971): film about a threesome with a homosexual man, a heterosexual woman, and a bisexual man.
• Three of Hearts (Yurek Bogayevicz, 1993): a menage between straight gigolo, his lesbian best friend and her former lover, an attractive bisexual woman.
• Vicky Cristina Barcelona (Woody Allen, 2008): depicts a dysfunctional, sometimes violent relationship between two Spanish artists that is finally brought in to balance with the addition of Cristina.
• Y tu mamá también (Alfonso and Carlos Cuarón, 2001): a Mexican coming-of-age movie focusing on the sexual lives of the three main characters.

Television

• The Brady Bunch, A Very Brady Sequel: Marcia and Jan are walking home from the last day of school reading each other's yearbook messages. Marcia reads one to Jan that says "ménage à trois". Marcia replies saying "I bet that means 'you're the most'". This joke becomes a recurring gag throughout the course of the film between Marcia, Jan, and her fictitious boyfriend, George Glass.
• Friends (1994): Phoebe meets her real mother and learns that her real mother, her father, and the woman who raised her were extremely "close" and all had sexual relations together (#3.25).
• Seinfeld:
  • The Label Maker: George Costanza attempts to terminate a relationship by suggesting a ménage à trois, only to have it blow up in his face.
  • "The Switch": Jerry Seinfeld attempts to end a relationship with one roommate, and start one with another, using a suggestion by George.

Music

• David Crosby, "(Triad)": a song about a ménage à trois
• Britney Spears "3" (2009).
• Adam Lambert, For Your Entertainment, "Fever" (2009).

See also

Look up ménage à trois in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

• Threesome
• Polygamy
• Swinging
• Polyandry
• Polygyny
• Polyamory

References

Further reading

• Barbara Foster, Michael Foster, Letha Hadady. Three in Love: Ménages à trois from Ancient to Modern Times. ISBN 0595008070
• Vicki Vantoch. The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to sleeping with three. ISBN 1568583338