Naughty Rachel

Naughty Rachel is a fictional character in the British sitcom Green Wing, played by Katie Lyons.

History

Rachel supposedly works in the human resources department of East Hampton Hospital Trust, though it is rare for her to actually do any work.

Rachel got her nickname because she is always doing something cruel, rude or perverted. Instead of working she can often be seen in the post room, weighing her own breasts to see how much they would cost to send by post. When Dr. Martin Dear bemusedly spotted her doing this once, Rachel's reaction was, "Do you want to see how much it would be to send your penis? I'd say 28p".

She is often seen with her best friend Kim Alabaster, challenging her to games such as who can take off their bra the fastest while still wearing their top. Both of them also like to irritate fellow co-worker Karen Ball, most of the time giving her foolish advice as to how to win over Martin.

She has also slept with several members of staff at the hospital, such as co-worker Oliver and anaesthetist Dr. Guy Secretan. Indeed, Rachel once said to Oliver "I always fuck on a first date".

Rachel however does have other ways of making fun. When Dr. Alan Statham tried to chat her up, she said he could kiss her, but as he moved forward, she stapled Alan's tie to her desk. She also attempted, and failed, to steal an electric floor buffer (along with the operator), and prints off photocopies of banknotes. She once was licking banknotes in one episode with Kim, claiming that 70% of banknotes contained traces of cocaine.

In the last episode of series two, she unknowingly knocked Karen out of the office window. The fall caused Karen to become more confident but she lost her right hand. When Joanna went on the run, the HR staff ran riot. Rachel, as well as Karen and Kim started to interview male members of staff by asking them to take off their trousers. Soon, a tribe formed. She was last seen with the other office girls, taking a kidnapped Martin into her office.

The only other aspects known about her personal life is that she looks after her mother's dog, and she likes music. She has her own iPod, which Joanna destroyed by putting it in a glass of water. One of bands that was on it was Travis. Rachel claims the best she was compared to was Angelina Jolie and the worst was Miss Piggy.

Relationships

Harriet, Karen and Kim

Kim is Rachel's best friend. They often play rather childish games with each other, and also spend their time trying to make Karen feel uncomfortable.

She is also friends with Harriet, often helping her with her problems at home.

Joanna

Like most of the staff, Joanna does not get on with Rachel. Rachel is often trying to do something which is against the rules, and it is normally Joanna who stops her. Amongst her past misdemeanours Joanna has foiled was her attempt to steal an electric floor buffer, complete with the operator as she had no clue how to operate it herself.

These are a few notes Joanna has given Rachel, as listed in Green Wing - The Complete First Series Scripts:

• "Rachel, LEAVE YOUR HAIR ALONE - you're not Jennifer fucking Aniston. Please tell me you don't use L'Oréal, I can't think of anyone less worth it. (Except Karen, obviously.)"
• "Rachel, return my wet wipes. Only the unused ones this time."
• "Rachel, do not yodel whilst I'm in my office."

Other relationships

Rachel has got around the hospital due to her sexual activity; she always has sex on the first date. She has slept with both Oliver and Guy. She also is friendly with Boyce, and is seen smoking outside with him on several occasions.

Her only other relation is her mother, who has a pet dog.

External links

• Green Wing microsite biography